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Old 1st May 2019, 20:42
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Strathclyde
Posts: 5,666


Default Comparison

I think this subject merits some discussion,
I see so much grief on these pages, a lot of it centred around comparison,
People feeling bad because they're comparing themself to other people based on age, marital status, wealth ,etc.
Everything, every single aspect of life seems to be up for comparison here for some reason, no matter how unhelpful, uninformed or misplaced it may be

I'm seeing how much this just brings people down, how much it then magnifies 10-fold whatever pain or loss there existed already from SA etc.

I'm wondering if we see this clearly, how it's just artificial, ..because your life is yours alone,
Your life stands alone, and is unique and different from someone else's,
I'm wondering if we see clearly how this habit of comparison is also just twisting the knife, making things worse and just turning your world view into something miserable and hurtful?

I think if we didn't compare we'd perhaps experience our lives in a completely different way,
Our life story would be ours alone,..our own path, our own skills and talents could shine through, we could see things shining alone for what they are

I also think that in the comparison mind-set you end up stopping your own life and your own personal progress and end up following and getting into other things you're probably not meant for or good at, or at least I have anyway.

Ending comparison could also unleash a lot of positive energy and creativity, as comparison often means following other people, which would inevitably stifle your own vision, your own creativity, ..

What are other people's views on comparison?
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Old 1st May 2019, 20:53
Dougella Dougella is offline
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 7,504


Default Re: Comparison

Comparison is the thief of joy.
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Old 1st May 2019, 22:46
limey123 limey123 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 612
Default Re: Comparison

Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others, not realising that everyone has a different question paper.
--Source unknown
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Old 1st May 2019, 23:38
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: near Bolsover, Derbyshire
Posts: 823
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Comparison

I agree wholeheartedly with the OP; we all face different challenges in life and we have to recognise our achievements in the light of our particular challenges. What is right for others is not necessarily right for us and measuring ourselves against others often brings a negative perspective on ourselves.

We live in an age where the old "milestones" are becoming more irrelevant anyway; people are no longer expected to get married/settle down/have children by a certain age. As house prices rise, renting is becoming more common and those who do buy their own homes are doing so later in life. Conversely, social media is telling us that everyone else is having a wonderful life, as they portray only the most positive aspects of their existence.

Let's not forget that half of all marriages end in divorce and that often, those who seem to have it all early in life may lose it later; the local meetup groups where I live are full of people who, for various reasons, are starting again in their 40s or 50s and discovering that life isn't as easy as it seemed twenty-odd years ago!

Personally, I've never had much interest in what others are doing and have tended tow pursue my own path; life has taken me down some unusual roads and a few dead ends, but it's also brought me to a place where I feel happy and fulfilled. I've had many low moments and hit rock bottom more than once, but without that past, I wouldn't be appreciating what I have now.

There are many people, in fact the majority, whose lives are not filled with happiness, success, wealth, adventure or whatever else it is that we perceive that they all have and we lack. For most, life is drudgery, a mundane existence interspersed with occasional moments of joy. Happiness is never a permanent state, nor does it come from what we have amassed; it comes from within and is much easier to find when we know what we want and pursue our own goals.

Sent from my SM-J330FN using Tapatalk
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Old 2nd May 2019, 10:03
limey123 limey123 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 612
Default Re: Comparison

Wise words by GI
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Old 2nd May 2019, 10:18
firemonkey firemonkey is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Calne,Wiltshire
Posts: 4,977


Default Re: Comparison

I think I haven't done much that's worthwhile,but I don't compare myself to any one particular individual except my father.
When I was about 9 my mother, who by that time was regularly arguing with him, said I'd never be as good as him.

I've never worked and have no friends. I've been a psychiatric patient for 45 years. I need help to maintain my independence. I'm not the average 62 year old.
My father on the other hand had a good career in the Foreign office, and has a fair amount of friends.

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