How I am beating it

Hi everyone, this is only my second post so hi to all of you! I came on here because I was feeling quite proud of slowly but surely defeating my form of social anxiety. I used to blush profusely throughout my teens (I'm 19 now) and I was painfully uncomfortable with myself. I couldnt answer a question in class without my head popping off with redness and everyday seemed like a new oppurtunity for humilation. People teased me about it and I was highly affected by it. But lately, things are changing. I dont know if this works for other people, but I taught myself to look at myself from a new perspective. I concentrated on my talents and qualities. I was decent looking, funny and charismatic. I kept telling myself that. And the blushes became rarer. I adopted a new attitude, one of self confidence. I started going to the gym, and the feelings of self power and adrenaline started to grow. Nowadays, not only do I blush very rarely, but I am also one of the more extroverted people! I really am delighted. Can anybody else relate to my story the problem I had? Sometimes it feels like you're alone, so thats the beauty of places like this!

Hey Guvna!

Well done buddy! I can relate to a lot of what you say, changing perspectives, going to the gym, building on your strengths.

And that's a fantastic word - "delighted". It really made me smile. I'm "delighted" for you mate.

Take care, well done and mucho respecto!(Emote: beerchug)

James

Well done GuvNa! (Emote: smile)

Concentrating on your positives is a good idea, I should try it!

Thanks alot to both of you! Its great to here encouragement from other people. I hope that both of you are winning your personal battles too!

Well done GuvNa! (Emote: thumbpurple)

Well done, GuvNa. (Emote: smileyellow)

I don't normally get to read this part of the forum but i'm glad i did today. Like yourself, i also used to be a dreadfully bad blusher, right up to the age of around 40.
So i can certainly relate to your story and how you must have been feeling.

I did pretty much the same as you did in order to combat this problem. Although in 2002 it was so bad that i was about to have the ETS operation to rid myself of blushing once and for all. In the end i decided to give it one more try at beating it with psychological methods as opposed to surgery.

I did what you have done and also learned to see my blushing as a tiny issue of no real importance rather than the earth shattering issue it actually was for me. In the end the blushes happened less and less, and when they did happen i told myself i didn't care anyway. This meant the blushes were rarer and faded quicker even when they did appear.

I still blush now and again, but it doesn't rule my life like it used to do. For most of my life my blushing was so bad i couldn't bear to go to school to get educated, but now i've even managed to get into college, do presentations, answer questions in class and generally particupate and learn stuff.
Because i know from experience just how hard it is to get where you are today i think your achievement is fantastic.

A lot of people don't understand just how devastating blushing can be to certain individuals. Even some people with SA but who are not blushers themselves have failed to grasp just how crippling it can be to some, judging by some things i've read on SA sites. As a fellow ex-blusher i fully understand just how difficult blushing can be to beat. If you ignore it it never goes away, but if you concentrate on it it only gets worse. Sometimes it feels like a no-win situation, but it can be beaten, as you have proved.

Well done. Hopefully you can now get on with your life and excel. (Emote: beerchug)

Hi innerspace, thanks alot for your reply. I know exactly what you mean, even though blushing is just a small sounding thing it can be terribly devestating, and like you said, it can seem to take over your life at times. I'm glad to hear that you've got over your problem too, it really is great to hear more success stories. I can also relate to what you said about "not caring." I have blushed mildly once or twice lately, but I didnt feel like I really cared and it vanished in an instant, wheras in the past I would feel unbelievably self conscious and it would get worse. I think that the ability to beat SA lies within everybody, its just a case of searching for it and realising it. Thanks alot mate!! (By the way, does that little icon by your name mean you're a Liverpool fan?!!)

Hi again, Guv.

No prob's. Your post really struck a chord with me because of my own experience of blushing.
I'm just glad to hear of another person who has managed to get the better of this problem.
'Not caring' if i blush is a major step forward because when i did care it was like throwing petrol on an already raging fire. Having a 'couldn't care less' attitude to the blush seems to extinguish it very quickly indeed. This approach seems to be just as effective to you too. If any other blushers are reading this and thinking that this approach is useless and ineffective i just want to add that you have to persist with it even if deep down it makes no sense and you don't believe it yourself. It took persistence before it helped me, but in the end it worked. Not caring if you blush or not actually robs the blush of the anxiety it feeds on and needs.

You're right, GuvNa, the ability to beat SA really is inside all of us. We just have to look inside and locate it, then practice with it. Sounds easy when written like that, but i know it's not that easy in practice. It is the way forward though.

I'm chuffed to see another ex-blusher getting past their problems, so well done. (Emote: beerchug)

Yep, the Liverbird icon is because i'm a Liverpool fan. I live in Liverpool and am a lifelong red. Which is good at the moment. (Emote: biggrin)

Take care, GuvNa.

Thanks again for your reply innerspace. I agree with everything you say, its just a shame you support Liverpool (big United fan here!!) But football rivalries aside, it really is refreshing coming on here and hearing that other people have experienced exactly what you have and have felt what you thought nobody else could ever feel. Its strange how such a small thing can make you feel! But well done to you mate for beating it, and thanks for the words of encouragement!! We'll see you at Old Trafford or Anfield next year mate!!

Quote: cavycrazy at 10***58;28***58;35 Thu Jun 2 2005
Well done GuvNa! (Emote: smile)

Concentrating on your positives is a good idea, I should try it!

I agree with that I also think when you feel good about yourself the SA is not as bad (Emote: smile)

Well done btw (Emote: smileyellow)

Ditto all the above comments GuvNa well done (Emote: smile)