Supermarket troubles...

[clyde33]

When i go into a supermarket my mind just goes blank. Completely blank. I end up standing staring at things on shelves for ages, walking around aimlessly then coming out with crap i don't even need just for the sake of buying something as if i walk out empty-handed, they'll think i've stolen something.

Tonight for example, i went to my local small supermarket with the intention of buying a couple of cans of juice and something for my dinner. There were school kids making an awful racket in the doorway, whistling etc and that freaked me out a bit as i had to squeeze past them to get in. Anyway, i couldn't stop at the fruit & veg isle as it was so busy so i went to get some juice. I couldn't make up my mind what i wanted as my whole head just seemed to get brain fog and i didn't know what i wanted. A woman said "excuse me" as i was blocking her way, then i walked into someone when i moved. I ended up leaving the shop with a box of milk tray (which i'm sitting eating for my dinner now) and a lime.

I've tried writing shopping lists but that doesn't really help as there's so much to choose from and i get confused.

Does anyone else feel their mind go completely blank in supermarkets and that you don't know what to buy or even why you're in there in the first place?

I'm ok browsing in clothes shops (to a point) but supermarkets just freak me out and i don't know why this should be??

[redcard]

Have you tried online shopping?

[firemonkey]

When I went in the supermarket to shop I would do so with only a small list of the things needed that immediately came to my mind. Then I would end up getting overwhelmed by the range of things and end up buying stuff I didn't really need due to temptation. It was not so bad with the nearby co op as choice is very limited but with Sainsburys it was .
Waiting in large queues used to throw me especially when I had to pack my stuff. I was acutely aware of the people behind me in the queue and worried about taking too much time. The perverse thing about that was I was all fingers and thumbs and took longer than if I'd not tried to hurry.

[Thunza]

I don't find it hard remembering what to get but do find them a hard place to be in, more so when busy.

Paying can be a difficult part for me, waiting for the card machine. Last time I was in there I must have been so caught up in the self consciousness and anxiety that I wasn't even paying attention properly and the machine had been saying remove card for a while without me even noticing.

Like you I can manage in other shops pretty much fine. I think its just that supermarkets are always so busy, there's always someone coming at you around the corner and having to negotiate around the people (some of who are really fat and seem to always find a way of blocking your path).

[ryan2032]

Going to a supermarket after 8pm is perfect

[Between The Bars]

Originally Posted by redcard

Have you tried online shopping?

This

[Custard_cream]

I go into shops, forget what I have gone in for, buy lots of rubbish and remember on the way home what I went for - I don't go back though.

Hate it when people are stood in front of something I want to pick up, I'll stand there for ages waiting then walk off without what I wanted, because I don't want to say excuse me / speak to the person.

Hate tills, always worry that I am holding people up, worry what the person on the till is thinking, how they think I am weird for not looking at them, worry about packing shopping away and that people are looking at me etc.

I do my weekly shop online now, it's brilliant, the only anxiety involved is answering the door, it's a lot easier than going to the supermarket and you can even change your order if you forget to order something. Morrisons do free delivery.

[Coffee]

Sounds like "dissociation" @Clyde33.

In other words; the mind perceives a risk, and so distances itself from any possible pain in that situation by fogging your perception. It's a bit like the mind suddenly wraps itself in insulation so that the "identity" or "person" at the centre of it is protected from the outside. It will make it very hard to concentrate or think straight in any way.

The key is in changing the perception of risk where rationally you know there is very little, or even that even if there were risk you decide that you still need to be able to function in life.

Avoiding it will make it worse, I'd strongly suggest working out with a therapist exactly what sets you off, be it large areas, large groups, fear of judgement...whatever it may be, and then exposing yourself to it over and over with the support of an expert.

Eventually the dominant belief will shift from being "I always feel and do xyz in these situations" to "I've done abc before and it's totally fine".

In so doing you calm your nervous system right down and your brain will function properly again in that environment.

Best of luck

[redcard]

At least with online shopping you can empty your basket of all the rubbish you've bought without anyone noticing. You don't have to hide it in the freezers before sneaking out.

[clyde33]

Thanks for all the replies. My husband usually goes (or i go with him) to the supermarket for our big shopping so he takes care of that. When i went to the supermarket on Friday there, it was just to get a couple of cans of juice. I think the main things that make me uncomfortable are too many people i don't know, too much choice on offer, plus it's too busy and crushed.

[lone ranger]

I think the best suggestion is trying to go shopping later when it's quieter. That way you don't get as trapped by avoidance like you would shopping online.
As you gradually got better, you could try going at earlier/busier times.

[Stotch]

Originally Posted by clyde33

When i go into a supermarket my mind just goes blank. Completely blank. I end up standing staring at things on shelves for ages, walking around aimlessly then coming out with crap i don't even need just for the sake of buying something as if i walk out empty-handed, they'll think i've stolen something.

Tonight for example, i went to my local small supermarket with the intention of buying a couple of cans of juice and something for my dinner. There were school kids making an awful racket in the doorway, whistling etc and that freaked me out a bit as i had to squeeze past them to get in. Anyway, i couldn't stop at the fruit & veg isle as it was so busy so i went to get some juice. I couldn't make up my mind what i wanted as my whole head just seemed to get brain fog and i didn't know what i wanted. A woman said "excuse me" as i was blocking her way, then i walked into someone when i moved. I ended up leaving the shop with a box of milk tray (which i'm sitting eating for my dinner now) and a lime.

I've tried writing shopping lists but that doesn't really help as there's so much to choose from and i get confused.

Does anyone else feel their mind go completely blank in supermarkets and that you don't know what to buy or even why you're in there in the first place?

I'm ok browsing in clothes shops (to a point) but supermarkets just freak me out and i don't know why this should be??

I appreciate your struggles and this might sound unsympathetic but the bit in bold you wrote is just hilarious.

[BennyB]

Hi Clyde33

I really sympathise with your post. I find it particularly stressful when the cashier scans the items at top speed, causing a pile of items in the bagging area, then asking me for payment / loyalty card, meanwhile I'm flapping with bags that won"t open and generally feeling like a complete knob why can't they just go at a speed that you can keep up with!

[les]

If shopping is so traumatic then shop on line. I usually shop on line once a month for all my bulky or heavy non perishable stuff. and I usually spend enough to get a free delivery.
Failing that I pick a time of day that is cheaper for delivery £2 and that is cheaper than the bus fare or petrol to get to the supermarket.
You should try it, it is so liberating, I only have to carry the stuff from the back door to the fridge/freezer or the pantry and that is all of 3-5 steps.

[You Have 0 New Messages]

I actually enjoy going shopping when the supermarket is particularly quiet, otherwise yeah, hate it. Too many people. Perhaps try going early in the morning, it's usually quietest then.

Also, if you have a smart phone or tablet there are shopping list apps you could try.

[Coffee]

Friday and Saturday nights are good too, everyone is either out getting drunk or in watching xfactor, my local supermarket becomes like a ghost town it's great !

[les]

I tried some late night supermarket shopping last night, and it wasn't a great success and although it was quieter as far as shoppers go, the shop floor was bustling with shop staff filling the shelves. I couldn't get all of what I would usually get and I did note the offers were not available.
I will be doing a smaller shop tomorrow morning as usual in the same supermarket and my next week shop will be on line.

[clyde33]

Ha ha, the Milk Tray and the Lime! I was quite happy i'd unwittingly bought the chocolates though as i enjoyed them. I once came out with only Brillo Pads when i'd gone in to get something for my lunch but panicked because it was so busy.

[endgame]

Ha Ha Ha! (milk tray and a lime )
All my old anxieties revisited.
Of which, I care very little for, now.

Had all the usual feelings of overwhelmedness, and too many people, etc.

These days I quite like it.
Still prefer to go around 7-8pm, when its not entirely quiet, but not heaving busy.
Only ever have a basket. If my basket is full, my shopping trip is over.
If I still need more, tough, I'll come back another day.
I always follow the same route through ALL the aisles, even if I just want a couple of items.

I have no problem buying just one item. Actually, I once bought just milk, and the lady at the checkout said "did you get everything you needed?", (said politely and with a smile), I just said "I am too shattered to look for anything else today, so yes!" with a smile, and it was fine.

I also hate that checkout thing about zipping them through super-quick, and them acting bored as if I am holding them up. Although I do have a habit of putting the items on the conveyor in a preferred order. Big boxy things first, so they go first, and therefore at the bottom of the bag, and then the soft, delicate stuff at the end, so I can pick them up and put them on the top of the shopping bag, so they dont get squashed.
Own up, how many of you are so OCD you do that?

I dont think I come across as tense and scary as I used to, as people do come up to me and ask me to pick something up from a higher shelf for them!

Overall, I like shopping, as its quite good fun, these days. as long as everything goes to plan.

[waine]

Staring at things for ages that's familiar