Coming Out of Lockdown

[Chach]

I used to be active on here. Sometimes, like today, I wish I could still be here, but at least I'm doing my best to raise awareness of social anxiety via my books. (See below.)

I just blogged about what happened to me last night. If you're still isolating, be prepared for this.

[Chach]

On second thoughts, I think I should copy the second part of the post:

Last night, I went out properly for the first time since lockdown when I attended our first post-lockdown dancing session. It was wonderful to be able to dance again and, of course, to see all the familiar faces. It wasn’t wonderful to have reality thrown back at me.

After spending three months in a cocoon, the exposure to society brought back all the communication difficulties I’ve always struggled with. The three-month break made this much harder to contend with. I wasn’t prepared for what that would do to me. I know I will get over this as socialising becomes more routine, but for me, this has been the hardest part of 2020 so far.

If you’re still in isolation and have social anxiety, be prepared for this shock.

[Seagull]

https://www.metro.news/facing-the-ne...xiety/2033774/

[Chach]

Thanks, Seagull. That's very interesting and I'm glad the problem is being thought about.

‘Take comfort from the fact that others are likely to be feeling similarly to you and that it may take some time to recondition our social muscles.’

I have to say, I didn't see any sign of that. Everyone else seemed excited to be back and happy to pick up where they left off.

[Finlay]

Very interesting blog post, Chach! It touches on something that has been bothering me with regards to coming out of lockdown. The combo of working in a job in a busy office environment and also getting into my first ever relationship has been tough, and continues to be tough, but I felt it has helped me with regards to my social skills. In work I have to talk to people, as there's nowhere to hide. And being in relationship has meant I've had to attend a shed-load more social events that in the past I could avoid because I was on my own, but this also has helped my social skills.

But now having been cooped up working from home and unable to see my girlfriend or go out anywhere since about late March has found me slip back into the routines and ways of thinking I was at when I first signed up this site. I'm now back to being nervous about having to go out socially again, and I feel like I've lost the power of small talk that I gained from being in work. Maybe muscle memory will kick in and I'll be back to where I was quick enough, but it is a concern, I'll be honest.

[Lone Dog]

If exposure therapy helps (I'm not sure I believe it), then it makes sense that isolation can increase your fear. I do feel an added level of anxiety at the moment when I go outside, you have the normal SA to deal with, plus the fear of being infected by others, and also the fear of going too close to others and have them tell you off for it. Not to mention feeling as if you are being rude if you give people a wide berth.

Also, after all of this, assuming we get to that point, I can't see that anything much is going to change for SA people. Whatever our lives were like before they are going to be like after. People aren't suddenly going to warm to you or treat you kinder. Some will, but those people are uncommon. I've read in the papers a few articles where writers say we will have a kinder world after, but I don't think people change that much.

[Lone Dog]

^ I don't think that. You're right about those things. It's just that reading the 'kinder world' articles in the papers is a bit annoying because you know it doesn't ring true.

[Chach]

Good luck, everyone!

I hadn't even thought about this problem and was totally unprepared for what happened.

You could argue the opposite: that the expectation of it could exacerbate it. But I think it's better to be aware, so that you try your best but don't beat yourself up if the first experience doesn't go well.