Social anxiety even with family

[firemonkey]

Does anyone find they experience social anxiety not just with strangers but with family too? I am not too bad if I meet family on home ground but if I go to theirs the anxiety really kicks in. I think of all the ways I am likely to do something socially embarrassing or inept while there.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I was like this for many, many years. I was even pulled up on it by my Mum's niece years ago because I'd go beetroot whenever she spoke to me. She criticised me for it and I felt pretty humiliated to say the least. Of course, it made the anxiety far worse from then on. I was also very SA with other family members and cousins. It was absolutely horrible because your home should really feel like your refuge. When you are even SA there, you have nowhere to hide at all.

[ConverseCody]

Yes, I get this with grandparents sometimes. Go red faced and flustered. Its kind of annoying. I'm fine with my parents and brother though

[Professor Willow]

I can relate to this, I avoid family gatherings like the plague, mainly to avoid the dreaded questions about what I am doing with my life but also because I just feel uncomfortable being around them.

[Eralc]

Definitely relate to this... When I haven't seen my siblings for a while I feel awkward. Family gatherings round my brother's house are very awkward. They quite often have parties and I end up sitting in a corner or hiding in the loo!

[AnnieLu]

Yes. I have 3 cousins I'm absolutely fine with but the others I feel intimidated by...they have so much more than me in every way (career, money, house, car, looks, gadgets, kids, confidence, you name it) and I know they place a lot of importance on these 'successes' so I know I don't amount to much in their eyes. I think it's more to do with them than me but it still accentuates my insecurities. Luckily I think they consider me something of a black sheep so I never get invited anywhere and haven't seen them for years!

[David K]

Originally Posted by Ajax Amsterdam

I was like this for many, many years. I was even pulled up on it by my Mum's niece years ago because I'd go beetroot whenever she spoke to me. She criticised me for it and I felt pretty humiliated to say the least. Of course, it made the anxiety far worse from then on. I was also very SA with other family members and cousins. It was absolutely horrible because your home should really feel like your refuge. When you are even SA there, you have nowhere to hide at all.

My SA is terrible around my parents. I live with my parents.

[David K]

^ Yeah it's worse for me now. Life was easier when they just thought I was a jackass.

[Oddity]

I get on well with my father, he knows about my issues and is very supportive. Before any of us knew I had SA it was tough and ^ yeah I used to argue too out of everything because actually doing the thing was a hell of a lot scarier.

Eldest brother I'm anxious around depending on his mood. Sometimes he'll confront me in front of others (saying how lazy I am, a leech, loser, shut in etc.), which I can often make a joke of to diffuse it, but other times it makes me feel pathetic. There's no point trying to explain anything to him, he knows best.

My other brother is a laugh and knows I have social problems, but he can sometimes make me the butt of jokes in situation that I'm already anxious as hell in.

Extended family know nuffin' and I hope to keep it that way. I can be pretty relaxed around them as long as my brothers aren't around.

[Clockface]

Yes. I think both my immediate and extended family are partly the cause of my SA. Or they might be the reason it has kept going. It***8217;s kinda hard to say, because I have been SA for as long as I can remember. I know I was socially inept around my extended family when I was little, and this would make my Dad angry with me as I was causing him to be embarrassed and because he must have thought I was misrepresenting him as a father. Eventually it made me have to be careful what I said and how I acted around family, and even if I said very little and kept myself to myself to keep from putting my foot in it, I would still get into trouble with my parents for not being participative enough and for appearing miserable. I was the loser out of all of my cousins on my Dad***8217;s side, as they were all confident, adept, sociable and successful. I think some of them even disliked me, which is hardly surprising. I have awful flashbacks to how I must have come across to my extended family members. For example an uncle or auntie may have been asking me how I was or how I was doing at school, and the way I responded, normally with very few words and without elaborating on my answer, would have drawn an internal reaction from them along the lines of ***8220;this nephew of mine is weird***8221;, and would have drawn a disappointed and/or angry reaction from my Dad, who was no doubt watching me to see how I would behave socially.

Nowadays I live on my own about an hour***8217;s drive from my parents. My parents are the only family I see, and I feel socially anxious around them because they have seen how socially inept and weird I was as a child, and how underdeveloped I am. I can only spend a bit of time with them because after a while I feel like a robot. I never see my extended family. Events occur within the family but I never get invited to them, probably because they all think I***8217;m a weirdo. My social skills, although not brilliant, are much better than they were 25 years ago but my family will not give me the chance to prove this and are probably stuck in the mindset that if I meet up with them I will make a complete idiot of myself. Now that they have apparently disowned me I would be too afraid to attend an event and if I tried to interact with them I would probably come across as still inept and weird because the anxiety would rise to the surface and crush the social skills I know I am capable of demonstrating.

[Silent Treatment]

No..i am totally relaxed with family..they know me so I don't feel I have to put on any kind of an act..i can be as miserable as i like and basically still get away with it..wished i could bottle that feeling for when i meet strangers.

[firemonkey]

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