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  #1  
Old 4th January 2018, 19:13
humphrey humphrey is offline
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Default Anxiety Overload

My Mum, who has been poorly in Hospital for the last 3 months, died this morning.

It was not unexpected. She contracted a chest infection last Friday, she has COPD and Weak Heart, and on the Saturday they started her on IV Antibiotics, but she wasn't making much headway. On Monday night/early Tuesday it developed in full blown pneumonia, they changed her IV antibiotics to the strongest you can get on the highest dose available, they tried that for two days, but she just wasn't strong enough to respond. We would have stopped the treatment on Tuesday night, but the consultant wanted to give it one more shot.

Yesterday morning when we went in, we had a meeting with the consultant, and decided to withdraw all remaining treatment. It was for the best, as from Tuesday her eyes opened now and again, but their was no recognition in them. Yesterday they kept her comfortable with sedatives and pain relief. Her breathing got shallower as the day wore on.

Fortunately I had my brother and sister with me to help cope with all of this, and the Hospital and staff have been fabulous. I said goodbye this morning, while crying my eyes out.

And now with my brother we are having to inform/cancel all of her various things, I have managed to make more phone calls today than I have in the last 6 months! It is so stressful talking to strangers over and over the same thing, that mum has died and can we cancel this and that.

Tomorrow morning I have to go back to the ward to collect the doctors death certificate, that shouldn't be too bad as I only have to go to the reception part.

Then its back to sorting everything out.
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  #2  
Old 4th January 2018, 19:36
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear about your mum . Take care of yourself.
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  #3  
Old 4th January 2018, 20:39
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

you are doing amazing Humphrey, getting though all this,. it must be terribly sad, and so hard to do,
but you sound strong, and sounds like you are taking the lead and keeping your head,
I hope you can take some comfort and strength from your family and friends to help you get through the loss of your Mum,
I hope they can share some of the burden Humphrey and help out in the organising.

take care of yourself.
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  #4  
Old 4th January 2018, 20:40
Libbyjay Libbyjay is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Big hug x
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  #5  
Old 4th January 2018, 21:06
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

I am so sorry about your mother, I hope you are getting good support.
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  #6  
Old 4th January 2018, 21:17
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

I'm really sorry to hear this, I am thinking of you and your family, take care of yourself x
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  #7  
Old 4th January 2018, 21:22
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

Thinking of you and your family Humphrey I'm so sorry.
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  #8  
Old 5th January 2018, 09:41
les les is offline
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You have my deepest sympathies for your loss, lean on your family as much as you need, and don't take on more than you feel you can handle at any one time. I am in the middle of things after my dad died at Christmas, and I don't have family to help me out as a result the stress has brought on an attack of Ménière's disease that has made me very unwell just when I need to be firing on all cylinders.
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  #9  
Old 5th January 2018, 10:46
Marco Marco is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

I'm very sorry to hear this, Humphrey and Les. Take care, both of you!
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  #10  
Old 5th January 2018, 12:36
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

Humphrey, I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that, in time, the fact that you were able to say goodbye will be a comfort to you - it was for me when my mother died as I held her hand. I can only echo what others have said in regard to your finding strength and taking whatever support you can get.

Les, I am sorry to hear that you have no family to offer support and hope that you're able to get through this difficult time; I wish there were something more useful I could say or do.
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  #11  
Old 5th January 2018, 15:24
humphrey humphrey is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

Thank you for all your condolences and good wishes, as I lived and cared for Mam it has been a wrench.

Les I can only imagine what you are going through on your own, it is very hard with the help & support of my brother and sister. My brother is taking care of the arrangements, solicitor etc.

Fortunately I don't have a funeral to attend, as my mum left her body to Medical Science. The hospital were fantastic about it, when we told them of her wishes, they asked for the paperwork and said they will do all the arrangements. That was level 10 anxiety (I was worried they would not accept the body, as they can decline if they don't need it). But 2 hours after we left the hospital the university rang up and thanked us for the donation and asked if anybody was left to visit her,when we said no, they said they would pick her up this morning.

My mum used to be in the "Casualty Union", years ago when she was younger, they are the people who play the casualties in mock accidents for the emergency services. So as far as she was concerned, leaving her body was just a step up from that.

I am starting to feel less stressed now, as the worst of the phone calls are over, we just have to go on Tuesday Morning to register the death. But we are using their service to cancel her pension and attendance allowance etc. which saves a load more calls.

Thankfully I have a few more days of work, as my head is spinning, and my sleep (or lack of it is all over the place.
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  #12  
Old 6th January 2018, 12:14
Rianne Rianne is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

^^ Sorry to hear about your mum. As Purplesnarf has said, I hope you get some decent sleep soon.
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  #13  
Old 6th January 2018, 18:11
Blackflies Blackflies is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

Sad to hear of your loss. I hope you are coping as well as you possibly can under the circumstances. Best wishes.
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  #14  
Old 6th January 2018, 20:54
Kipper Kipper is offline
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Deepest sympathy to you and your family Humphrey.
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  #15  
Old 6th January 2018, 21:59
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Anxiety Overload

So sorry for your loss Humphrey, you sound like you have coped extremely well at such a difficult time.

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