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  #31  
Old 3rd January 2011, 13:51
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I was in the running for the part of Austin Powers in the popular movie franchise. In the end, I was considered to be too sexually attractive for the role.
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  #32  
Old 3rd January 2011, 13:52
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

The attacks on pearl harbour came to me in a prevision. Unfortunately, I couldn't warn the 'murricans, because I had been abducted by E.T at the time.
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  #33  
Old 3rd January 2011, 13:55
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Coincidentally, I covertly infiltrated and neutralised a Columbian coke factory dressed as E.T in 1971.
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  #34  
Old 3rd January 2011, 13:57
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I once masqueraded as the second coming of Christ. I had to flee the attacks of ferocious Jesus - The First Edition fans, into New Mexico.
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  #35  
Old 3rd January 2011, 13:58
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I invented the trebuchet as a method of breaching the Berlin wall.
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  #36  
Old 3rd January 2011, 14:00
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Women are dangerous, and don't belong in the newsroom. Their periods attract bears. THE BEARS CAN SMELL THE MENSTRUATION.
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  #37  
Old 3rd January 2011, 14:40
-Simon- -Simon- is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I was the first person to successfully breed dairylea triangles in captivity.
You know peanut butter? - doesn't contain peanuts, fact.
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  #38  
Old 3rd January 2011, 14:45
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

As a result of a road cycling accident, I can confirm that I have copulated with my own seat.
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  #39  
Old 3rd January 2011, 14:50
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

A popular misconception surrounds neil armstrong's moon landing. Interference and decoding errors masked his actual words: "I'm happy to be off, dan [ground controller] now I need some cream, for my behind."
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  #40  
Old 3rd January 2011, 14:51
LmaoZedong LmaoZedong is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I am the infamous wizard Jafar in disguise.
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  #41  
Old 3rd January 2011, 15:56
Mr_Bean Mr_Bean is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I was the first man on the moon. I pop to Mars occasionally on holiday.
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  #42  
Old 3rd January 2011, 20:14
-Simon- -Simon- is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

The Haribo corporation was founded by disgraced nazi war criminal Heinrich Haribo.
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  #43  
Old 3rd January 2011, 22:07
-Simon- -Simon- is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

'A la recherche du temps perdu' was an unexpected success in the world of publishing arising, as it did, from an incorrectly translated leaflet enclosed in a shipment sent from the dunlop factory in Swindon to a Raleigh Bicycle franchise in Ballycomeuppance, Sligo.
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  #44  
Old 3rd January 2011, 23:22
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fatty Arbottle
The Haribo corporation was founded by disgraced nazi war criminal Heinrich Haribo.
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  #45  
Old 5th January 2011, 05:12
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

i am sound asleep.
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  #46  
Old 5th January 2011, 05:13
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

...nor am i disturbingly addicted to mass effect 2
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  #47  
Old 5th January 2011, 06:56
Mortigantoj Mortigantoj is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

She loves me!
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  #48  
Old 5th January 2011, 11:10
Admiral Fool Admiral Fool is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I know the secret of life but I'm not telling anybody.
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  #49  
Old 5th January 2011, 15:46
Oatmeal Oatmeal is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I took a photo of you smoking a fag and sent it to your mum.
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  #50  
Old 5th January 2011, 22:04
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

stephen hawking is just a guy in a permanent vegetative state with a nice smile. i'm behind the curtain, doing all the sums.
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  #51  
Old 5th January 2011, 23:25
Mr. Spaceman Mr. Spaceman is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I started the First World War (sorry )
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  #52  
Old 5th January 2011, 23:35
Rubik Rubik is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm Spartacus
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  #53  
Old 6th January 2011, 01:11
Mortigantoj Mortigantoj is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

^ No, I'm Spartacus!
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  #54  
Old 6th January 2011, 11:21
Blumoon Blumoon is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I don't tell lies.
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  #55  
Old 6th January 2011, 15:16
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm a talkative, intelligent, vibrant, happy person who everyone loves to be around, many hanging on my every word.
Women particularly have always been strangely drawn to me, often, Married Women will make shameless fools of themselves vying for my affections,..
my physique is phenomenally attractive to Women..and I can often attract large groups of Women who will follow me along the pavement whenever I venture out and about, casting many furtive glances my way.. much to the disgruntlement of their boyfriends and husbands who are left wondering "where did she go?"...
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  #56  
Old 6th January 2011, 16:49
Mr. Spaceman Mr. Spaceman is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

The Catholic church is planning to make Dennis Waterman a saint.
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  #57  
Old 7th January 2011, 06:45
Effervescing Elephant Effervescing Elephant is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

When startled I emit a high pitched chittering sound which can render nearby geese dyslexic.

Using time-lapse photography I was the first person ever to film domestic wardrobes mating.

My grandad was at The Somme but got bored and left early.
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  #58  
Old 8th January 2011, 01:01
Mortigantoj Mortigantoj is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by abc2
Jesus served his disciples bowels of Golden Grahams at the last supper.
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  #59  
Old 8th January 2011, 01:14
Mortigantoj Mortigantoj is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

^ no, it was John Wayne
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  #60  
Old 8th January 2011, 02:23
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

"two girls one cup" was funded with an arts council grant.
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