Fear of being looked at/photographed/etc

[drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

Anyone else have this? I'm genuinely so unhappy with my appearance that I fear people will point and laugh etc and just don't want to burden the world by letting them see me. It's pathetic in a guy but I guess I have little else to occupy my thoughts.

[bunkoff]

I used to really have a problem with people staring at me during my late teens/early twenties primarily because random people on far too often an occasion felt the need to insult my appearance because my skin wasn't in the greatest condition.

This made me become overly paranoid for a period where I started feeling that everytime someone walked past me they were staring and if they laughing or even slightly smiling. that they were doing that in response to me. So I started to always wear a cap when out, keeping my head down looking at the ground, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

Thankfully now I'm more able to properly rationalise and avoid misreading peoples gestures, not feeling everyone walking past me is staring and judging, I couldn't be of the slightest concern to them. Everyone is in their own little world, with better things to concern themselves with. Though I must admit that in situations where I can't simply slink away such as when I am on packed public transport, these feelings can surface again and I do attempt to zone out and try and concentrate my mind elsewhere.

[mossieman]

yep i only have 2 photographs of me as a adult. i worked out when i was young that if i was taking the photograph i could not be in it, it was this that got me into photography. it became even easier when i got my own camera, when ever it looked like they wanted to take a snap i would look like i was doing the same. when they asked me to be in it i would say just a mo i'm taking a photo & mess about until they got fed up & took the photo with the rest of the family. got me out of a hell of a lot of photos

[auster]

I didn't like get my photo taken in my 20's and i'd surprised if there any full length photos of me in my 20's in existence, not too bad now about getting my photo taken, if not overly keen. Probably realised no one really cares a jot how bad/good you look in a photo.

[Holz]

I don't mind so much if I take a photo of myself and put it on facebook or something - as long as I look half decent, but if someone else takes a photo of me I freak out.
In just about every photograph of me, especially ones where I'm with other people, I look uncomfortable, awkward, moody etc. I see this camera in my face and just freak out. I don't know what expression to pull, how to stand, what to do. When I look at photos of myself, I can't focus on anything/anyone else in the shot other than how awful I look. Terribly vain I know, but...

[Xithium]

It's probably the main contributer to my social anxiety, I'm so uncomfortable with my appearance that I find it difficult to go outside, and photographs... I don't think I have any proper ones of me since I was extremely small, as I detest them so much! The only way I (semi) manage to get by in life is by trying to convince myself that I don't look as bad as I do, and seeing a photograph of myself would totally shatter that illusion, so it's a priority to avoid that happening at all costs. On the odd ocassion I've come across an old picture of me or one that I was unaware had been taken, it's taken me a long time to 'recover' from.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and we've still not got one picture of us together, because I'm so opposed to photographs. And that upsets me a lot.

If only I felt more at ease with how I look, then I think I would put myself 'out there' a lot more, and be more inclined to speak up when around others. As it is, I remain quiet, in some part, just because I don't want to draw extra attention to my appearance by having people focus on me whilst I speak. It's not confined solely to having had extremely bad skin in my teenage years, but that is what left me with a lot of mental and emotional (as well as the physical) scars, which I'm really struggling to overcome.

[UkG]

With me it's weird, I hate people taking pictures of me, especially if I feel down, I only like photos that I take by myself in my own privacy.

My ex used to take pictures of me when I wasn't expecting it, and then show people I used to hate it.

I also don't like people staring at me in the street, I get a lot of people stare at me and I hate it, I'm paranoid as it is and people staring makes paranoia worse.

I just look in an other direction so I don't see them looking.

[Everleigh]

Originally Posted by bobblehat

This made me become overly paranoid for a period where I started feeling that everytime someone walked past me they were staring and if they laughing or even slightly smiling. that they were doing that in response to me. So I started to always wear a cap when out, keeping my head down looking at the ground, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

this is how ive felt for years and still do feel
It so exhausting, draining, stressful, annoying....and did I mention draining?

The other day I went into a shop where I was served by a nice looking young man, anyway there were no females to serve me so I had to talk to him. I was asking a few questions regarding a camera and had to stand there for about 15 mins with him looking at me and talking/explaining the product and how it was different to the other cameras. I felt soooooooooooooo uncomfortable, started blushing, sweating, felt like I was on fire, could not breathe properly and had a mini panic attack. All because I felt so uncomfortable with him looking at me (even though he had too, it was part of his job to talk to me as a customer).
so yes i get this too all the time, from ppl in the street to these one on one encounters. I left the shop soooo tired and just exhausted and also annoyed at myself for not being normal and seeing the situation for what it was-a meaningless encounter.

[canwetalk?]

I too feel this way most of the time, that people are looking at me and thinking negatively about my appearance. This then spirals and I go over and over in my head about what is wrong with me and what I want to change. The worst thing that I do though, when i'm feeling this way, is compare myself to others...which inevitably leads to an anxiety attack..chest pain, sweating,etc.
I'm always looking at other women/girls and noting how pretty they are, that they are all wearing new trendy clothes, are slim, blah blah blah...and feel that I am not in their 'world'.
I know that this seems completely materialistic and skewed thinking, but unfortunately at the moment this is the way my brain works, however illogical.
I think it's just that as i've not been working for a few years now, or going out etc, and I just feel that i'm kind of on the edges of society and I want to get back in. So i'm slowly re-introducing myself to the world and hope that the more I realise that i'm not a total social misfit and won't die if I get back out there, then these feelings will subside.

I've also noticed that when I am busy and feeling ok, people react very differently to me, in that if i'm feeling quite happy, people will smile at me etc. I think this proves that when i'm negging out, I give off a vibe, because it seems that I then become invisible..weird.

Anyway, because of my 'i'm not worthy' hang ups I tend not to have photos taken either and as Mossieman said...getting behind the camera is a great excuse
I'm trying to overcome all this crap thinking of mine lately and using the CBT philosophy...FEAR...Face Everything And Recover.
Sorry if this comes across as a rant, lol. I'm really not this neg all the time and am actually quite happy today. Hope everyone has a great day.

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

I hate being looked at on the outside.

Ive always been convinced that people laugh at me.

I've been insulted many times too.

My mind constantly reads into peoples facial expressions and tells me that the person thinks I'm weak or a joke.

I wish people walked around poker faced all the time tbh.

Thing is, I become defensive so quickly if I think that someone else thinks I'm weak.

I get filled with fear so easily and get angry with the person and the way I feel.

I either end up making a fool out of myself or scaring people.

Its like its automatic the way I think and feel and like I can't control it.

Im sure there have been times when a person has done nothing at all, Ive read into their facial expression wrong and flipped out like an idiot over nothing.

I always have constant doubts after the event about wether this perosn was laughing at me, thinking negative thoughts about me or not.

I constantly doubt myself because of how insecure I am.

I'm WAY too sensitive too.

I cant take a joke in the real world because I think people are always trying to test me or take the piss.

I think the bullying from high school and comments from people over the years has completely messed me up. Made me paranoid, filled with self doubt and unable to trust people.

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

If anyone smiles at me my mind tells me that they are smirking at me.

[Rane]

Hate having my picture taken, always have. At times, when Iv come across pictures others have taken of me, (99% of the time when Iv been drunk) Iv destroyed / deleted said pictures. Usually does not go down well

[G-1]

BDD and SA are often found together. Even if you don't have behaviours that would clinically be classed as BDD, you can still have the same thought patterns, so looking into BDD therapy may be helpful to most people in this thread.... there are plenty of decent books around, such as this:

Overcoming BDD

[AxelFendersson]

I hated having my photo taken for a long time. I was generally fine with taking self-portraits, as then had complete control over them and could delete them without them ever being seen should I so desire. But I hated when other people were taking them.

Trouble is, no matter how strenuously you object, it doesn't stop people taking pictures if they want to. And if you try and avoid being photographed, you just end up with lots of photos of you looking stupid in your efforts to remain hidden. In the end you just have to learn to put up with it.

[Grogoch]

Originally Posted by Everleigh

The other day I went into a shop where I was served by a nice looking young man, anyway there were no females to serve me so I had to talk to him. I was asking a few questions regarding a camera and had to stand there for about 15 mins with him looking at me and talking/explaining the product and how it was different to the other cameras. I felt soooooooooooooo uncomfortable, started blushing, sweating, felt like I was on fire, could not breathe properly and had a mini panic attack. All because I felt so uncomfortable with him looking at me (even though he had too, it was part of his job to talk to me as a customer)

I'm uneasy about being looked at. ^This happened the other day - a random guy was showing me a route on a map and suddenly he was staring at me dead on, really close, chatting away, and my head exploded. It felt like he was analysing all the wrongness of my face.

I used to squirm and dodge being in photos and then get terribly upset over how I looked in them. But as I've got older I don't mind so much if I look a bit ropey. I walk through tourist areas and get caught in the background of peoples holiday snaps. And I get caught on cctv all the time. I don't have any control over that, so I may as well let friends include me in their pictures too. I've accepted defeat to the omnipotent technology..
I also started thinking that it might seem rude and maybe a little vain for me to dodge photos, so I just let them (unless they take so many pictures it's annoying) and try to accept that I look as I do - sometimes ok and sometimes like a horrific turd.
I don't like the fact that they can zoom in on your face once they've uploaded it :/ but really, who's going to do that? And if they do, hmm, that makes them weirder than me. And they must have noticed my imperfections before, it's nothing new.

[Cognitive_Dissonance]

I've hardly had any photos taken since I was about 14. Before then I was happy with the way I looked and could look at myself in photos. After being bullied at high school and being criticised for my appearance, I developed a complex and started to feel self-conscious. I only ever have my photo taken if I need it for an online profile and, though I only ever use photos that I don't mind, I've never had any real compliments which might help me to feel a bit better about how I look.

Nobody I know would just take a random photo of me but I also don't like to go in shops or areas which hasve CCTV and hate catching sight of myself in a monitor.

As for being looked at, I can get quite paranoid when I'm out if I think someone is staring at me. Sometimes it's just someone making eye contact and I think they're judging me negatively. I've also had times when I've had to talk to someone I didn't know (usually when I worked or went for an interview) and been conscious of my intrusive thoughts and started to imagine what they would think if they could read my mind.

[Reasonable Doubt]

Like some other people on this thread, I've only had a handful of photos taken since adolescence and I can't be doing with the sight of myself in pictures. I must be the least photogenic person there is, I only look halfway acceptable if the photo's dark and taken from a decent distance.

I can never be comfortable when I know a camera's on me either, so the best I can manage is a forced smile that ends up looking like an awkward grimace.

[drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

I'm still not quite sure how some of u manage to cope with a facebook... That's a huge thing and lots of pressure around it, amount of friends, time u spend on it, ur appearance - all being judged

[Detox]

Well we always had pictures taken of us in College. And I've come to notice that I sometimes seem to have a hunched back because I don't stand up straight very much. Its quite odd, but almost like I've walked around looking down and depressive, instead of head up high its stuck and I'm so used to it.
It looks terrible on photos and it came across really badly on the last College set of photos.

And having a Facebook can be hard yes, I've changed my profile picture to a band logo more times than I can count over self image issues and BDD.
But there are one or two pictures of me I'm ok with, and you can always de-tag pictures to. Although I don't go out anywhere to get my picture taken now.

[drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

Mad really. I guess I'm just so selfloathing and look terrible from this lifestyle that I can't... I've not been able to deal with my appearance since like puberty age when I started having almost a permanent blush... And being as there was no treatment for such thing I felt helpless... Now its obviously turned into other areas because of being a hermit... Sighhhhhh /rant

[Xithium]

Originally Posted by drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm still not quite sure how some of u manage to cope with a facebook... That's a huge thing and lots of pressure around it, amount of friends, time u spend on it, ur appearance - all being judged

I have a facebook, but it's not much of a big deal to me. I still haven't put a proper picture up, don't spend very much time on it, and although I have amassed a fair few friends, the majority of them are members of SA forums or people I've long lost touch with - I've never really cared about the number I have. For me it's actually been quite helpful in allowing me to get in touch with people without the immediate pressure of having to talk more directly. I think it's only really pressuring if you buy into the idea that you're trying to somehow compete with others on there or that you have to 'prove yourself'. I avoided making a page for a very long time because I had no picture/s to put up on there, but then I just simply thought 'if there's nothing much for people to peer at, so what?'. It can be what you make of it really - an ego boosting exercise, or a useful tool.

I can understand that it can be a huge source of paranoia and anxiety for some people, so for them it's probably best left alone. For others like myself though, it's proved to be quite useful in slightly opening up a means of contact with people. Plus, those annoying little games are far too addictive!

[IRIS]

I was a bridesmaid in January and I haven't looked at the pictures as I hate the way I look, my friend was showing me pictures online and I made her skip the ones of me, I worried what she thought of her bridesmiad being so weird about it, but I know it would send me into a depresssion.
I'm going on a hen weekend this weekend and I am DREADING the inevitable pictures, which I know will end up all over facebook :/

[helenjane]

i avoid having my photo taken, the way i talk about how i look though is wrong really, i think i go too far and insult myself far too much, i mean im not that bad i dont think but i have just always been quite negative about myself i just lack a hell of alot of confidence, i always think other women are so much better than me i need to stop thinking that though, i cant just keep thinking that all the time

[karl-32]

i'm not very photogenic at all.

i look alot better in person than on a photograph . i hate having my photo took.

i went to my mums wedding when i was 19 and when the big family photograph was being taken the photographer lowered his camera , looked at me and said "well smile then" lol

says it all (insert vanishing rolly eye smiley here )

[sjsuk]

Originally Posted by drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Anyone else have this? .

My thoughts are that people will see me differently in a photo....I feel like looking at me in a pic, is like looking at someone else.
I can't really explain it.... I think I dont want to look like how people see me.....if that makes sense?

I dont really like how I look. I no longer 'hate' it, but I am not comfortable with it, and don't really want it on show for people to pick holes, and see the imperfections I see everyday.
Photo's make me feel exposed.

(Hence, I havent had a passport since I was 18, and I'm 37 )

[Nigel]

I cant look at pictures of myself...its bad enough looking in the mirror! The last time I had a picture taken was a few months ago, it was for a student card. I sat there looking down feeling like I was being assaulted, as soon as I got the card I threw in away. never mind the 10% discount, looking at that everytime would be to upsetting. I'm ok with kid pics of myself but not recent ones. Once my skin is better i might feel better about it. I hope anyway

[Michael2014]

I used to have completely the same thing before I finally got facebook. I used to make sure I wasn't on any pictures because with me not having facebook I wasn't sure what people were going to comment about me on the internet. But now since getting facebook I've realised that people don't comment on the way I look in the comments section.

I still can't manage to have a real profile picture of myself though. . Very stupid I know !

[PositivePoemsbyme]

i used to but now im starting to really like getting my picture taken with my friends and just act goofy with them

[wez]

i really dont like it when im photographed , i have a funny looking face and i have a huge issue with my right hand side profile , if i ever look in the mirror at that side , it makes me feel sick and sad :/ but its true i look awfull , as for being filmed , i remember once when i was like 17 i went to the park to film a home made documentary on the wildlife that inhabited it , and when i got back and watched it i was filled with horror and shock , i never knew that was how bad i looked and came across , so ive never talked on cam since .

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

I did two webcams today.

One where someone could only see me and one where we could both see each other. I only actually activated the mic and spoke on the one where we could both see each other though

I feel better for doing this.