Hello everyone! Hope the sun is shining where you are - only grey skies here!

[daydreamsandicecreams]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post, please be kind. I'll to keep it short.

I'm from California and mid-last year I moved to the UK where I am going to university. Since mid-last year it has been very difficult everyday to not let things get to my head, to not let S.A get to me (as it always does). It has been roughly 6 months that I have been living here and I feel like I haven't made any friends. The problem with this is that sometimes I tell myself that I don't need friends because I can just learn to be on my own, right? But sometimes I get very lonely. I wish I could pull myself together for even just one night and truly enjoy the company of others. My S.A is the worst when I go out in a group of people. I wish I could just talk to people but I often find myself freeze up or literally FORGET any basic knowledge I have about any subject and ultimately end up feeling like I am just a very boring person.
I don't appreciate this feeling at all because I know I'm not a boring person, I just appear this way and it makes me feel very low because I see other people that thrive and have friendships and I just wonder how they do it? HOW?

In recent days i have told myself that I will just like to do more things that make me happy or at least shift my mindset a bit.
I want to make ceramics but realize I don't have 195.00 pounds at the moment even though I would love it and would probably truly benefit from going to a studio and speaking to people, learning something new.
Similarly, for the gym. But I feel as though I don't have enough confidence to do anything.

I don't have a job at the moment which means I have a very limited amount of money. I was supposed to get a job when I moved here but the people that interviewed me admitted that I just seemed "serious" and "not fun enough" to work at their establishment. This sucked because I am FUN, and I am not a SERIOUS person. I just feel like I don't understand some people sometimes, they have friends who they consider "serious" and that's okay? But newcomers who are "serious" or seem this way are just completely disregarded? Do people not give people a chance? What if the "seriousness" is a result of S.A? What then? How does the person experiencing this S.A feel (me)? I can tell you, I feel worthless and often robbed of life because people aren't willing to be emphatic enough to truly know the "real" me.

Any advice? I'm sorry I'm all over the place. After the 20th of this month I'm supposed to have an interview but I'm deathly afraid the same "you're too serious" will be thrown in my face, leaving me shattered and money-less.

Thank you for any advice, I hope you all are having a wonderful day.

[Spectrelight]

[jd90]

Hello!
So did you explain to them you were just nervous and not serious or did you not get chance to? Maybe at the next place you have the interview at, just say it outright ''damn i'm so nervous'' and mention, maybe in a jokey way about how it makes you come across all serious.
And yeah, jeez, people judge really quickly, you have limited time to make a good impression and show yourself. Also makes you feel under more pressure which just increases the sa!

Anyway you're living in a foreign country and that's a huge thing, so well done for that!

[daydreamsandicecreams]

Hello

[daydreamsandicecreams]

Originally Posted by jd90

Hello!
So did you explain to them you were just nervous and not serious or did you not get chance to? Maybe at the next place you have the interview at, just say it outright ''damn i'm so nervous'' and mention, maybe in a jokey way about how it makes you come across all serious.
And yeah, jeez, people judge really quickly, you have limited time to make a good impression and show yourself. Also makes you feel under more pressure which just increases the sa!

Anyway you're living in a foreign country and that's a huge thing, so well done for that!

Hello there,

I sent them follow up e-mails asking if they would let me work a few days a week and was ignored. Until they sent a messaged asking for my availability so I thought "oh wow, yeah I just might get a chance" but then they ignored me again until a week later I see they post a "we're hiring" post on their instagram ???? So I e-mail them AGAIN saying something like: what went well in the interview? what didn't?
and they replied almost immediately with some passive aggressive e-mail saying my cover letter was great but that they didn't see that version of me in person and that they didn't want anyone like me "serious" working for them because they "value their customers sooooo much". They basically just strung me along and made me feel hopeful and that my e-mails were just getting lost in their sea of e-mails.

^^ sorry this bit is longish^^

Oh and yes I'll try that! I feel like that belief is so far fetched. Like when people immediately accept someone like that's cool but they probably don't suffer from SA whereas people that do will always get the cold shoulder. *sigh*

Thank you