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  #5101  
Old 7th December 2019, 05:07
Purplesnarf Purplesnarf is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

^ Well done, hope this will help you in the long run mutedsoul
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  #5102  
Old 11th December 2019, 18:13
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

This may seems little to some but I brought a smart trench coat, not a very expensive one though and wore it to work. Maybe it’s too smart to wear to a kitchen porter job that’s messy.

At first I was uncomfortable wearing it as I don’t usually wear such clothes but I became a bit more comfortable wearing it and plan to wear it more.

Though I noticed, I think the receptionist may have been surprised I wore it cause I said hi as usual but today they turned their head quickly.

But I feel I have reached the point where I don’t care enough to not wear it cause people mostly seem to judge me more for my shyness than getting to know who I am. They seem to assume I’m somehow beneath them, that’s what I suspect especially since I’ve received the silent treatment from multiple people at different jobs.

So I’m dammed if I do or don’t. So I’m wearing it, I’m not what people say I am.

I brought it cause I felt I liked the look.
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  #5103  
Old 12th December 2019, 09:42
Jen. Jen. is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

Are you sure it was because of the coat? That does seem like a strange reaction to it, unless you were also wearing a fedora or something. The receptionist turning their head could have been completely unrelated.
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  #5104  
Old 13th December 2019, 08:05
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen.
Are you sure it was because of the coat? That does seem like a strange reaction to it, unless you were also wearing a fedora or something. The receptionist turning their head could have been completely unrelated.
Maybe I was anxious in it. The next time the receptionist was better. It can be cause of the coat as I’m a kitchen porter and seen as low status generally at the workplace. My uniform is also messy due to cleaning the kitchen, doing deliveries also so wearing something smart is a contrast to the job role.

It wasn’t unrelated or if it was it was something I may have been doing as the reception is empty in the mornings.
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  #5105  
Old 13th December 2019, 12:34
Jen. Jen. is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

Social anxiety is about not interpreting reality properly though, isn't it? Believing that situations are harmful when they're not, believing people are judging you when they're not, etc. It's when a person's reactions don't appropriately match the reality of a situation. From what you describe, it just doesn't make any sense. If you genuinely believe that the receptionist thought your new coat was somehow inappropriate for your job role and that you shouldn't be wearing it, and in response to that thought turned their head so as not to look at/talk to you because they were so disgusted, then... fine. It really could have been down to anything at all though, so it doesn't make any sense to assume anything. Just continue saying hello and being friendly as usual, otherwise it'll be how you're feeling about it now that causes a situation with them in future.
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  #5106  
Old 13th December 2019, 13:55
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

Doesn’t mean people don’t judge you. There is such thing as being taken advantage of, being looked down on, getting the silent treatment. Let’s not pretend that that doesn’t exist. People aren’t all good, no one is, but understanding why they are the way they are makes us more understanding. I don’t hate the receptionist for what he did but I found it interesting. Perhaps if I was in his situation I would do the same.

Maybe it was my body language, maybe I admittedly also have the wrong perspective but I’m not going to pretend his reaction was typical and just forget about it or blame myself for inviting such reaction.
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  #5107  
Old 13th December 2019, 22:57
ᚦaul ᚦaul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

^
Its probably your reaction to how you think you are being perceived which is creating conflict. it often is with these things. a bit like overcompensating and making something out of nothing which would then create conflict between you and others. so with "being looked down upon" and disrespect, if you then for example over compensate and try to then usurp others as a way to perceive you are taking back control either directly or indirectly, it's probably gonna get peoples backs up.
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  #5108  
Old 14th December 2019, 12:10
ᚦaul ᚦaul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

^ this is what is meant by creating something out of nothing. the best approach would be what has already been said, to carry on as normal and not get "defensive" or "intense" as you're probably not interpreting the situation correctly. if you let your problems get the better of you it's just going to create problems between you and other people!
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  #5109  
Old 14th December 2019, 14:57
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

The situation happened and I'm thinking what I want to think of it. Idk, if I came across somehow posting it over here but it did happen. Maybe on my original post I came across a bit irrational, I probably am when it comes to stuff like this, but the head turn did mean something and people do react differently when you wear different stuff. It's true that there could be other reasons the receptionist acted the way they did that day, maybe my body language and stuff.

I don't really want to talk more about the situation.
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