Perceptions of me (Pre Video)

But what if they hadn't been? It could have been a really shitty Friday night for you!

[Pal]

Originally Posted by CaughtByTheFuzz

But what if they hadn't been? It could have been a really shitty Friday night for you!

True, but i run that risk either way. I can't say that peoples bad opinions really effect me much anymore as i'm used to hearing them.

Sometimes they can hurt but i'm usually good at seeing the bigger picture and leaving it.

Also, on a social anxiety support forum are people really going to give their true opinions of you anyway?!

Argh, I'm too tipsy and it's too late for all this lark. I'm going to run away now.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by CaughtByTheFuzz

Also, on an social anxiety support forum are people really going to give their true opinions of you anyway?!

Argh, I'm too tipsy and it's too late for all this lark. I'm going to run away now.

I'm off to bed in a tick myself.

On a forum i suspect people are going to be more willing to voice opinions then in real life so i'm at least getting some true opinions and if people aren't then they're welcome too, i won't be offended.

Well I dont know much about you really Pal but from what I have seen so far... I do like you! What I like about you is that you appear to be open and honest. I think?? you appear to say what you think and be true to yourself????? whatever the consequences. Yes you do appear serious but I can see the humour behind. I think its all about how we perceive and not what you write down.

Of course like has been said this is a forum and you choose to put down what you want to put across so I could be wrong in my ideas But on the other hand you could be like me and actually say more honest things about how you are and feel here than ever have done in the "real" world!?

[Andist]

I'll be brutally honest, as that is what you have asked.

This thread reeks of self-obsession!!!!!!!!!

[Ben1981]

As someone whos met you in person on 2 occasions I would say your generally very quiet and prefer to hover in the background in social situations. But you do have a good sense of humour and a strong determination to tackle your sa problems and not let them get the better of you. If you do have a weak side its that your on the sensitive side and if something bothers you it really does hit you hard as is obvious with your recent crush problems.

I would say your one of the good guys here and much more easy going in real life than on the forum. I enjoy attending meets with you and hope you keep on going to them.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Underground?

I made my assessment yesterday about you Pal, in the way I see it without relation to anxiety getting in the way. I took into account that those things would make you come across negatively sometimes, because it does for everyone with anxiety so I tried to keep those traits out of it, and look out how you'd be without the anxiety getting in the way.

But I'll tell a few of the things I have perceived about you since I've been here, with the anxiety taken into account, as it might be more constructive if you took on board some stuff from an outside perspective if it makes it past your ego and passive aggressive tendencies to dismiss alot of stuff. I'll take you on your word that you do actually want brutal honesty and might even use it and are mature enough to accept it. I'm doing this for the best intentions, because there is no point in people bullshitting you.



Because although I feel you made this thread mainly to fish for the positive comments as your vain streak craves, and you have a great knack of dismissing things immaturely that have no relation to your own self and vanity if it is negative, I still know that this is just the anxiety (and being a Leo, because my sister and every other Leo I know is like that). It important that you understand that and don't just pick the worst out of this post to focus on.

When I first came here, the first impression I got when I came here was of a weak, self obsessed person, completely centred and absorbed on his own problems more then most, and continually letting fly on the forum with your problems and looking for validation from others, but only responding to the good and accommadating posts about yourself. It's not good for anyone to do that. My view of being weak willed soon changed though, I know thats not the case.


I don't think you have to much life experience beyond your self, if that makes sense, because it's always, too much about you, and some of your post's have seemed completely naive. Really naive sometimes.

Like the Tech killer thread, where I have a suspicion you might of went to a mod to complain because you took offence to when I pointed out how everything seems to be about you and the other people who were worried about it, in that instance. I could be complete wrong. Probably am. But I know you can take things on the chin sometimes, other times I suspect this isn't the case and you just contain your rage and true feelings, and are brash in dismissing others without taking things on board, as you seem to think expressing your aggression is always a bad thing so you bottle it up and move on without giving reasons why, which just looks you are completely self interested and obsessed, well I do like to exaggerate a bit.


If I didn't like you I wouldn't be telling you this stuff. And If I made a thread like this I would of had a lot worse thrown at me. But as I said I don't judge you on these things, I don't even perceive you like that at all, because I tend not to judge people on the SA driven
elements of there personality and I like to look past that in others, but at times those are some of the impressions I've had of you before.

Hi Underworld

Nice one, that's just what i'm l0ooking for.

A few points, actually my main motivation for this thread was to look at the negatives. Obviously the positives are more desirable and it's human nature to yern for them but i wanted to get an idea of my bad sides as well as the good.

My main reasons for appearing so self obsessed on here is mainly because i'm tackling a number of very personal and difficult issues for me. My recent crush issue for example is probably one of my greatest fears/difficultys and as this is a support forum i've been quite horrendously needy about it, although my therapist tells me it's persfectly normal. Be assured though i did start to think that people on here were starting to get a bit fed up of hearing it and i tried to cut down. I'm making full use of this forum.

I have life experience but not in the sense most normal people have, unfortuently i've seen all too often what bad things human beings will do to each other and because of my SA and other issues have missed out on much of the good stuff.

I haven't had cause to go to a mod over anything you've said, no need to worry, i'll only go to the mods if someone starts to get out of hand or says something that is either very offensive to me or is clearly hurting someone else.

Cheers for the feedback mate.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Andist

I'll be brutally honest, as that is what you have asked.

This thread reeks of self-obsession!!!!!!!!!

Hehe

I am quite self obsessed but i do my best not to be, in real life at least.

I guess it stems from all the bullying i suffered were people where constantly critisizing and berating me and it's led to feelings of inadiqucy and insecurity.

My reasons for doing the thread where due to my doing the vids, i figured that seeing as everyone was going to get the chance to see me in person (or as close too) i might as well see how people see me from a forum sense, then a post video sense, and see if there are any comparissons.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Ben24

As someone whos met you in person on 2 occasions I would say your generally very quiet and prefer to hover in the background in social situations. But you do have a good sense of humour and a strong determination to tackle your sa problems and not let them get the better of you. If you do have a weak side its that your on the sensitive side and if something bothers you it really does hit you hard as is obvious with your recent crush problems.

I would say your one of the good guys here and much more easy going in real life than on the forum. I enjoy attending meets with you and hope you keep on going to them.

That's actually one of my most frustraiting difficultys as i often feel i can be far more outgoing and loud in social situations but the SA seriously hold me back, plus a lack of experience may also be a problem. When i'm comforable and confident with a person my outgoing side really shows but i haven't got comfortable enough with you and Moose yet for that to really come out.

[Changingforgood]

erm.......can u just get on wiv the vid's


Look forward to it mate u obviously have lot's of commitment to ur 'recovery' from sa rather than just passively waiting for things to 'happen'. Good on ya matey

[Freespirit]

Originally Posted by Pal

troll someone

Oooh. Whats trolling?

hmmm...my perception of you....


Im not good at this so ill just say your a a**e faced f**king t**t nose son of a b****.

Apart from that you seem ok.

hehe.not really. Im trying to be funny. I dont know loads about you but you come across fine to me. Also your doing a video on SA which shows courage. Its good to see that you are prepared to do something like that. I don't really see anything wrong with you as I don't know you greatly but Im sure if you did there'd be something*. hehe. Do you fart in your sleep? hmmm

( * but that's inevitable as not everyone is perfect and we all have habit and behaviour's which annoy some people,on the other hand that same habit or behaviour might turn someone on.)

Originally Posted by Freespirit

on the other hand that same habit or behaviour might turn someone on.

Probably not the farting in the sleep one though, eh?

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Changingforgood

erm.......can u just get on wiv the vid's


Look forward to it mate u obviously have lot's of commitment to ur 'recovery' from sa rather than just passively waiting for things to 'happen'. Good on ya matey

I will i will.

Patience

I'm practicually good to go but i've been busy with other commitments which wear me out during the day so i'll have to wait until i've got a couple of days free and then i can do it in the early hours where i won't be disturbed.

Also i've been getting boughts of depression which add to my lack of energy.

Plus it wouldn't hurt to do a few practice videos to make sure i understand the software.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Freespirit

Im not good at this so ill just say your a a**e faced f**king t**t nose son of a b****.

*sniff* It's like you've known me for years.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Andrew_uk

Pal,
I like you but i'm gonna lay it out in simple terms.

This post is a blantant attempt to look for acceptance. Nobody here know's you and hence will avoid being nasty.

The video idea is stupid and self absorbed.

Concentrate on other things in your life to sort out and leave this behind you.

This need for others to pat you on the head and say your ok is sad. You should learn to not care what other think about you.

I won't post again but I think this topic is stupid. I might as well ask a whore if she thinks my dick is big!

Andrew

Yer i won't disagree with most of that, i am quite self absorbed and do crave the opinions of others but as i've already stated i was looking for negatives more then positives. Self improvement is my main goal in life and i kinda already know my good points anyway. Besides i figured there's no reason why i can't get some pre video views to compare with the post video views.

If people are holding back because they're afraid of offending me or hurting me then i emphasise again, you won't. I've taken negative feedback all my life and i always take it on the chin.

The reason for the video is to help gain public awareness of SA, i am after all a writer and hoping to go into Journalism and there's nothing better for a writer then to write about what he/she knows. Plus after the death of Matthew Booth many people on here said that SA needs better media attention and i've said the same since i first knew i suffer from it. I origionally was going to do it in form of an article but after seeing the other Youtube SA vids figured i'd get my point across better if i did one of my own and it would be more efficent for when i approach other media avenues to gain better awareness.

There is, i admit, a need in me for those who know me to better understand why i am who i am but i'm not trying to gain "pats on the head", realisticily speaking that is never going to happen, better understanding is what i'm looking for plus a purpose in life!!!

[luckythree]

This is one hell of a pointless thread.

"I might as well ask a whore if she thinks my dick is big!" lol

Sums it up perfectly.

I wish you gd luck in your video pal

[Pal]

Originally Posted by luckythree

This is one hell of a pointless thread.

"I might as well ask a whore if she thinks my dick is big!" lol

Sums it up perfectly.

I wish you gd luck in your video pal

Mikght be worth mentioning that i know a hooker personally who if i asked "is my dick big?" she'd tell me her honest opinion.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Underground?

How has this sudden attack of narcissism came about any way Pal?

I didn't even notice it about you until you made this thread. Now you seem to be like you have a bee in your bonnet about how people percieve you, with pictures and that popping up all over the place.

Is nerves about the video making you question things? If it was me, and I really wanted to do the video, I'd just do, and then let other people watch it. Other peoples validation is never as important as your own.

You'd get a lot more SAUK love if you changed that Edith avatar. (joke)

Not sure, i have been posting pictures up alot more then i used to.

I think i'm just getting more comfortable doing it now and am trying to learn what i can about how i'm seen by others, curiousity is getting the better of me.

I've always been horrendiously insecure about my looks, due to the bullying.

I'll talk this over with my therapist next time i see her.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Underground?

What your doing isn't a bad thing at all, and I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable posting pics and that. Your making full use of the support and feedback you'll get here, and are using it in a good way.

Anyone being as proactive as you are about thier condition and overcoming it deserves respect for it.

Thankyou for your kind words.

I think the crush issue sort of kicked it into me that i need to stop avoid the whole SA and relationship issue and actually start doing something about it.

For example i've booked an appointment with a dermatologist to finially sort out my skin issues (acne, baggy eyes etc), i'm signing up to Aerobics classes to get my fitness back up before i find another Boxing gym and i'm trying to sign up to private FAST classes to help in my self condience issues.

There's a good and bad side to it all as i see it, plus of course the video.

[W!llow]

I was a bit surprised reading this thread. You got some strong responses!! I'm glad you could take it Pal. I'm not sure I would of been able to take it all in such a mature manner. I was surprised that some people thought it was egotistical (in the negative use of the word) to ask or want to know what people think of you, I mean I think it is a postitive thing to want to know how we come across to others. Why not?! It can help us improve socially and also hopefully be encouraging too, which lets face it all human beings need. Obviously its not good to think the world revolves around ourselves but I don't think that it was meant like that at all.

As for the Utube vid, I think its really good you want to do this. If it does help some people understand surely that is a good thing.

I'm surprised how judgemental some SA-ers are. As we fear negative judgements from people I would of thought people would be slower to dish out!

[Pal]

Thanks Willow and Jelly Beans

Negative comments over forums don't really bother me so much to be honest as i'm less likely to take them so personally, besides i did ask people to be honest.

Cheers for the kind words.

Well done, Pal, there's a perception for you: brave

Experienced might be a better word.