The Stupid & Funny Quotes Thread......

In their reply to my application for People mag's 50 Most Beautiful People issue, they said I finished in 642,338th place. I'm hoping to fare better here. Briefly: homeowner, fishowner, microwave-dependent, entelly... intel... ente... umm real smart.

[Winnie57]

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.

[Winnie57]

I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more.
-- Cat Stevens

[Jihan]

"I like your opera. I think I will set it to music."
- (I can't remember who said this, nor to whom.)

[Winnie57]

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. Carl Gustav Jung

[threadbare]

"Yeah, I used to be "with it." But then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me." - Abe Simpson.

Directions: 1-Look at my picture. 2-Read my keywords. 3-Close eyes, breathing deep. 4-Exhale in triumph. 5-Smile happily. 6-Thank God. 7-Click Yes.

[Winnie57]

Half of the people in the world are below average.

[Winnie57]

I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted. - George Best

[filo]

I can't say too much, 'cos i've already told you more than i know meself...

An ex boss of mine

"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
bernard manning

[Winnie57]

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

[Peab]

"I've had a wonderful night, but this wasn't it..."
Groucho Marx

[Winnie57]

"I am nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore, I must be perfect!"
- Anon

[Winnie57]

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

[Jihan]

"I think we all agree, the past is over."

- George W Bush

[Winnie57]

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -A. (Whitney Brown)

[Winnie57]

I swear to drunk I'm not God

[Winnie57]

Originally Posted by The_Godfather

"I'm pink, therefore I'm spam" - says local pig.

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk."
-Stephen King

[Winnie57]

What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football - Stuart Hall, (radio 5 live commentator)

[ellen]

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

[ellen]

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"If only faces could talk..."
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

Ah bugger it www.bored.com

check it out.... if you want

ellen

[Winnie57]

Some David Beckham quotes:

“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.”

“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."

Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side" -when asked if he thought that he was a volatile player

[Winnie57]

"I was really into bestiality, sadomasochism, and necrophilia, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

[fruitloop]

Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?

I love firefly

Bugs

[Winnie57]

"Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."

[Mortigantoj]

Originally Posted by Bugschivers

Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?

I love firefly

Bugs

Firefly was brilliant! Damn them for stopping it!
Loved the movie (Serenity) aswell :D

[Winnie57]

"At fifty everyone has the face they deserve" - George Orwell

[Raks]

"Computer games don't affect kids - I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids,
we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and
listening to repetitive electronic music."

- Kristian Wilson [Nintendo Executive 1989]