Embarrassed by night out

[sillypenguin]

So I had my works Christmas night out last night in which I was completely drunk (free drinks vouchers fault....)
But it's not that I'm worried about, it's what I have or haven't said to other people. I'm in a long term relationship but recently I've got quite attached to someone in work (and from what I've witnessed last night he seems to have a few admirers; he is insanely good looking though and I get on with him really well) but apparently I was acting weird towards one of my friends and she kept asking what was wrong and eventually dragged the answer out of me about liking him (she was being a bit agressive about it tbh) what was weird as soon as I said it I got really upset you know as it's making me feel guilty and I was hoping that noone would ever know but yay to alcohol....

But she was not surprised in the slightest and kept saying 'I knew it!' So it's clearly obvious in work. But after this was a bit of a blur as I kept drinking but from my crazy flashbacks I think a few people found out including him....so now I don't know what to say to anyone on Monday, just act like nothing happened? And no I don't know how he feels about me as he was kissing someone else which might of made me more upset....God knows I was soo drunk and acting like a mess but just why??!!

I don't want to compromise my current relationship but I do want to continue being friends with him. Maybe as it's out in the open ill get over him quicker but I have so much dread about work now. I don't have anyway of contacting him so ill need to wait until then to talk to him but I just want to tell him I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure I kept trying to hug him last night too as I woke up I swear I can smell him on me, or maybe I'm just bloody crazy....

Ugh I need to go back to therapy!

[βetty]

My advice is don't talk to him about it, just brazen it out and pretend it never happened. I imagine most other.people will have been drinking so hopefully it won't be a big thing. If anyone says anything just laugh and say yeah I think I had a few too many and brush it off.

[pheys]

lots of alcohol and Christmas party.
it's always gonna cause trouble lol

it happened, it's done now move on.

now sober think about why you attracted to this guy when in a relationship already. is it worth it?

[-Simon-]

Originally Posted by sillypenguin

....so now I don't know what to say to anyone on Monday, just act like nothing happened?

Spot on. As suggested above: Christmas party + alcohol = embarrassment. let the moving on commence.

[BritishPeace]

We all make mistakes, be kind on yourself.

[Z.]

Well, there's nothing you can do now, so just try and move on and go with it, whatever happens.

[Rianne]

Originally Posted by ***946;etty

My advice is don't talk to him about it, just brazen it out and pretend it never happened. I imagine most other.people will have been drinking so hopefully it won't be a big thing. If anyone says anything just laugh and say yeah I think I had a few too many and brush it off.

Sound advice!!!

[sillypenguin]

Originally Posted by pheys

now sober think about why you attracted to this guy when in a relationship already. is it worth it?

I don't want to be there's just something really magnetic that I've felt since he started a few months ago although I've only been speaking to him on a regular basis when I moved desks at work around a month ago. I really like him as a friend and that's all I want this to be but because he's really good looking it's just distracting ha! But I know it's not worth anything more I just wish my drunken brain could of kept that quiet! I'm not going to avoid him but ill just avoid talking about it unless he brings it up in which ill try laugh and shrug it off. Thanks for the replies I'm feeling bit better about it now

[sillypenguin]

Also now that I'm trying to think more logically about this, considering I've been quite bad with anxiety and depressive mood last few weeks, probably shouldn't of been drinking at all. Doesn't alcohol not make you depressed and emotional as it is? I prob intensified this even more than usual :/ no that anyone in my work knows I've been unwell....but now im scared this is in the open too now...I'll never learn eh?

[Gary1987]

The outcome won't be as bad as you think, i had a horrific night back in april which i posted here http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=79064

A bit different to your experience, but like you i was dreading facing people and it was ok in the end.

[Metal Goat]

Everyone in relationships fancies other people. That's normal. I think you should ignore it. If you're confronted about it just say "he's obviously a good looking guy but I have a boyfriend"

When I started reading I was worried you were gonna say you tried to kiss him or something.
It's a bit embarrassing but nothing to worry about. I say pretend it didn't happen and if necessary just play it down, make out it isn't a big deal etc.

I had an embarrassing situation recently where people were talking about someone called Simon at work. I wasn't sure I knew who he was so I said "is that sexy Simon?" (Tall dark handsome typically good looking although tbh not someone I would personally fancy anyway)
Some stupid woman overheard who I assume is actually a 12 year old in an adults body and when the guy came in said "someone in this room thinks you're sexy"

Urgh. I just ignored it, rolled my eyes at her and acted more confident than i was. He knew or was me as I was the only other girl. It worked. He just carried on as if nothing happened, she looked like she had been slapped in the face because of the lack of reaction and afterwards other people who had been in the room commented to me that it was really immature of her and made herself look stupid. I'm married and a fully grown adult so I shouldn't be made to feel weird about commenting that a man is good looking.

[newbs16]

How did you get on today at work?

[sillypenguin]

I got on ok actually thanks
I think people were more drunk than I thought, not like I can remember anyways. The guy in question spoke to me briefly and told me I was dancing with him for a bit, almost fell over and apart from that no much actually happened as far as he could remember, so yay? I mentioned nothing, just asked if he was hungover next day lol. Mind you dancing is fine, when I'm drunk I dance with anyone, I can deal with that. Noone else has said anything apart from I was kinda drunk and staggering about but nothing out if the ordinary. I think I've just overreacted because I couldn't remember anything. But yeah your right I could of tried to kiss him or started crying about my life with him (although I was telling my friend all this apparently ha but she understands where im coming from now with all the stress and crap I'm going through I prob made a bigger deal than what is actually going on IRL) but god the paranoia will teach me to calm down with the shots next time!!

[Z.]

At least you've learned something from this: that SA overreaction is irrational. I think it's quite common for SAers to overanalyse situations, which, to other people, were just trivial situations in the first place, which they hardly thought about, if at all.

[sillypenguin]

Aw Gary, we all do daft things expecially if you were mixing. Were you ok in the end though? It's really easy to get stressed and want to avoid people though, I've done it too many times and seem to be for different reasons. If you got understanding people around you though it makes a difference. I just paniced with this like I usually do but then I always make a big deal about most things whether justified or not

[Gary1987]

Yes it was ok on the end, no one has mentioned it since so live and learn