Feeling great, but....

[tecknohed]

Hi folks. I'm on a med combo and its finally kicked in. Horray! This is as good as Nardil! So why am I so pissed off & angry? Because I have no friends, other than people I know from my local SA group. Every time I suggest a social, either out of the blue or planned, i get no replies. People are too tired for a social after groups too, but only when I suggest it. Anyone else suggests it and a few (at least) people are up for it. I also have a good friend who's SA is disabling at the moment. He's drinking and become a hermit AGAIN.
Also the people I meet never want to meet me again, giving some old excuse. I go out every day being too afraid of the viscios cycle of hibernation and procrastination. I have lots to do, after putting off so much whilst I was disabled. Its a strain but feels good and my head is clear. I average 5-6 miles a day just walking.
I just think I'm an unlikable person. But it doesn't make me sad, just brutally angry at the worls, the people in it and getting better is starting to look like a waste of time. It must be me. Something fundamentally wrong, which only others can see from the outside, but which I cannot see from within.
I've also just given up drinking (alcoholism) AND Cannabis habbit. And no, I've never exposed anyone to drink/drugs. Neither have I let people see me drunk or stoned. I've always used on my own. So that cant be it.
Life just seems so cruel, despite the tones of stuff I've done/tried to get over SA. No reward. No company. People turning thier backs to me. Am I destined to be forever doomed by loneliness? Damn!
And I dont normally ramble like this. I'm just getting near the end of my tether.


teck

[pinkwafer]

Hi,

Don't give up.

There are people who will like you. We can't all be liked by everyone and we can't like everyone we meet - but the more people you meet the higher the likelihood of developing good friends.

[tecknohed]

Thanks for your input pinkwafer. And you are very correct. But I'm talking a whole group of 12 or more. So out of 12 people none of them wanna hang out with me? That doesn't sound good odds to me. Still, thanks for the encouragement.

[tecknohed]

Good point Diana. I guess just because I have SA doesn't necessarily mean I have to hang out with other SA sufferers. Something for me to think about. In fact I am planning to go to a techno club weekend after next and have posted that on the SA-west forum. I love techno, but for SA sufferers still 'suffering' I shouldn't expect any of them to feel up for a techno all nighter ending at 5am LOL

[neilm]

Originally Posted by tecknohed

Hi folks. I'm on a med combo and its finally kicked in. Horray! This is as good as Nardil! So why am I so pissed off & angry? Because I have no friends, other than people I know from my local SA group. Every time I suggest a social, either out of the blue or planned, i get no replies. People are too tired for a social after groups too, but only when I suggest it. Anyone else suggests it and a few (at least) people are up for it. I also have a good friend who's SA is disabling at the moment. He's drinking and become a hermit AGAIN.
Also the people I meet never want to meet me again, giving some old excuse. I go out every day being too afraid of the viscios cycle of hibernation and procrastination. I have lots to do, after putting off so much whilst I was disabled. Its a strain but feels good and my head is clear. I average 5-6 miles a day just walking.
I just think I'm an unlikable person. But it doesn't make me sad, just brutally angry at the worls, the people in it and getting better is starting to look like a waste of time. It must be me. Something fundamentally wrong, which only others can see from the outside, but which I cannot see from within.
I've also just given up drinking (alcoholism) AND Cannabis habbit. And no, I've never exposed anyone to drink/drugs. Neither have I let people see me drunk or stoned. I've always used on my own. So that cant be it.
Life just seems so cruel, despite the tones of stuff I've done/tried to get over SA. No reward. No company. People turning thier backs to me. Am I destined to be forever doomed by loneliness? Damn!
And I dont normally ramble like this. I'm just getting near the end of my tether.


teck

Could be though, that the folks at your SA Group are more severely affected than yourself and perhaps its too difficult for them to socialise with you (rather than them choosing not to) because their own SA issues?

Dont beat yourself up over this mate , its quite probable you havent done anything wrong at all.

[pheys]

Originally Posted by neilm

Could be though, that the folks at your SA Group are more severely affected than yourself and perhaps its too difficult for them to socialise with you (rather than them choosing not to) because their own SA issues?

Dont beat yourself up over this mate , its quite probable you havent done anything wrong at all.

this ^

By our very nature it is hard to meet and very plausible that the others are thinking the EXACT same things you are.

[tecknohed]

You know what neilm, I think you've hit the nail on the head. Thinking back when I was ill with SA, I wouldn't have felt comfortable around very sociable, talkative people for fear of not knowing what to say & basically feel just plain awkward. Thanks for the insight!

[thetopoftheworld]

How long did it take the med to kick in?, what's it called?.

Originally Posted by tecknohed

Hi folks. I'm on a med combo and its finally kicked in. Horray! This is as good as Nardil! So why am I so pissed off & angry? Because I have no friends, other than people I know from my local SA group. Every time I suggest a social, either out of the blue or planned, i get no replies. People are too tired for a social after groups too, but only when I suggest it. Anyone else suggests it and a few (at least) people are up for it. I also have a good friend who's SA is disabling at the moment. He's drinking and become a hermit AGAIN.
Also the people I meet never want to meet me again, giving some old excuse. I go out every day being too afraid of the viscios cycle of hibernation and procrastination. I have lots to do, after putting off so much whilst I was disabled. Its a strain but feels good and my head is clear. I average 5-6 miles a day just walking.
I just think I'm an unlikable person. But it doesn't make me sad, just brutally angry at the worls, the people in it and getting better is starting to look like a waste of time. It must be me. Something fundamentally wrong, which only others can see from the outside, but which I cannot see from within.
I've also just given up drinking (alcoholism) AND Cannabis habbit. And no, I've never exposed anyone to drink/drugs. Neither have I let people see me drunk or stoned. I've always used on my own. So that cant be it.
Life just seems so cruel, despite the tones of stuff I've done/tried to get over SA. No reward. No company. People turning thier backs to me. Am I destined to be forever doomed by loneliness? Damn!
And I dont normally ramble like this. I'm just getting near the end of my tether.


teck

[Tillymint]

No-one ever really likes me either. I don't know why that is? Just like you don't know why it is the same for you! even when I try to talk to people online they shun me! I'm quite a thread killer so it would seem?

One thing that is worth looking into, is that we all give off and receive bio-rythms and lots of us gel (like magnets) and lots of us repel, (like turning the magnets back to back, they just cannot connect) I think maybe you and me and others like us might just be like that? we repel and are repelled? If that theory was to be correct then it would ultimately mean that we mix in the wrong circles and just haven't found our connections yet? Just a thought...Do you ever feel like you where born into the wrong family/wrong time...? I do. I have always felt that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time as the wrong person... like my inner self knows I was 'born' into the wrong family! Sorry I'm going on and on now..ha

I hope you can find some kind of peace within yourself because then you will be very joyful to enjoy your life and everything you do, just as you and just with you! And you wont be arsed whether you socialize or are all alone, because either way, you'll be with YOU! Being with you would probably be an honor to many people you will meet along the path, So just be proud of who you are.

Also, being confident gives off positive signals and can be very beneficial, if you can manage it?

Now what are these new meds? I'd love some if they can make me get up in the morning yearning for life!

[umm]

Originally Posted by tecknohed

Thanks for your input pinkwafer. And you are very correct. But I'm talking a whole group of 12 or more. So out of 12 people none of them wanna hang out with me? That doesn't sound good odds to me. Still, thanks for the encouragement.

Bear in mind that the distribution of types of people (in this case people who would want to hang out with you) is not even. Different types of people would tend to congregate in groups of their own. Find those groups (you mentioned a club night) and your chances go up.

[umm]

Originally Posted by Tillymint

I'm quite a thread killer so it would seem?

One thing that is worth looking into, is that we all give off and receive bio-rythms and lots of us gel (like magnets) and lots of us repel, (like turning the magnets back to back, they just cannot connect) I'm going on and on now..ha

I claim the thread killer crown from you! my bad vibes piggyback on the tiny little packets of internet juice...

[jaicey]

hello there, my thing is that people do seem to like me, but when they ask me to go anywhere or do anything I cant do it. I don't feel able to connect for long and I panic of the thought that I have to make conversation for longer periods of time. I just cant face it, I don't feel safe being out or round people. I hide away to keep me safe. very dull very boring and very lonely .

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by thetopoftheworld

How long did it take the med to kick in?, what's it called?.

Hi. It wasn't a single med that helped me. It was a combination of meds:
Isocarboxazid 90mg, clonazepam 4mg, bupropion 300mg, quetiapine 100mg & amitriptyline 100mg. It was the amitriptyline than made that previous big change. Unfortunitely I'm now back where I started. Massive poop-out.
I've recently added lithium to help the depression. Thinking of adding gabapentin to the clonazepam in the near future for the SA.
Something else I have found helpfull is nootropics (google it). They clear the head so you can think clearer. Think of what to say easier. Tho it doesn't actually lower anxiety.

[Escapee]

OOPS! Seems I have changed my name and forgot lol. Used to be tecknohed, now Escapee. Soz for any confusion.

[blackgoddess]

Technohed you seem to be at the top end of the slope so stay focused and positive because you can slide right down the bottom of the slope faster than you can say SA. Just check my miserable introduction that will make you feel better.