Social media

[Victoriablack]

So, some members of sauk will also be on Facebook and other social media sites. Are they any good for making friends in real life and if so how?

[Mat999]

No, for me it is just another way of staying disconnected. I am too active there and not enough in the real world.

Maybe others have had different experiences.

[Hayman]

The same as above, I'm afraid to say. I have a Facebook account and I can truthfully say it's only served as a tool to further demoralise me and the efforts I've made.

I'm actually on my second account, after closing the original one down almost two years ago. My old one used to have a lot of people I known from school (I'm now 31) and despite trying to interact with them, they basically didn't want to know.

On my current account, the only people I have on there are those I interact face-to-face with on a regular or semi-regular basis. No one else. I thought it would have given me at least some reward for my efforts (i.e - likes and comments) but I'm finding exactly the same problem as above... Only this time it's with people I see most days.

That says a lot to me... It just shows me why I have both Social Anxiety and Depression in the first place.

I'm currently considering closing it down and not bothering with Facebook again. As far as I'm concerned, you have to be a 'social butterfly' on there (someone who already has popularity in real life) in order to make any progress.

[AnnieLu]

I love Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! I have made a couple of friends through social media, though I would've made more if I was more able to go and meet them I think.

I use Facebook to get in touch with friends who have moved away and colleagues I lost touch with, but could easily live without that aspect. I have considered deleting my account many times but would miss the intersection with groups and pages -- I follow many animal rights groups, vegetarian recipes, pages dedicated to animal sanctuaries, endangered animal populations and various local businesses and events. I have learnt so much from reading and researching things people have shared.

Twitter I use to follow my favourite celebs, and a couple of friends who aren't on FB.

And Instagram I use as a photo album and live going beck through it to see where I've been, what I've done and also what my friends are up to. The fitness/food tags are often really interesting and I have discovered a few favourite recipes and inspirational people on there.

I don't see any harm in any social media if you use it the right way

[Eralc]

I'm on my second account with Facebook having deleted the last one years ago. All I have is family on there. No one I know has attempted to find and add me but that's because I always say I only have it to keep in contact with family.

However some of my family members are very active on it documenting every part of their lives. It does make me feel sad I have nothing to contribute except negativity.

I wouldn't use it to meet anyone new on - I have had bad experiences with social media and even posting on here is a risk for me. I have big trust issues.

[Victoriablack]

Thanks for all the replies. Apart from @annielu it seems pretty unpopular.
I don't think it's for me either, I don't think I'd know what to do with it. Feeling pretty lonely right now. I need to make some new friends, yet I don't feel particularly cheerful or up to coping with even small rejections.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

This forum is as social as I get as far as social media is concerned. I know it has a positive side but from what I gather it can also be a rather brutal world too. I know I'm a bit of an old coot, but I'm one of those people who do not want to be found if anyone Googles me. I like my privacy, so posting my life online in a way that I can be identified is not for me. I'm amazed just how much people are willing to give away about themselves on a very public and open platform. Personally, I keep well away from Twitter and Facebook.

[Victoriablack]

^ yeah same here, I have no desire to be found online. Not for any bad reasons, I'm just super secretive and maybe paranoid

[hollowone]

Facebook and other social media is only useful for keeping in touch with peopel who you've met and meeting peopel who you haven't seen in ages and also, organizing events. When you're feeling lonely and depressed, the wonderful things that people post can definitely make you feel down.

ON the note of privacy, going off the original topic, @ ajax;

I know I'm a bit of an old coot, but I'm one of those people who do not want to be found if anyone Googles me. I like my privacy, so posting my life online in a way that I can be identified is not for me. I'm amazed just how much people are willing to give away about themselves on a very public and open platform. Personally, I keep well away from Twitter and facebook.

I can't understand how so many people can put themselves out there, spill their guts publicly and the like. For me I'd find doing a speech after finishing a kareoke song less scary. Are they all Mick Jaggers on diazepam these young folk? Super-human feat to me.

Perhaps they're not aware or conscious of privacy. I would hate to be google-able. Perhaps they don't think about it? How do people people manage to cope with that fear?

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by hollowone

Facebook and other social media is only useful for keeping in touch with peopel who you've met and meeting peopel who you haven't seen in ages and also, organizing events. When you're feeling lonely and depressed, the wonderful things that people post can definitely make you feel down.

Although I don't use social media I pretty much agree with you there. From what I see of my cousins teenage girls' social media use and their day-to-day living I'd say that they use it to converse with those they are already friends with rather than to make new friends. Although they might have 600 'friends' online, in daily life they spend their time with the people they know from school and now, work.

I think social media can also give a false impression of how people live. It's a condensed version of a person's life with the good bits embellished and the boring, mundane bits left out. To the outside viewer it can look like they are the only one in the world not living it up. The reality is usually quite different, of course.

Originally Posted by hollowone

ON the note of privacy, going off the original topic, @ ajax;

I can't understand how so many people can put themselves out there, spill their guts publicly and the like. For me I'd find doing a speech after finishing a kareoke song less scary. Are they all Mick Jaggers on diazepam these young folk? Super-human feat to me.

Perhaps they're not aware or conscious of privacy. I would hate to be google-able. Perhaps they don't think about it? How do people people manage to cope with that fear?

It does baffle me too at times. Mind you, it seems today pretty much everyone wants to ''be famous''. Young people in particular have supposed role models who air everything in public and on social media. Nothing seems to be private anymore. It seems it's all about flaunting these days. There is little mystery left. Little to find out about people because they've pretty much posted the ins and outs of their cat's arse on social media. Actually, it's the people who I can find nothing about when I Google them that I find the most interesting and intriguing.

Maybe like Mr Warhol suggested; everyone will have their 15 minutes of fame. Well, for most people, maybe being plastered all over the internet via social media is as good as it gets?

[David K]

You all sound really old. Even the young'uns!

Originally Posted by Ajax Amsterdam

I think social media can also give a false impression of how people live. It's a condensed version of a person's life with the good bits embellished and the boring, mundane bits left out.

That's how humans have conversed since we crawled out of the sea. No one wants to share mundane stuff, and no one wants to hear about it either.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by David K

You all sound really old. Even the young'uns!

*walks off in a huff*

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by David K

That's how humans have conversed since we crawled out of the sea. No one wants to share mundane stuff, and no one wants to hear about it either.

Of course. It's just that with social media a lot of people seem to forget that and take it on face value. This tends to see many people feeling rather inadequate as a result, though.

[hollowone]

Social media is good for getting in touch with people you haven't seen in ages, organising events and catching-up,. Peripheral acquaintances who you might not see as friends, it can be useful for organising get togethers and expanding your social circle. It's not a substitute for more organic ways of meeting people.

I think social media can also give a false impression of how people live. It's a condensed version of a person's life with the good bits embellished and the boring, mundane bits left out. To the outside viewer it can look like they are the only one in the world not living it up. The reality is usually quite different, of course.

That's why social media can make you feel depressed. It's so easy to forget that people put on a facade.

**
The note about privacy, I think I might start a separate thread on that, since it's a great topic to go into.

There could be an element of peer pressure that I might not have, and that those who are socailly-isolated might not have and even so, those who do pose might not feel comfortable doing so?

You all sound really old. Even the young'uns!

What's more scary, playing a couple of songs and classical peices on your guitar that you've not rehearsed properly in front of lots of strangers, or posting random facts about your life in public view? The young people must be taking in the water supply.

[David K]

Originally Posted by hollowone

What's more scary, playing a couple of songs and classical peices on your guitar that you've not rehearsed properly in front of lots of strangers, or posting random facts about your life in public view? The young people must be taking in the water supply.

The first one, by miles.

Note that I'm not anonymous on this forum and I post loads of stuff about myself. And my life is quite shit. I'm not saying it's good or bad to put yourself out there, but different people worry about different things.

I'm quite passionate about online privacy and think we should have complete control over what is and isn't private. I would personally strangle anyone who tried to take away your anonymity here, but I choose to forgo it for myself.

EDIT: oh, to answer the OP ***8211; In don't find social media useful for making friends (although I would count SAUK as social media and I have made friends here). Facebook has been good for bridging the gap between 'anon forum person' and 'bosom buddy' since it's a low-risk way of getting to know someone better.

[hollowone]

^Regarding keeping a contact channel for people you've met online through websites;social media has that role, as an alternative to email and texting.

Regarding Victoriablack,social media is not really a way to meet new people. Everyone one my FB profile is someone I've met in real life, the only exceptions being people who've messaged me here who I've added and kept in contact with. Look at social media as an extension to private messaging if you meet people through the online channel. Likewise,through real life, it's another way to keep in contact in addition to phone number and email. That's all it is.

If you want to organise a get together with people you haven't seen (and hopefully new people), it can be a good tool.

[Auby]

I suppose I'm echoing AnnieLu's post, but if you have a hobby or interest that has a local 'scene', social media can be good for making friends within it. Particularly Instagram, Facebook and forums (if we're classing forums as social media) in my experience but I guess it depends on the hobby.

On Instagram I search for tags, for example my town followed by whatever I'm interested in e.g. #BristolSkateboarding (using Bristol as an example, I'm too paranoid to put my small town on SAUK). From there you can find new people to follow, chat to, etc. I'm not on Facebook but I've found local 'groups' related to my hobbies. And finding people through forums dedicated to that hobby is pretty much self-explanatory. Sorry if this all seems obvious by the way.