Who else had an awful time in university because of their SA?

[BritishPeace]

University is supposed to be the time when you learn new ideas, do new things, experiment. But for me it was the worst time of my SA. I was a recluse, not a person with new ideas.

[gregarious_introvert]

I was looking for a new start after all the bullying at school, but from the first day I was out of my depth; after the second week of my first term, I stopped attending lectures and locked myself in my room. I had to buy a mini-grill so that I didn't have to use the communal kitchen.

The second and third years were spent off-campus and I may as well not even have been in digs, as the only time I went near the campus was when I had a tutorial (I wasn't allowed to miss those). I managed to resist the complete mental breakdown until the fourth year.

It was the most isolated and lonely time of my life.

[hellotiger]

Yes it was awful. I repeated first year and then dropped out anyway. I stopped making films and art after that. Failure hit me hard.

[clyde33]

I hated my four years at uni. I had to live in the halls of residence and found it awful; far too many people around me and way too noisy. I dreaded the 'floor parties' most Friday nights where everyone living on the same floor would sit in the corridor and drink. I used to hide in my room with the lights turned off pretending I was out. I couldn't even go to the toilet if I needed it. The communal dining hall was a nightmare and I just ended up doing without meals to save having to sit alone while everyone else sat together and ate. I made toast in my room and lived on Pot Noodles. A big part of my course involved group work and nobody ever wanted me to be in their groups because I wasn't one of the 'popular' ones. I'd be left on my own feeling even shittier than ever. I just hated uni. Might not have been so bad if I hadn't had to actually live on the campus as I could just have spent the bare minimum time at uni then.

[sillypenguin]

I wouldn't know, I only went to a local college for a year, that was 10 years ago when my anxiety wasn't an issue. Now I'm doing open uni from home so I pretty much dont need to socialise but it's still hard work at times.

[Indigo_]

I lived at home and turned up for the tutorials, lectures and seminars. Did no socialising what so ever and made it through that way. I achieved what I set out to do and that was to get my teaching degree.

[limey123]

The first 3 years were hell. Especially the hall of residence and sharing a room in the 1st year. I managed to get out of there fairly quickly. I lived mostly in my room and came out for seminars and lectures. I was known to some on campus as a "twat" and lots of students laughed at my appearance and mannerisms, also because I looked extremely young. My social life did improve somewhat in the 3rd year.

It was much better for my Masters - then I just commuted into London for seminars and was able to avoid much of student life altogether (which made some students think I was aloof and snooty, so I was never popular).

[Mr. Nobody]

my uni time was the awfullest of all these awful times

[Kevin Hodge]

Originally Posted by Vasco Da Gama

my uni time was the awfullest of all these awful times

i went to haggis university, my studies were full of offal

[Kevin Hodge]

in all seriousness there was a lot going wrong for me in uni and i just didnt understand what it was all about at the time. i remember hours and hours in the library trying for the life of me to study but feeling like i was on acid or something because i hadnt yet figured out that i have a wheat intolerance. i remember routinely being late for lectures from having to run to the toilet and all that.

but also i remember firsts like actually hanging out with some people from uni in a bar, drinking a pint (which back then came with all kinds of abdominal agony) and being torn between feeling so shocked and surprised that people would actually let me hang out with them but also this constant terror and urge to just get away from it as soon as possible. i would maybe stay for one pint and then make some kind of excuse for having to get away but not really understand why i felt i had to flee away. they would come in next day with stories of the night they had after i left but in all honesty i couldnt stay out drinking anyway because it was brutal on my stomach.

man i havent really thought of this for a while. :/

but yeah as far as the studies, in my last year it hit me that the end goal was i was going to get my degree and then go get some kind of graduate job? i was already freaking out and struggling to cope in shitty menial jobs at the time and this realisation forced me to see that it was all a sham, there was no way i could cope in a "real job" and so all the hard work required for my final year would be utterly pointless. meanwhile i was struggling with feeling shit all the time, socially i felt like an utter freak and i had never had any kind of relationship, so everything in my life felt like a load of bollocks.

my outlet back then was playing in a band and thats what i enjoyed spending my time doing, i never really got much out of "real life" apart from that

[Aelwyn]

Not exactly awful, but there were so many opportunities I wasn't able to take. The SA kicked in on day 3 of the first term, when I went to the canteen, got some soup, and realised my hand was shaking so much I could hardly eat.

I never saw a doctor or therapist as I didn't know about SA at the time, and just thought I must be exceptionally shy. There were all sorts of clubs and societies I could have joined, but never did. I wasn't miserable because I did make a few friends, and I managed to get through the very few hours of lectures and tutorials - I put on a kind of false confident persona, it's hard to explain and unfortunately I never managed it in any of the jobs I subsequently had.