Zoning out in conversations

[Clive]

Hello,

Does anone ever "zone out" when someone is talking to you? I have trouble staying focused, and often find my mind drifts mid-converstation, usually only momentariy, but then I realise I haven't taken in what the other person has said. I'll nod and go "mmm" and "yeah", but sometimes my mind is elsewhere!

If anyone has any advice, or knows of any ways of becoming more focused then please let me know, as this is causing some fairly significant issues in my relationship with my fiancée.

[girlinterrupted]

I do this a lot,and then tend to jolt back into the conversation with the person looking at me expectantly while I have no idea what response is appropriate Another thing is after I`ve finished zoning out I`ll be internally questioning whether someone/I did just actually say that out loud(w/e it is) or if it was part of the daydream.
Stress or tiredness can affect concentration I think so maybe if it`s that casuing it try and make sure you get more sleep,deal with the stress etc? Other than that I`d be interested in any tips anyone has too!

[Clive]

Thanks for the replies.

I've just found this...

http://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000005.htm

Would be interested to know what people think of the exercises, and if anyone can actually do any of them. Some of the ones towards the end seem insanely difficult!

[i_like_mittens]

I do this all the time too. Especially if I'm tired, if there are a lot of people involved in the conversation, too much noise or too much going on around me.

Exercising regularly (feel more alert / better concentration) helps me. Also, when I notice that I start losing track of conversations in social situations, taking breaks from time to time to clear my mind helps a bit. Other than that... I don't really have any amazing advice unfortunately.

Originally Posted by Clive

I've just found this...

http://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000005.htm

These exercises seem quite interesting. I have concentration issues and tried meditating / the thinking of nothing exercise before but it was too difficult so I gave up pretty quickly.

These exercises aim to train you gradually so it makes more sense to me. I'll try them.

[Grogoch]

Originally Posted by i_like_mittens

if there are a lot of people involved in the conversation, too much noise or too much going on around me.

I find this too, my brain overloads and shuts down, and then I snap back and think 'oh no no no, where did I go' and get all confused trying to suss out where the conversation went whilst my brain was Awol.
I have no tips :/ but i'll keep an eye on this thread for any given!

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I'm the same, an undesirable quality when trying to approach women.

(I sometimes wonder if it's possible to attract someone without saying a word?)

[diplodocus]

Massive problem for me. I don't even realise it's happening. Worst thing is it can make me really self-conscious when it happens and it's not particular congruent with how I'm acting most of the time. One thing I do notice though is that if I'm really relaxed and feeling very unself-conscious it tends not to happen. Say I'm in a really good mood, having a great time, laughing and joking. Well it never happens during those times. I think it's about living in the moment.

The minute I start to get distracted by anything else, be it the surrounding environment, my own thoughts well that's when it can happen. How to stop it? I don't really know because if I knew how to be in a good mood all the time I'd be a billionaire by now.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

I'm the same, an undesirable quality when trying to approach women.

I agree, nothing communicates 'oddness' better than drifting off like that for no apparent reason especially if it doesn't fit with the way you have been acting. If you come across as a vacant stoner all the time then it would fit and wouldn't seem odd.

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

(I sometimes wonder if it's possible to attract someone without saying a word?)

Yes it most definitely is. However, I'd say it's more likely harder to do than using words! It's all down to body language. Paradoxically, getting better at being able to be more attractive using just body language would improve your chances with words considerably, in fact I'd say it's more important than the words themselves. It's harder in my view though because really subtle signs can be read through body language and it can be harder to control and monitor than the spoken word.

[Schmutz]

i do this so often for a split second and as soon as i realise i have done it i feel guilty and i start worrying if anyone around is looking at me (us) or if im looking like im not paying attention, then i can begin to fidget and the other person looks around or looks at me funny, then i get more paranoid that they are annoyed with me, fidget more, then they do get annoyed, ask whats wrong and i just want to cry

Horrible horrible evil circle of stupid brain thoughts.