A new hobby but I'll have to mix with people...

clyde33 · #1 8th March 2018, 11:49

I've always fancied playing tennis as I think it would be good exercise and fun at the same time. I noticed my local tennis club was advertising an introductory class this month for beginners, plus it's free. I'd love to give it a try but there's just no way I could because there would be other people there and I'd have to mix with them and I'd be so nervous. I'm a bit sad as I really would love to do it, but I know I just won't go. Nobody will go with me so I'd be going myself. I have a fear of looking stupid in front of a group of people I don't know, of them judging me, of stuttering and fidgeting and of being the only one left out of groups as I don't have much to say. I panic if a stranger speaks to me too. Don't even know why I'm typing this as nothing will make me go along to it but I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has something they'd love to try but can't due to their bloody SA?

Mr. Nobody · #2 8th March 2018, 13:06

^
can't your partner join you?

it sucks that you feel so sure that you'll struggle at it,
seems like you really want to go,
if it's an introductory class then I'm sure there'll be quite a few people in the same situation as you.

I'd quite like to go to a photography class, but think they started in January so I've missed a good chunk of it,
I do find it hard going out after work, but I think it's mainly weather-related,I hate the cold dark nights,
and because I often have really draining days at work and just want to curl up on the couch and chill of an evening after that.

gregarious_introvert · #3 8th March 2018, 15:05

It's not so long ago that I would have struggled to attend anything which involved mixing with people (in fact, I was once turned down for a job because they said that the hobbies listed on my application form were all solitary pastimes!) and many years ago, I couldn't bring myself to join a cycling club when I was really keen on cycling.

Things are different since I started with meetup and subsequently I've joined the Ramblers; I know you say that nothing would make you go, but I can tell you that the fear of going is far worse than actually going. If you did go, then there would be others there who would be just (or almost) as nervous as you and everyone will be focussed on their tennis game rather than on you. If I could, I'd be happy to go with you and then you'd be assured that there would someone making more of a fool of himself than you, as I am the worst tennis player the world has ever seen!

Marco · #4 8th March 2018, 15:10

^Not so fast, GI, you haven't seen me play tennis!

neilm · #5 8th March 2018, 15:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

It's not so long ago that I would have struggled to attend anything which involved mixing with people (in fact, I was once turned down for a job because they said that the hobbies listed on my application form were all solitary pastimes!) and many years ago, I couldn't bring myself to join a cycling club when I was really keen on cycling.

Things are different since I started with meetup and subsequently I've joined the Ramblers; I know you say that nothing would make you go, but I can tell you that the fear of going is far worse than actually going. If you did go, then there would be others there who would be just (or almost) as nervous as you and everyone will be focussed on their tennis game rather than on you. If I could, I'd be happy to go with you and then you'd be assured that there would someone making more of a fool of himself than you, as I am the worst tennis player the world has ever seen!

Oddly enough , Ime thinking of attending a Ramblers meet a week on Sunday. The walk looks easy enough (as long as the weather isnt too bad) but Ime a bit concerned on being stuck on a coach for 3 odd hours with a bunch of folk Ive never met before, so unsure on whether Ill actually make it along.

How did things go for you first time , GI ?

gregarious_introvert · #6 8th March 2018, 16:11

^My involvement with the Ramblers was really a natural progression of meetup (some of the meetup walking groups are also Ramblers groups), so my first time with the Ramblers was fine; however, my first meetup, which was a walk in the Peak District, was a lot more awkward and I didn't speak to anyone for more than an hour.

I've always made my own way to the start point (there are some groups which meet in Nottingham and travel by coach or car share, but since I'm usually closer to the start point - for the Dales or Peaks - than I am to Nottingham, I tend to meet them there) and I can understand how the prospect of three hours on a coach with strangers might seem daunting; I could do it now, but I wouldn't have entertained the idea for a first outing (until a couple of years ago, I wasn't able to use public transport either). Walking with a group, where one has the activity and the scenery on which to focus, is very different to sitting next to someone in an enclosed space.

Some groups have weekly pub meets, or short evening walks - is there any possibility that you could meet up with some of them before the event? If not, perhaps you could find something which doesn't involve such a long journey until you do get to know one or two of them?