Has anyone ever used meetup.com?

[Matt101]

I'm thinking about starting a group on there, just wondered if any one had been to meetup on there and if it's any good. Seems a good way to meet people.

[diplodocus]

Sort of similar but went to a citysocialising event. Was surprisingly good considering their were only 5 of us there! Everyone was very open and friendly. Think it would be better in a bigger town or city (heard you get London ones with 100's attending)

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by SambaBus

No, but I've had a look on the site and there are no active SA or shyness related groups in my area (Oxfordshire).
I've not even considered going to "normal" people meets as I will probably be the odd one out as usual.

I doubt you would and tbh you can't expect to not feel the odd one out at a SA based meet as the ones i been to you of get a varied mix of ppl some quiet, some louder etc. Obviously they are easier for SA folk to attend to but not a gurantee that you will not feel uncomfortable/odd one out but i think that is down to the individual and how they flourish and used to that type of environment rather than the other people attending i.e ignoring them, being nasty etc which hardly ever happens in these sort of scenarios.

Try and not see it as finding a meet where you will fit in more as it will be hard to try and guess what the ppl are like that will attend.
Maybe instead find a meet based on a certain interest which you are familiar with therefore you have something to talk about and feel more connected with the people there.

[Spectrelight]

I have been to a few meetup's and my experiences have been good on the whole. I started using it because I wanted to mix more with people who don't have SA but really it's not that different to when I first started going to meets on here, some people are always going to be more forward than others SA or not. It's a misconception to think that because somebody is 'normal' they are going to be all outgoing and confident with everybody.

I haven't been to enough of them to really get to know anybody so far but I'm going to keep going to them and hopefully make more of an effort to make conversation with people at them in the future. That's the aim at least.

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by SambaBus

You're right but I would have a better chance of fitting in at least and I doubt I would be the only ultra shy person there.
As far as other meets go, I have only one real interest which is football and even with that I doubt I would fit in. When anxiety isn't a problem it's usually the blank mind and having nothing to say that ruins me. You're right though, maybe I should give one a go.

Oh yeah course you may have a better chance of fitting in with others as others will be shy also but then you get non SA ppl who are shy also.
I guess with football (from 1st hand experience) its a very good interest to have as you can chat to another fan about football for ages so if you find a football related group then apart from the anxiety it may be ok chatting to others.

I think give one a go even if its far for you like London but from Oxford its not that far really on the train, about an hr i think.
If i only went to meets near where i live i'd probably have gone to very few rather than quite alot as i had to venture further out but its necessary if you live in a crap area for meets lol. I can't afford to wait for ones to happen near me as it will jusy slow my progression as i would have gone out way less than i have.
You'll get better at the whole chatting to others and nothing to say so it will be hard the first few times you go but if you are seeing the same people it should get easier.

[Maestro]

I've been to a citysocialising meetup. It is wierd at the start - meeting new people. But everyone is in the same position, open and willing to talk. I would say the hardest part is actually finding the courage to go to them. Maybe try one and see how it is.

[DarenA37]

I was given a link to the site by my support worker, but not really look at it yet!

[Vanessa]

I used to be a regular at a small meetup for SA/Shy women, we got together every few months but it was great. I even came up with a lot of activities for the group to do, although when I moved the group disbanded shortly after because it was just too small and irregular, so none of the meets happened . I only had one bad experience, ironically it was one of my ideas, which turned out to be more popular than our usual cafe meets. We went out to a 'brunch' resto, the place was rammed and also 10 ladies showed up to the group (usually it's as low as 4, 7 at most). We got a long table and I was sat in the middle not talking since there were two little groups at either end and everyone had their backs to me.

There was also an SA support group on meetup.com in my city, I went once but didn't like it because most of the people seemed to know each other and were quite chatty, which made me feel like an outsider. Then there were a few people who were pretty 'bad' sa-wise, worse than you'd find at the average SAUK meet. So I had nothing to do really, since I am not as anxious as some but I still need people to talk to me in order to be a bit more engaged.

I was part of a cinema group as well but whenever a meet popped up my bank account was empty, so i eventually gave up.

Anyway, meetup is good, I would recommend trying something you're interestd in.

[choirgirl]

I've considered going to a city socialising group, but everyone on the website who is around my age has a proper career. Chances are they'll tag me as a loser and not bother with me and some will be snide while they're at it. It's one thing putting up with that at social events I can't avoid, but going out of my way to have that experience - not so appealing. The only people my age I know who have non-existent careers are mothers so at least they have an excuse. I have friends with kids, but I want to make some new friends who don't have family ties simply for practical social purposes i.e. going out, having fun on occasion.

[Phool]

Yes in london there is a group called ACT for anxiety which does mindfulness based activities.