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  #1  
Old 5th October 2015, 17:45
abc abc is offline
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Default Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Anyone else been diagnosed with this?

I was diagnosed with it last year, but have been experiencing symptoms since my late teens. In fact I would say that most, if not all, the anxiety I experience in social situations is due to the way I perceive how I look.

Any ideas on treatments etc? Personally although I found cbt immensely helpful in overcoming my social anxiety, I've found the techniques pretty usless when trying to tackle BDD-related thoughts.
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  #2  
Old 5th October 2015, 17:48
Nostracarmus Nostracarmus is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I have it, I'm a skinny person by nature, always think I look skinnier than I am and have been trying unsuccessfully to gain weight for the last 12 years. I've stayed 140lbs the whole time.

No idea what to do with it to be honest, I've just gotten used to it.
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  #3  
Old 5th October 2015, 19:40
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I was told I have this, too-- but in my case, I feel as if it was a bit of a cop out of a diagnosis-- a label given to delude myself and make me feel better about my ugliness. Some people are just conventionally unattractive. The sooner I accept this, the better. Can a conventionally ugly person have BDD? I don't know. Enlighten me, folks.

I don't mean ANY disrespect by what I said, by the way. These are just my thoughts on my own experiences.

Much love to you all x
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  #4  
Old 5th October 2015, 23:48
kirbycrackle kirbycrackle is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Yep. Yep. Yep.
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  #5  
Old 5th October 2015, 23:54
MLP James MLP James is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not sure if this could apply to me. I do sometimes feel like my appearance is just wrong somehow. I'm very insecure about how I look, but that's mostly based on specific things, and I feel like my insecurity would mostly go away if I could fix those things. Still there is that feeling that I just don't look right, so I don't know.
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  #6  
Old 6th October 2015, 00:26
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyra Silvertongue
I have this too. I have the same feeling that my face just looks "wrong".
I feel like I'm much less attractive than everybody else, to the point where I feel like people stare at me on the street because I'm so ugly. I'm really sensitive when it comes to comments about appearance. I get jealous whenever I hear someone else being complimented because I wish I looked like them yet whenever someone compliments me I just instantly don't believe it. It's not great.
This is pretty much me.


I've made some big improvements in the last year or so though. While I do have mostly same worries and experience the odd off moments, I'm no longer constantly preoccupied with thoughts about my appearance, and worry about others' evaluations of it to a lesser extent. It would be facile of me to claim that any one factor has contributed to this improvement, though one thing that I believe has accompanied it is a greater sense of 'owning' my appearance, which sounds horribly seventies' self-help, but does seem to characterise the relationship I now have with this fleshy, calico husk I carry about. I think that's probably involved acknowledging that there are aspects of my appearance that aren't the way I'd like them to be (far from it, in most respects), while learning to accept them as they are and coming to realise that just because I don't like them it doesn't mean others won't, with a dash of: no-one's going to tell me who I am or can be based on the random genetic shuffling that's for the most part produced my particular facial topography.
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  #7  
Old 7th October 2015, 22:45
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Yep. And I believe it's quite common (at least for those who struggle with this sort of thing). I reckon it's probably the case that everyone's face can look different under different conditions, but it's those that are particularly concerned with their appearance who are more keenly aware of it.
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  #8  
Old 7th October 2015, 23:34
Oddity Oddity is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm the same. I also feel like people won't recognise me, because I don't look like anyone, or people have to get a good look to figure my face out.

This thread as me wondering.
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  #9  
Old 8th October 2015, 18:01
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
Does anyone else feel like they sort of morph into different faces?
Oh, yes. The deceptively slimming mirrors and clever lighting in dressing rooms make me feel like a goddess..then I take a look at myself in natural daylight and I feel repulsive. Misleading? I think so!

There have been a few occasions when I'm looking at myself in the mirror (totally sober, I promise) and just for a moment, I'm convinced I could play a Dornish girl in Game of Thrones. I feel gorgeous. Then, suddenly, I feel like Brienne of Tarth.

Meh.
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  #10  
Old 8th October 2015, 18:08
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I have been told I have this, but some people just are ugly, no point in telling them they have BDD. I don't have it I'm just not good looking.
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  #11  
Old 8th October 2015, 21:08
Abigail Hobbs Abigail Hobbs is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsJones
Oh, yes. The deceptively slimming mirrors and clever lighting in dressing rooms make me feel like a goddess..then I take a look at myself in natural daylight and I feel repulsive. Misleading? I think so!

There have been a few occasions when I'm looking at myself in the mirror (totally sober, I promise) and just for a moment, I'm convinced I could play a Dornish girl in Game of Thrones. I feel gorgeous. Then, suddenly, I feel like Brienne of Tarth.

Meh.
Same here. I go from thinking I'm really beautiful to thinking I'm hideously ugly. There's no in between.
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  #12  
Old 8th October 2015, 23:26
Alf in Pog Form Alf in Pog Form is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think I can be attractive, but my skin lets me down. Always has. I'm 27 now, but I still have the complexion of a teenager. Just pores and red marks and general shit everywhere. I get so focused on it sometimes I wonder if it really is as bad as it really is and I'd just focus on something else. Meanwhile, my physique is one of a twig, and on me it's ugly no matter what spin I put on it.

On the plus side I accept my obvious failings a lot more now. I'm more successful these days about going about my life and putting to the back of my mind that I look like scum.
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  #13  
Old 8th October 2015, 23:52
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I probably had BDD when I was younger - I couldn't look at my reflection without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I was just ugly. I 'fixed' my teeth, my skin, my hair and my dress sense. I learnt to accept my crooked nose. My two younger sisters might've had BDD-like issues too, they've both had nose jobs. I do think it was a lot to do with us being so alien looking and not fitting in (we're 2nd gen immigrants).
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  #14  
Old 9th October 2015, 17:11
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I met a nurse today who said she had BDD in the dy rehab centre, but she was just not good looking.
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  #15  
Old 9th October 2015, 19:34
Alf in Pog Form Alf in Pog Form is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
I probably had BDD when I was younger - I couldn't look at my reflection without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I was just ugly. I 'fixed' my teeth, my skin, my hair and my dress sense. I learnt to accept my crooked nose. My two younger sisters might've had BDD-like issues too, they've both had nose jobs. I do think it was a lot to do with us being so alien looking and not fitting in (we're 2nd gen immigrants).
I had this too (but not anymore). I was so disgusted about my skin and my general appearance that I avoided looking at myself in any way. It was just my only escape tbh, ignorance is bliss etc. I would only shave in the dark and when my reflection was just a silhouette. I became pretty good at blind shaving after a while
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  #16  
Old 9th October 2015, 19:47
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

i hate BDD, just no escape from it.
i love bodybuilding and whenever i look and feel great i can't help but compare myself to pro bodybuilders and it immediately puts me down, can never be content or happy.

facially? im the polar opposite to what most of society would find appealing.
probably why i love bodybuilding so much, at least i can be the polar opposite totally and take it to the extremes.
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  #17  
Old 9th October 2015, 20:33
Xithium Xithium is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
----------

Does anyone else feel like they sort of morph into different faces? I feel like I look different in every mirror and every photograph. I'm not sure how to explain that properly. I don't mean that in one mirror I have short blonde hair and the next I have long brown hair. It's not massive differences, but to the point where I feel like I'm not sure what I really look like.

Some photos look okay, but I think that they are photos that don't really look like what I look like. I believe the ones that are awful do look like me.
Yes! I rarely come across anyone who knows what I'm talking about when I try to describe noticing this. I feel like I resemble completely different people, depending on what mirror I look in or photograph I see, to the point where I'm not really sure what I look like. Just when I thought I was doing better, too, with accepting myself, I've recently had to sit and stare at myself in the mirror at the hairdressers which pretty much brought me thudding back down to earth. What I see in those kinds of mirrors is nothing like what I see when I look into the mirrors in my house. Though I'm too embarrassed to show anyone to prove what I'm saying, I also have actual photographs of myself that differ so considerably from each other or to what I see in the mirror that it's absolutely baffling.

How can that be? I realise lighting has an effect, with fluorescent and bright overhead lighting bringing out everybody's flaws, but surely it can't make that much of a difference? I'm worried I'm just stubborn and in denial about my appearance, as in... I want to believe I truly look more like the less repulsive me that I see when I look into mirrors in flattering lighting, so am continuously horrified when I see myself in more 'accurate' situations. Maybe I just have an odd face that catches the light in funny ways? I know my badly textured skin varies widely in its appearance depending on what lighting I'm stood in - in dimly lit places it's sometimes not even noticeable, yet in others I can resemble Freddy Krueger. It's pretty distressing and anxiety-inducing. And when I've tried to explain to someone before what I experience, they just acted like I was crazy. I suspect they probably were just used to seeing me as the 'worst' version of myself I'd seen, whereas I've always been in denial about looking like that, so any 'difference' was only noticeable to me. That's still a rather scary thought.
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  #18  
Old 14th October 2015, 10:12
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

i won't paint all women with the same brush, because as generic as it sounds, people are different!
but i think you're probably right, most women probably would prefer that look just like most men would prefer women with a certain look - this is why i don't judge anyone by their looks, because it's something we have no control over!

the amount of times attractive women or men get an undeserved opportunity over someone less attractive is just frustrating for me to see.

looks, height, facial structure is all a genetic lottery. no control over it yet we get judged on it so frequently. not by everyone but by a lot of people.

but one thing you can definitely control bud, and that's your physique! (and character of course!)
you can control and influence those greatly,
if you're unhappy with your body you can change it's composition...massively!

a short guy can look more aesthetically appealing than someone taller if you know what you're doing.
some of the best phyisques to have walked this planet have been circa 5'7
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  #19  
Old 14th October 2015, 12:50
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by goku
i won't paint all women with the same brush, because as generic as it sounds, people are different!

the amount of times attractive women or men get an undeserved opportunity over someone less attractive is just frustrating for me to see.
Hear, hear!
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  #20  
Old 16th October 2015, 20:41
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I don't understand BDD.

I don't know if I have it or not.

Sometimes I think I look alright, but there are things about my appearance that I don't like and these things are not in my head and have affected my life negatively.

I see people here, very good looking people who are told time and time again by other very good looking people, and not so good looking people, that they are very good looking, but won't accept it because they see a distorted image of themselves.

But surely, there must come a point when they accept what every single person us telling them, and not the image they see?

I've read that BDD is about seeing a distorted image of yourself looking back at you, and also that BDD is obsessing about body parts, facial features etc that don't look distorted.

One of the things I hate about myself are my ears. I've never seen anyone with ears like mine, they are unique lol, and no end of ***** took the piss out of them growing up. I know I'm not seeing a distorted image of them for instance.

However, sometimes I look at my face and think I look good, and other's I think I look weird, but I don't see a distorted, twisted monster looking back at me like some people claim to see.
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  #21  
Old 17th October 2015, 19:20
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

What criticism have you had mate because I've seen a picture of you before and a couple of partial pics and you look fine.
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  #22  
Old 18th October 2015, 00:25
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cairn
I don't understand BDD.

I don't know if I have it or not.

Sometimes I think I look alright, but there are things about my appearance that I don't like and these things are not in my head and have affected my life negatively.

I see people here, very good looking people who are told time and time again by other very good looking people, and not so good looking people, that they are very good looking, but won't accept it because they see a distorted image of themselves.

But surely, there must come a point when they accept what every single person us telling them, and not the image they see?

I've read that BDD is about seeing a distorted image of yourself looking back at you, and also that BDD is obsessing about body parts, facial features etc that don't look distorted.

One of the things I hate about myself are my ears. I've never seen anyone with ears like mine, they are unique lol, and no end of ***** took the piss out of them growing up. I know I'm not seeing a distorted image of them for instance.

However, sometimes I look at my face and think I look good, and other's I think I look weird, but I don't see a distorted, twisted monster looking back at me like some people claim to see.
i think you're right about a distorted image, that's my view of BDD.
seeing things which are unrealistic, a very lean person thinking they look fat, maybe from a distorted reflection and keeping that image in their head.
i've got over mine to a certain extent but i feel small all the time, its something that probably will never leave but at least we can get some form of control over it maybe?

people who are unhappy with their body image when there's actually reason to be unhappy and they're not creating a distorted view, imo that's not BDD and i get annoyed when people think it is. it's not, they're just unhappy with reality, they're not creating a false reality.

it skews the condition for people with actual BDD, which angers me to be quite honest because they put they put their bodies through extremes while the people who don't suffer actual BDD don't, yet they think they suffer the same pitfalls.
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  #23  
Old 18th October 2015, 16:06
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I believe, at least in some cases, there is a biological aspect to this condition akin to OCD. Its an inability to cope with uncertainty. Each look in the mirror may produce a different result, so the sufferer copes by engaging in the ritual of repeated looking in an attempt to reassure themselves. You never really get there and, even if you do, its only ever temporary. In my experience, I firstly accepted the thing(s) I didn't like myself (counter-intuitive) and then began preventing this cycle. It did feel like a weight off my shoulders and giving the mind a bit of space helps it gain perspective.
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  #24  
Old 18th October 2015, 22:57
goku goku is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abc
That sounds more like insecurity than BDD. I can only speak for myself, but there is no uncertainty where I am concerned. I am confident that I look a certain way. I feel that my features look different at times, but they always look distorted.

I'm not sure what I can accept about myself, as my perception is supposedly distorted and I don't know what I really look like. I've already accepted myself as an ugly bastard, but that is supposedly unhealthy.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder mate,
who made the rulebook on what's beautiful/ugly anyway?
women who i find beautiful, most people i know find unattractive and most women they find beautiful, i find unattractive.
probably psychological too.
but i don't think it's unhealthy at all to have accepted your flaws (if they're flaws at all) but even better is to be unrestricted by them and not place emphasis on them or on peoples' meaningless opinions of them.

one thing i've learnt recently (wish i did a lot sooner!) is that peoples' opinions mean absolutely SOD.ALL.
most people are sheep.
this mindset has helped my anxiety quite a bit.
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  #25  
Old 18th October 2015, 23:13
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by abc
I don't want to derail the thread too much, but nothing specific, just generally comments about me being ugly/a minger (god I hate that word.) To be fair most of the comments were during my teenage years. I was a figure of ridicule amongst the girls at school. I never really got any grief off lads though.
I had this, and I'm certain it's why I struggle with women, although comments about me were specific to certain facial features. I was bullied by one boy, but that was because I made him look like a bitch in front of his mates.

(I don't think I have BDD, though, just insecurity)
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  #26  
Old 19th October 2015, 10:36
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by goku
beauty is in the eye of the beholder mate,
who made the rulebook on what's beautiful/ugly anyway?
women who i find beautiful, most people i know find unattractive and most women they find beautiful, i find unattractive.
probably psychological too.
but i don't think it's unhealthy at all to have accepted your flaws (if they're flaws at all) but even better is to be unrestricted by them and not place emphasis on them or on peoples' meaningless opinions of them.

one thing i've learnt recently (wish i did a lot sooner!) is that peoples' opinions mean absolutely SOD.ALL.
most people are sheep.
this mindset has helped my anxiety quite a bit.
Yes, I agree with this. What people say and what is reality are often two different things. Though, of course, if someone slandered my appearance I would feel pretty sad about it.
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  #27  
Old 19th October 2015, 10:38
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or
I was ridiculed all through school and told almost daily that I was ugly and weird. It can do a massive amount of damage to someone already overly sensitive. Those are the words that are imprinted on my brain to this day. Compliments don't register because I grew up to believe that I'm a freak and a freak is all I can see when I look at myself. I spent years believing that if I could look normal I would be happy and people would like me. No amount of makeup or hair dye made any difference though. Much of my late teens and early twenties was spent crying in front of mirrors. I made a couple of half-arsed suicide attempts because the shame of being me was unbearable.
When I accepted that I couldn't do anything about it I became reclusive instead, so that nobody would have to see me.
I'm real sorry to hear this. You're not alone.
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  #28  
Old 19th October 2015, 16:26
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or
I was ridiculed all through school and told almost daily that I was ugly and weird. It can do a massive amount of damage to someone already overly sensitive. Those are the words that are imprinted on my brain to this day. Compliments don't register because I grew up to believe that I'm a freak and a freak is all I can see when I look at myself. I spent years believing that if I could look normal I would be happy and people would like me. No amount of makeup or hair dye made any difference though. Much of my late teens and early twenties was spent crying in front of mirrors. I made a couple of half-arsed suicide attempts because the shame of being me was unbearable.
When I accepted that I couldn't do anything about it I became reclusive instead, so that nobody would have to see me.

The key words in your post are "overly sensitive".

I wonder how many people bullied you?

I guess it was like a handful of jealous girl bullies tops, like a gang, and you focused on there lies when they told you you were ugly.

Maybe they thought you were weird more than ugly because of your natural quietness, but you focused on the ugly word more than the weird word.

You must have had lots of guy's tell you you were good looking at the same time you were being bullied. You did end up having kids as a young woman and have had relationships since, and get told all the time here how good looking you are and how young you look for your age.

I felt the same as you and hid away, feeling like a freak, because people always took the piss out of specific features, which are real, and not in my head.

So I ended up obsessing about these features, and that brings me back to maybe two forms of BDD, where you see a distorted image of yourself, or obsess over features that do stand out, or obsess over features that don't stand out no where near as much as you think.

I just know that if I was better looking I wouldn't be on here now and would have experienced life and love together, instead of bloody hiding away and and being alone for my entire adult life.

It's hard when you come on a site like this, and reach our age (I'm a year younger than you) and you've just had no social life at all really for nearly two decades.

You just feel like you're at the bottom of the barrel amongst your own people and like you've gone ****ing mad.
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  #29  
Old 19th October 2015, 19:07
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or
It was girls and boys. One incident I remember the most painfully involved boys I'd never seen before from another school when I was walking home alone, one shouted "Jesus, you're ugly!" Then they all gathered around me laughing and making horrible comments about how I looked and wouldn't let me pass. I remember getting home and just wishing so hard that I could die.
I know they were just ***** who would've forgotten all about it within a week. I know that plenty of people would've brushed it off. I never could forget those feelings though.
Yeah I've had relationships, my first was mentally very abusive which really didn't help my self esteem. Since then I've been in love with good people who have told me I'm beautiful, it's like it's too late to make a difference though, I don't know how to believe anything good about myself and it's usually my insecurities that destroy things.
I think with you, you really need to do something challenging and character building to make you feel proud of yourself, because I suppose at the end of the day it doesn't mean shit what other people say to you, if you aren't happy with yourself.

I've started going hiking and camping and it's bloody hard work and character building, and you end up interacting with loads of strangers.

I find people coming up to me for general chit chat, advice, and even myself going up to others and asking them things or helping them out, or just being interested and curious in what they've been up

Public transport of all kinds is a breeze to me now, eating out, going into strange pubs at night etc

When your doing hard exercise and freezing your tits off on mountains it sort of makes you stronger and anxiety goes out of the window, and then you feel relaxed when you get back to civilization and have to do all the modern world stuff again. In fact it's nice to go around the city and indulge in modern comforts without being paranoid and nervous.

So that's what's helping me now, and i'm a world away from the person who spent years hiding away, afraid of the window cleaner etc seeing me. lol

Still got a huge fear of trying to actually really get to know someone in person though, and trying to maintain it.
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  #30  
Old 19th October 2015, 22:30
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I agree with everything biscuits has said xx
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