Being unphotogenic

[Amber Fyre]

I don't like writing self-indulgent threads and I'll probably regret this big time but what the hell...


Does anyone else feel completely unphotogenic?

This wouldn’t normally bother me I suppose, as it’s not as though I am required to have my picture taken very often or have to look at them. But the invention of Facebook and things like that has changed that somewhat. Requires you to constantly look at pictures of yourself. You need to have a profile picture really. Probably seems weird if you don’t have one of yourself, and a big purpose of the picture is so people can find you so you kind of need to have one really.

I check it often and have to keep looking at these terrible profile pictures of myself. I look through pictures and finally find one I think is ‘okay’, but then every single day I look at it I feel more and more insecure about it. I start seeing the flaws, seeing how my face looks stupid... it builds up until I need to change it. And then the same process starts again. In every photo ever taken of me I look terrible. I think they’re worse than the ‘mirror me’, which I’m learning to live with. So either I just am hideously ugly all the time, or maybe I’m not captured very well in non-motion, I don’t know! And then I don’t know if it’s just in my head or if all these photos do really look that terrible? If I look really bad in EVERY picture of myself then there’s not much hope I look much better in real life is there?

I think I’ve made some progress with self confidence with my looks recently (more with my body than my face though), but with photos I just can’t seem to ‘get there’. Photos are dragging down any other progress I am making. I think I’m getting worse too, I used to be able to post pictures on here of myself, can’t really do that now. Trying to with profile pictures but even then I have to edit them so they don’t look as much like me and I remove them quickly. Pictures just make me feel so insecure and ugly, and not quite sure how to tackle this. Am I just unphotogenic? Imagining things? Or just look bad in general?

Anyone else struggle with pictures? Not sure if I’m seeking advice because not sure if there is any advice to be given really. Just to learn not to care as much? I dunno. I either accept I look bad in pictures and move on, or learn to somehow like how I look in them. How that is done I do not know!
Hope this doesn't sound too trivial. I know I've written too much, I don't know how to keep my mouth shut and shut up!

[rekrul]

There is a practical reason why most people appear worse to themselves in photos.
When we look in a mirror we see ourselves in "mirror image" : left becomes right and right becomes left.
We all have some asymmetry in our faces and our mind tends to compensated for this so that we don't notice them much in the mirror.
When we see our own photograph the mind does it's normal compensation and not only do we see our asymmetry but we see it doubled.
To check whether this is a big factor for you just try looking at your photos in a mirror. If they look a lot better then this is happening.

More likely, since you are here, is that you are just over critical of your own looks. This is true for me. The only way I have found to deal with it is just to accept I can't "see" my own photos clearly and trust other peoples reactions. If someone says it's a nice photo of me, then it is, even if I can't see it.

[Amber Fyre]

Originally Posted by rekrul

More likely, since you are here, is that you are just over critical of your own looks. This is true for me. The only way I have found to deal with it is just to accept I can't "see" my own photos clearly and trust other peoples reactions. If someone says it's a nice photo of me, then it is, even if I can't see it.

Thanks for the reply. When I start a thread there's always that sigh of relief moment when someone replies!

What you said about looking at a photo in a mirror sounds interesting. I will try that! I think I have quite a symmetrical face though so not sure.

Yes I've had issues with my looks for a long time! Not quite sure why, I don't get people saying anything bad or anything. But I just find it easy to see the flaws I suppose! How I feel about myself can completely change my confidence levels in general too so it's something I need to get a hold of. Not sure I'm brave enough to ask people I know what they think of my photos though!

[brian_maiden]

The mirror thing is true. I've looked at a picture of myself in the mirror and it did look better that way... weird, but true.

Also, do you feel differently about pictures that you have taken yourself? Do you feel that you always look bad in pictures other people have taken of you, but when you take a picture of yourself it looks ok?

If so, that's probably because you are able to relax more and therefore look better in the pictures. That's how it is with me. I very rarely like pictures that other people have taken of me. When someone points a camera at me I tense up. I try to smile, or just relax, but i just look like some gurning fool. I'm better when I take pictures of myself though. I still hate some (a lot) of them, but can usually get one or 2 that I like.

Taking pictures of yourself can feel shallow and self indulgent, but when you think about it, most people on facebook have pictures like that, so you wont look out of place, especially if you don't try overly hard to look 'cool'.

Having a few decent photos of yourself might boost your confidence and perhaps in time you'll feel more comfortable with pictures that other people take of you...

Hope that's of some help!

[Blumoon]

Okay i take a lot of fotos (of myself ) and most turn out okay, it only goes wrong when i'm havin a depressed day. I'm not sayin i love myself, when i keep looking at the same photo i get sick of how i look in it aswell.
I wish i could look good all the time - even in real life but in real life nobody does! celebs are all gona be even just in some parts airbrushed. So people don't look as good as we think anyway.
x

[Amber Fyre]

Originally Posted by brian_maiden

Also, do you feel differently about pictures that you have taken yourself? Do you feel that you always look bad in pictures other people have taken of you, but when you take a picture of yourself it looks ok?

Thanks for the reply and advice

I don't think it makes much difference to me who takes it. I've tried taking pictures of myself. Usually they are closer up so that automatically makes them bad!
Sometimes I, or someone else, takes a photo of me that I think looks okay. But then the second time I look at it it looks worse, then worse, then worse... until all I can see is the flaws. Due to that I have 0 photos I think are okay. So I dunno really... I think in some ways it wouldn't matter what I looked like, I'd still just pick out the flaws! But I don't want to be like that, insecure etc. I want to just be one of those people who can have completely goofy stupid pictures taken of themselves and not care! It's the only real issue I have with facebook really, that it requires a photo of me, the other issues people have don't bother me much.

[Holz]

I always look uncomfortable in photos - I think I see the camera, freak out what expression to pull/position to stand in etc, and so I just look dreadful in them.
I went to a club a few months ago and they put photos of people on their website. I went to find mine and my God, everyone else looked so amazing except me, who looks constipated Think I'll have to avoid the photographer next time...

[Vandal]

I'm pretty much exactly the same as you've described Amber. I need to take like literally about one hundred photos of myself to find one that is acceptable to use and even then I have doubts about it over time. I look in the mirror sometimes and think I don't look too bad but I take a photo at the same moment and find something I don't like so I can't use it. I think a lot of it is down to self esteem and all but I'm pretty sure just some people aren't very photogenic either. It's hard to tell when you actually have the dilemma upon yourself. I have a pretty decent smile when it's genuine for example (or so I've been told) but I can't fake smile at all and I really don't like my smile on photos! I don't have 1 photo of my smiling >.< I did actually post the only three acceptable photos I have atm somewhere.

I tend to feel less anxious about people seeing me in person than I do seeing me in a photo. Obviously its harder to talk to them that way! But people get to see the real you in person I guess. Anyway yeah, I get this too, just keep a few photos up that you feel are 'okay' and that'll have to do!

[Amber Fyre]

Originally Posted by Cynic

Not at all. Not from the pics I've seen of you. I notice you never smile though. There's nothing wrong with your looks.

hehe, I do smile! When have you seen pictures of me? I think the ones I posted on here years ago I probably looked miserable! Perhaps when choosing pictures I pick the ones where I'm not smiling as I think I look less stupid.
But thanks I will make a super effort to smile more in pictures. As long as my mouth is shut and I don't look too stupid of course!

Thanks everyone for the replies. I think I actually feel quite comfortable having my photo taken and I don't think I look too uncomfortable (I hope!). It's just the overanalysis of the picture afterwards 'look how big my chin looks in that' 'look how wonky my face looks in that' 'I look so miserable there' etc etc... picking out random bits which I see as flaws then only seeing them and presuming everyone else will just focus on that bit too!

[teal]

Originally Posted by rekrul

There is a practical reason why most people appear worse to themselves in photos.

When we see our own photograph the mind does it's normal compensation and not only do we see our asymmetry but we see it doubled.

Oooh interesting. You see, when I look at my dogs (who both have strongly asymmetrical patches on their faces) in a mirror, they look like weird ugly alien dogs. I've often wondered why. Now I know.

Funny though. I really am unphotogenic. I know cos someone once pointed it out, amazed that I looked so bad in a photo and was then thumped by an ex boyfriend of mine who happened to be in the room. I like to think this means I am stunning in reality (ha ha, if only!)

[hardy]

believing youre unphotogenic is a problem and believing that its a problem

BEING unphotogenic isnt much of a problem.


sorry that might be a bit difficult to follow . but do you see what I mean?

[teal]

Originally Posted by hardy

sorry that might be a bit difficult to follow . but do you see what I mean?

Yes. And you are quite right. As long as the camera doesn't break, who cares? Put on a big smile and just be the happiest person in the photo.

(Unless you have ambitions to be a supermodel. Which I would think would be unlikely round here.)