Haircut anxiety

Mark_One · #1 23rd February 2010, 07:40

Does anyone else get affected by this?

Im urgently needing a haircut but want a proper professional salon haircut instead of the barber cut which rarely turns out decent.

However, I just cant bring myself to find a hair salon and make an appointment. The thought of having to carry on conversation whilst having my haircut with a confident stranger fills me with fear.

Has anyone any advice/tips/experiences on this? Thanks.

Dub16 · #2 23rd February 2010, 07:52

I tend to just stick to my local barber, purely because its all over and done with quicker. The thoughts of going to some hair salon and spending ages in there would just stress me too much.

Although my hair is short anyway so even if I didnt have SA I'd probably still swerve the hair-salon type thing.

[MiffyKoala] · #3 23rd February 2010, 08:19

Ah, i recently started going back to the hairdressers after 6 years of cutting my own hair cos of fear of going!

If you go to Supercuts you don't need an appointment, just walk in and they get straight on with it

http://supercuts.co.uk/

There are a few other ones like Kieran Mullin who do that too. http://www.kieranmullin.co.uk/

When i told the woman who was doing my hair that i have SA she seemed really surprised cos i she thought i looked really confident looking n such! She went on to tell me she went through a time of severe depression and the convo just kinda flowed

The amount of people hair they cut i doubt they'd remember you anyway (not in a horrible way

)

Its kinda like taxi drivers.. if you dont talk to em they dont usually bother trying to talk

And the boost you get after getting a hair cut is so good its worth fighting through it

Good luck!
xx

Alex76 · #4 23rd February 2010, 14:21

I do my own these days - no. 2 all over with the clippers.
I never use to like the small talk thing that hairdressers go in for. 'Day off today is it?' was the same old line my last one use to come out with lol.
I could put up with it though if needs be as I was never in there long.
I guess it's worse for SA women as their hair takes like, forever to do, so that must mean alot of small talk to put up with :rolleyes:

Mark_One · #5 23rd February 2010, 17:43

Thanks for your replies so far.

I even get nervous about going to my barber because I havent the courage to tell her that it doesnt look straight/good etc. This has happened twice in December where I ended up looking worse than I wanted to.

So Ive got this theory about if I can improve my appearance then I may start to feel good about myself, hence a good quality professional haircut as an experiment.

Miffykoala thats a good idea about explaining about my anxiety problems beforehand as hopefully it will put both me and the hairdresser person at ease. The conversation side of things is what I really really dread especially when they assume Im like everyone else and have hundreds of friends, go drinking, nightclubs, sport mad etc whereas none of that appeals to me.

Alex76, I sometimes have trimmed my own hair but havent the nerve to cut it allover lol. Ive had to trim it the last twice Ive been for a barber cut though just to try and make it look half-decent.

If Im brave enough to actually have my hair done then I may post a photo.

HallamMacca · #6 23rd February 2010, 17:51

You could initiate the conversation wth the hairdresser? Think of a topic you are happy talking about. I usually end up talking footy if not the general state of the world

britman · #7 24th February 2010, 13:27

I tend to notice barbers are useless unless its basic trims and cuts, beem toni and guy a few times, alough dear has com eout ok, but still have to say if dont like bits and once took to much off. I use a supercuts sometimes as tehre someon ein there my mum uses, but some hairdresser in them can be not to good unfortunatly. good luck. I hate sitting still and cant concentrate and also have to make up small talk alough i usually say i feel tired etc and then they dont bother so much.

danielv · #8 24th February 2010, 13:34

yeh I get this.

I hate having to stare at myself in the mirror as well as making conversation bah, Its bad light in there as well, makes me look weird

Effervescing Elephant · #9 24th February 2010, 14:32

I used to hate having haircuts intensely when I was young. Whatever I asked for (or however much I paid) I invariably ended up with the same shapeless, "pudding bowl" cut. I'm going bald now though so that's one problem solved

I also hate looking in the mirror - I whip my glasses off as soon as I sit down and for all I can see it could be anybody reflected in the glass.

Johnni · #10 24th February 2010, 19:05

With most of the haircuts i have i find that the hairdresser does'nt make that much conversation. If they are any good they are concentrating more on your hair than chit chatting.
The more high end salons i been to seem to have staff that are less talkative cos they are concentrating more on your hair from my experience.
If they do talk and you don't talk too much i doubt they will go on and on as they must get the vibe as to who wants to chat and who does'nt.

[MiffyKoala] · #11 25th February 2010, 18:20

I usually end up mentioning my SA when they ask if i got the day off work etc... i say 'i dont work at the moment' then if i feel like it i'll say.. cos im on incapacity benefits blahblahblah... some of them dont know what it is so its kinda interesting to tell them bout it. then u get ones who really dont get it so i just dont really say anythin unless they ask me how i am etc..and some do understand it and are quite sympathetic about it

and some get it cos theyve been through it themselves or something similar... but at the end of the day theyre just paid to make convo and cut hair

And it is true what they say... the more you do something the easier it will become to keep doing it

Mark_One · #12 25th February 2010, 21:35

Im still dreading it lol. I just dont understand why I cant do such a simple thing like the haircut.

[MiffyKoala] · #13 26th February 2010, 12:02

Its cos we have to sit in a chair for about 45 mins, looking in a mirror and being able to see the person while they style n cut your hair and you feel you have to get into a convo with them.

Mark_One · #14 27th February 2010, 18:51

I was so anxious about it today that it reduced me to tears again. So I have decided that its just something impossible for me to do although Ive no idea what my therapist will say to that.

Cookie-Monster · #15 27th February 2010, 19:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark_One

Does anyone else get affected by this?

Im urgently needing a haircut but want a proper professional salon haircut instead of the barber cut which rarely turns out decent.

However, I just cant bring myself to find a hair salon and make an appointment. The thought of having to carry on conversation whilst having my haircut with a confident stranger fills me with fear.

Has anyone any advice/tips/experiences on this? Thanks.

This bothers me a lot too. I just grin my teeth and get it over with. I tend to stay quite or don't say much cos I don't have anything interesting to say and the barber/hairdresser stops trying with the conversation. End up feeling like a piece of crap but what can you do. But its starting to bother me less and less.

chocolette · #16 27th February 2010, 21:30

Yay! I'm not alone

I absolutely hate it which is a shame as having someone style your hair is quite relaxing. If only that dreaded inner pressure to chat with someone didn't rear its ugly head.

Ruby1 · #17 27th February 2010, 21:48

I've stopped trying to hide the fact i obviously don't like it...my hairdresser is the same one i've had for ten years and i still hate it, never got used to it ...I currently resemble a vagabond as i keep putting it off, the worst part is when everyone in the room, hairdressers, customers, blue bottle flies all start to join in the same convo...i always give Justine a £5 tip for putting up with me and then breath a huge sigh of relief when i make it out alive!

It's werd cause she's told me all her personal stuff, like when her hubby left her etc...i still can't feel close to her even after all this time...

LonelyOnTheInside · #18 27th February 2010, 21:55

After shaving my hair for a long time and then started to grow it, I never thought about the trauma of visiting a salon to get it cut properly!

I cut it myself for a while (and never buggered it up

) and then I decided to face my fear full-on......I booked into a new swanky (and bloody expensive) salon to get it done!

The appointment was after work, and all day I was thinking of cancelling..but I went, and guess what, it wasn't as bad as I had thought.
Obviously the place was full of stunningly beautiful people and I felt like a freak - I expected that, but the girl doing me was really nice and we ended up having a laugh at a few things. That was a month ago and now I'm going back on Monday....I actually feel good about it now, as the experience wasn't as bad as I had predicted

Will be my last visit though, I'm going back to shaving it all off soon.......getting bored of maintaining hair lol.

Mark_One · #19 27th February 2010, 21:58

Ive been so upset just by the thought and process of making an appointment at a proper hairdresser, never mind venturing into one! Although there is still Supercuts which someone mentioned earlier on in the thread where you can just walk in.

My plan was to pay more and have a genuine decent cut on the hair Ive got (minus a few hairs which are missing somewhere!) with the hope of raising my opinion of myself. This is instead of paying £7.00 at the barber I have usually gone to only for her to make it even worse than what it already is.

LonelyOnTheInside · #20 27th February 2010, 22:03

Seriously, if you can conquer the fear of getting an appointment and actually going, I think you'll be so happy you did.

I felt the same, but I'm so glad I went through with it....if you go somewhere decent, they'll take the time to listen to what you want, and not just give you a generic cut.

Oh, and it really does give you a boost

xkayx · #21 27th February 2010, 22:04

I've bin a hairdresser for 4 years and I have SA along with agoraphobia and the best piece of advice I can give u from my experience is find a small quiet salon to begin with they tend to be alot calmer and they have time to genuinly listen to you the problem with the big fancy places is they have no time for you or interest in you and are not worth playing a fortune to.

no0ne · #22 27th February 2010, 22:04

especially for you

-

http://www.mark-one-hairdressing.co.uk/

Mark_One · #23 28th February 2010, 08:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by yampug

especially for you

-

http://www.mark-one-hairdressing.co.uk/

Wow! Thank you lol. At least I should feel at ease going there!

[MiffyKoala] · #24 28th February 2010, 09:30

When i first went to go in supercuts.. i got my bro to drop me off in town. all the way down i was worrying about it and trying to tell myself to calm down and just do it...

When i got there i could see supercuts from about 10 feet away.. i walked up to the window and looked at the prices and looked in and it was really empty so i just walked in and i felt alot better after just getting in there

The rest just seemed to flow after and i felt great after

britman · #25 1st March 2010, 06:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by xkayx

I've bin a hairdresser for 4 years and I have SA along with agoraphobia and the best piece of advice I can give u from my experience is find a small quiet salon to begin with they tend to be alot calmer and they have time to genuinly listen to you the problem with the big fancy places is they have no time for you or interest in you and are not worth playing a fortune to.

hmmm toni & guy rings a bell lol, swear they dont listen and tend to do what they thinks looks good

avoider · #26 2nd March 2010, 12:48

I,ve had this phobia all my life..For years I used to travel 30 miles to another town as it was the only place I felt moderately comfortable enough to get a haircut!..I used to keep walking past the shop and wait until there was hardly anybody in there before I myself could go in..I used to not go for months and would get sarcy comments from the staff due tio the state of my hair!!..couldn't blame them to be honest!!..Also there was a row of seats to the back of where the cutting took place so when I looked in the mirror I could see all the people looking at the back of me!!..which made me so tense..There was one time though when no other customers came in the shop and I actually felt relaxed enough to talk to the hairdresser..Problem has now been solved through buying my own clippers!..Just the thought of walking in and also the smell of shampoo you get as you enter..uuurrrgggghhh!

karl-32 · #27 2nd March 2010, 13:46

hi people

yes i do get affected by this , in fact i have not been to a hair dressers or barbers now for 14 years and i dont think i ever will . the whole thing would be an ordeal from booking an appointment to waiting in the waiting room to whoever was cutting my hair either trying to talk to me or thinking things about me while they are doing it . i wouldnt even know what to say when they ask what i needed doing

i own a set of clippers and just shave it off myself

Mark_One · #28 2nd March 2010, 14:55

Its very interesting to read your views on this haircut anxiety thing. I would have never thought there would be so many people feeling similar.

Ive sort of made progress since my last post as Im having it cut this Friday at a hairdresser/barber unisex mixed sort of place and booked the day off work to give me some incentive to go. No appointment required as I rang them last night - sort of on the same basis as Supercuts and I am having a proper salon cut there. However, it is purposely on the other side of the city (so no chance of anyone I know seeing me

) and I know the area fairly well.

[MiffyKoala] · #29 2nd March 2010, 15:14

Well done

It will all go fine i promise

Try to think of it as.. well, what it is.. you're getting a nice haircut

GoldFish · #30 3rd March 2010, 07:05

the last few times i went the conversation was really awkward because there were a few times where i mumbled and looked a bit serious when i spoke, but the few times before were alright!

even though i go along i still find it a very nervous experience, i think if you are good at talking around family and you're a fun energetic conversationalist then its just exposure that'll make it easier for you to open up...