How many of us over 30's stay at home?

muzakgal · #1 20th November 2006, 22:36

Apart from me, I'm curious, how many of you over 30's stay at home instead of working? because of SA or family?

rose · #2 21st November 2006, 09:55

I live with my friend in his house and currently am off work and on benefits due to SA/Depression. I'm 30.

P74 · #3 21st November 2006, 13:03

I'm 32, unemployed and live at home. I have worked before and have lived on my own so I'm not entirely affected by SA but it does seem to be inhibiting my current efforts to get employment.

#4 21st November 2006, 13:25

Me! entirely SA related.

muzakgal · #5 21st November 2006, 15:27

Does everyone prefer to stay home or do you secretly wish you were well enough to work? I know I get bored sometimes which makes me wishing my SA didn't contribute to me not wanting to work. What do you do to keep busy? Do you see yourself working at some point?

#6 21st November 2006, 21:28

I hate being at home, I would love to be out working, earning some money,feel like I'm contributing to the world. I spend most of my day on this site reading the posts and doing other stuff, housework, watching telly and drawing, not to exciting is it!
I hope one day to be able to go back to work, but what concerns me is the big gaps in my employment record and how I would get over this

BulletproofMarshmallow · #7 22nd November 2006, 11:22

Although I can tell folk an elaborate fiction, I gave up work coz of sa.

My life, as my ex-wife says, became a pantomime with my desperate attempts to cover up and lessen the possible future financial effects of sa.

I have been trying for jobs again and will probably end up lying about my sa as I feel the bias against psycological problems is so great.Any body got experience different.

seasprite · #8 22nd November 2006, 19:35

Ive had jobs too and managed to get there and do the work OK, talking to fellow workers is a different matter though, but I havent quit any due to SA/anxiety.

I tend to get depressed when i go out now, so i end up staying in most of the time.

#9 23rd November 2006, 14:56

I'm 32 and a mummy of 4 kidlings. The thought of having to interact for hours a day in a job well it scares the shit outta me to be honest, since my youngest started school i feel so useless cause i know alot of other parents have part time jobs. The worst part about it is we really need 2 incomes i feel such a massive failure.

Wheelie Bin Bird · #10 23rd November 2006, 15:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruby1

I'm 32 and a mummy of 4 kidlings. The thought of having to interact for hours a day in a job well it scares the shit outta me to be honest, since my youngest started school i feel so useless cause i know alot of other parents have part time jobs. The worst part about it is we really need 2 incomes i feel such a massive failure.

ditto to the letter apart from the fact i'm 29 and only have 2 kidlings.

#11 23rd November 2006, 15:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruby1

The worst part about it is we really need 2 incomes i feel such a massive failure.

Yep I feel exactly the same Ruby

Good to see you posting

#12 23rd November 2006, 15:57

Thanks Shaz

Winnie57 · #13 24th November 2006, 18:29

Jobs don't always mean constant interaction for eight hours or whatever. There are many jobs where you can work on your own for long periods.
I think my present job has given me more confidence and if I didn't go to work I'd be terribly lonely.
Those of you who don't work, I don't think you should give up hope of finding something suitable. I am lucky to work with a nice bunch of people on the whole but it's taken a few jobs to feel comfortable even though I am a bit of an odd-ball and quite aware of this.

#14 1st December 2006, 00:33

Me. I wish I had my own place, but family commitments won't allow it.

joy1112 · #15 18th December 2006, 11:09

Im at home now after 2 years at my last job. The reason for leaving was down to stress and SA. It made each day at work more and more unbareable, although, I do feel the monotomy (sp?) may have also played a part.

Hoping to find another part-time job in the New Year.

Dannysbabe · #16 20th December 2006, 23:00

Hi, I am 39 next Wednesday and have yet to leave home. This is not because I have never wanted to but because I have not had the opportunity. (I always thought I would meet someone and get married etc, etc, but so far it hasnt happened). I am on income support and live with my ageing parents so its not a very ideal situation, I'd love to get married and 'settle down' for instance but so far it hasnt happenend. Mind you, I'm still young...

punkFloyd · #17 29th December 2006, 11:37

I do a lot , coz them people out ther really scare me

fairyfingers · #18 29th December 2006, 13:13

I stay at home and work now, tried the so called 'responsible' things of going to uny and then getting a job, consider it the biggest mistake ever made as sent me cwazy bonkers within 2 yrs ,never again

.

Was not well enough to continue,and had to listen to a lot of static from people about 'getting back to work and not throwing everything away' . To me opting out the rat race is far from throwing anything away ( especially when you got your sanity to consider)so kinda sad some appear see it that way

.

I dont earn a fortune,but am now doing something i really love so am far happier and saner than ever , it does take a lot of discipline and self motivation but the thought of going back out to work for someone else is all the motivation i need

Blueberry · #19 30th December 2006, 16:44

Im 31 and i dont work at the mo. I had years and years of not working and staying at home, due to having kids and mainly due to depression and SA. Then a year and a half a go i got a job working as a support worker for people with mental health problems and was working 24 hour shifts, alone in a house with 10 other people with all kinds of mental health problems. It was great at first i was so chuffed that i 'had' gone out and got a job, but after about 9 months I started to find the job stressfull and started to become depressed, i had to leave the job due to my depression as it got to the point where i'd have rather have killed myself than go back.
I've now not been in work for 9 months and i'm starting to feel a bit better and have started a cbt course and think that in a few months, i will be ready to try and work again, not as job as stressfull and lone working, i fancy being a teaching assistant either in a special school or infant school, but we'll see, i so dont wont to jump in too soon again and think im ready for it when im not.

Cellardweller · #20 30th December 2006, 20:51

I,m over 30, not much

but desided a few weeks ago it was time to get out there.... and now working in a really shit job, with shit wages

but its got to be better then being at home, all alone, (poor me) and suffering with depression and S/A.

bethcharlie · #21 1st January 2007, 21:26

I stay at home due to having 2 kids, the youngest being 2, but trying not to think about when she's at school , and I can then go out to work. before I had my last child I was a part time cleaner, which suited me (but wasn't good for me) cos I didn't have to meet anyone.

Whatawaste · #22 2nd January 2007, 00:44

I stay at home and hide from the world of work, it seems just something that other people do!..

Having said that I've almost skint myself (on purpose really) so it'll hopefully push me into going for something finally.

Part-time and easy will do..dont know where I'm gong to tell them what I've been doing for the last three years mind..

GhostOnMagneticTape · #23 2nd January 2007, 21:46

I stayed at home due to be off sick with depression and anxiety but i managed to attend a local support group on the NHS and do various activities along with counselling (CBT)

Really, staying at home and doing little is the worst thing as I found it just opens the hole up wider and deeper.

nattyone · #24 5th January 2007, 11:42

I stay home , i dont work but i so wish i could but i know for me its just impossible , i have worked in the past and spent a long time getting a job working for a while panniccing breakingdown and running away and never going back . I dont want to do that anymore its no benifit to anyone and i think it just made my problems worse. Im not going to get another job until ive mastered the art of leaving the house and going into town every single day of the week with out getting ill.

bb natty

argetni · #25 7th January 2007, 16:19

I'm 32 - worked consistently for about 8 years and had my own place etc for much of that time. Quit my last job about a year ago after only 6 months - pretty much out of necessity cos I felt like I was losing my mind in the place.
Best thing I coulda done, I think. Just took the time get my head together. It's strange - in that time of being at home and not working, I never felt bored - kinda threw myself into exercise, therapy, research etc etc and felt better than I had in years. Started getting itchy feet then a few months back and felt ready to look for work again - work that I would be comfortable with, this time.
I've managed to find something after a few nerve wracking months of searching, and should hopefully be starting soon. I only found out at the interview that much of it would be homebased initially, which is a bonus I spose in terms of easing back into the workforce.

Just taking time off to stay at home and recharge the batteries over the last year was probably the best decision I've made in a long time.

punkFloyd · #26 10th January 2007, 16:12

I'm extremely lucky in that respect

I manage to have a couple of evenings out a week.
:jumping:

man ... I'd be dead otherwise

OutbackJack · #27 17th January 2007, 11:52

Mostly agoraphobic but i do managed to get to the shop late at night thats it im afraid and Maybe some appt...id love to work.... socialise oj

LickeyEndBlues · #28 18th January 2007, 15:49

I was medically retired a couple of years ago and now no longer work. I am 52. I spend most of my time in the house, I can go out but often choose not to.

I would like to find some sort of work where I can utilise skills I have but still trying to sort my head out!!

hermitude · #29 18th January 2007, 22:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by fairyfingers

I stay at home and work now, tried the so called 'responsible' things of going to uny and then getting a job, consider it the biggest mistake ever made as sent me cwazy bonkers within 2 yrs ,never again

.

Was not well enough to continue,and had to listen to a lot of static from people about 'getting back to work and not throwing everything away' . To me opting out the rat race is far from throwing anything away ( especially when you got your sanity to consider)so kinda sad some appear see it that way

.

I agree with you, fairyfingers. I'm over 30 and have been at home for 4 years now and it's bliss. I've only just stopped having nightmares and flashbacks re my previous place of work. Here at home I can have peace, solitude and freedom from damage. It is heaven

I'm lucky that my OH has a job and, tho we're quite hard up, we manage. Of course we'd be stuck if he lost his job, which is quite likely in today's climate, but then I couldn't get a job now because of the gap in my cv & lack of that awful thing, references

But for now I have my bliss time and home and I make the most of it

whit · #30 25th January 2007, 20:49

i work and always have but find it difficult and would love to stay at home..........but need to work to have a future