#1
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Understanding social cues when you have SA
My biggest problem is understanding social cues and what is expected of me in the situation. I have a strong sense of empathy and hate to see others hurt. At the same time I need to set more boundaries and not be a people pleaser. My worries are exacerbated in the workplace. From minor queries about saying good morning before or after you put your stuff in your locker when you come into a room, to not knowing how to respond to individual morning greetings once you have already said good morning. Do you repeat good mornings till the last person speaking finishes. When do you thank someone for an email if its forwarding work as part of agreed chain of procedure.
For me I struggle with understanding social expectations and what to do if its not followed by the other person. I tend to take people at face value and not recognise a joke if someone is serious while saying it. |
#2
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
God knows, man. I think you say Good morning straight away before you've put your stuff away.
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#3
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
Probably better to overdo the politeness than to underdo it.
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#4
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
^ It's true that different cultures have different standards, also things vary from one environment to another. And we can sometimes seem ridiculous if we're overly polite.
I just meant than when in doubt, it's probably better to err on the side of politeness. |
#5
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
I know what you mean. I end up worrying about what exactly to do at times, or how to reply to emails etc.
But perhaps you don't need to worry too much about what you do with things like this. Maybe it doesn't matter exactly when you say good morning as long as overall you appear to be fairly friendly towards your colleagues. You don't necessarily need to say good morning to everyone, but you could if you felt like it (or if you get the impression people are expecting you to). There aren't absolute rules for these things. The little things might seem to add up but if you can give the impression overall that you're friendly/well disposed to your colleagues I think that's more important than exactly when/what/how you do it. |
#6
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
At what point do you just give up and stop caring? Learn not to be so concerned what people think and live your life not giving a damn whether you didn't respond with a thank you to the millionth email from your colleague and this is the time they respond with you didn't respond you're so rude behind your back.
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#7
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Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA
How are you? Someone asks.You reply Okay thanks, how are you? The other person gets huffy and fake grins then behind your back you find out that they have reported you as rude.
How are you? Someone asks. You reply "Fine". Other person frowns and then behind your back they report you as rude. How do you win in situations like this? |