#31
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
It's only because people allow it to be out of conditioning and conformity. People are afraid of change... I just find the logic baffling along the lines of "I'm a woman, please come and pester me for sex and/or a relationship".
I may loose the experience of a relationship because I'm reluctant nowadays to make the effort but maybe I find gains in other areas of my life. Relationships are no fairy tale story either, why do so many relationships end up horribly wrong with people (especially children) suffering? Edit - http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...n-7786185.html Quote:
Quote:
|
#32
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
I'm 40 now and never had what I'd call a real first hand relationship, however for the past few months I've been in a pretty intense online relationship with a woman in the USA. I'm actually going over there to visit her in a couple of weeks, it's a bit of a risk I know but I'm prepared to take it and if nothing else I'll hopefully get a nice holiday and not end up in pieces in her refrigerator, "lol".
|
#33
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
Anyone who's ever been in a relationship will know it's not all a bed of roses. I can only speak for myself but some of the lowest points in my life have been as the result of relationships, but more importantly some of the best too. |
#34
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
you better pray to god this girl does not flake but seriously. good luck with it though. hope it works out. i hope you are just as compatible ofline as you are online. |
#35
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#36
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Thought it would be obvious but such as travelling, friendships, independence, freedom. We are conditioned that "relationships" are everything and the only thing we need.
I'm sure some people have had fulfilling and enlightening lives with out relationships. |
#37
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
How do you equate having a relationship leads to travelling, friendships, independence and freedom? If I'm understanding the point you made above correctly. |
#38
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#39
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
I think you are reading into too much in that you for some reason kinda feel forced or be told what to do but tbh i dont think we are 'conditioned' that relationships are everything. Its just that people want them cos of what they can bring us. Maybe it's fear of rejection as Diplo said that stops you rather than the reason you state maybe, like a defense mechanism. I've done the same also but use other things to put it off, its probably quite common for SA ppl. |
#40
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#41
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
I met the most wonderful woman I've ever known, we lasted until 2007, I moved to Toronto for a few years but the weather was just too extreme and I was having CH every single day, made life unbearable so I had to come back. We are still the best of friends and will continue to be. I wish you all the very best, it can work and I hope it does for you. |
#42
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
So if I make a move on this certain woman I talked about on page 2 and we start dating etc.. What do I do when she asks about my friends or asks me why I am not going out this Saturday night?
I say "oh, I don't really have any close friends." And what, she'll say "oh that's okay, that's totally not going to send alarm bells off in my head".. LOL. There is just not a way around that and that's why I never get anything other than crappy one nighters. Just not point going through the pain. |
#43
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#44
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Friends aren't a status symbol, they're optional too...
|
#45
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#46
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
^
All good advice and if you really want friends, you have loads of them on here, just say you're having a natter with your mates. I'm quite sure you wouldn't be the first to do that... |
#47
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
As I said before, I just find some men's logic baffling along the lines of towards women as "I'm a woman, please come and pester me for sex and/or a relationship in public". Sexual harassment towards women has always been a problem and seemingly is on the increase... I'm just (feebly) trying to advocate a fine balance between the sexes when it comes to indicating an interest in one another. |
#48
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
something i've noticed looking on pof is a large number of girls profiles state that they want some one sociable, now why would they be stating this? could it be because the last bloke they went out with wasn't that fussed on socialising either? could it be that it isn't just sa blokes that can't be arsed with being overly sociable? |
#49
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Not fully given up yet but losing more and more hope with every passing year that Ill meet someone. Im constantly sending out messages on pof and other dating sites Im on but rarely get a response and those that do message back usually fade pretty quickly. The main problem is Im not the most impressive guy to look at and dont immediately open up to someone when meeting new people which are important ingredients in the dating world.
Quote:
Regarding girls wanting someone sociable its likely they want someone to do all the work for them in the relationship like come up with ideas for places to go and things to together cos theyre too bone idle to come up with their own ideas. Ive already been in one relationship where my gf pretty much took a backseat and expected me to keep the relationship ticking over. The next potential partner (should I be lucky enough to meet another) Will have to be a bit more forward with her own ideas cos I refuse to go through all that again. |
#50
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
I think girl's think they want this outgoing, social butterfly but actually quite a lot, deep down, would like someone who while is happy to go out with them when they want, is quite happy to stay at home a lot of the time and they don't have to worry about going off clubbing alone and getting drunk and encouraged by their mates to stray etc. But saying you want someone who's not outgoing, just makes you sound like a bunny boiler so they end up being like cattle and putting the obvious traits everyone suppoedly likes in people.
|
#51
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
|
#52
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
Approaching people of the opposite sex that you find attractive doesn't have to be creepy or desperate, in fact that type of approach is the exact opposite of what works! Some use the pester approach, and it may work for them with some women but on the whole they are the ones losing out. And women believe or not don't want someone who acts like an A-hole as you put it and puts them on a pedestal. There are a few like that but many more who aren't. |
#53
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
^ i think what i was trying to say in my usual arse about tit way is "out there there is someone for everyone so you shouldn't have to hide who you are" it'll only come back and bite you in the arse later on.
|
#54
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
Quote:
|
#56
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
(Joke). |
#57
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Not so much 'given up' as come to the realisation that being single is preferable.
|
#58
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
It probably doesn't help that the girls I'm attracted to are always really popular and sociable. |
#59
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
Quote:
Quote:
|
#60
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Relationships - anyone given up?
I don't think you can hide the fact that you aren't very sociable. I mean as soon as someone gets to know you, it becomes obvious, right?
|