I hate christmas

[benny79]

I hate this time of year suicide seems so appealing, alone a depressed for another year, my life is a complete waste of a life, wish I new about sa from a younger age feel I've missed out on everything

[J-D]

me too

[Aelwyn]

Originally Posted by benny79

my life is a complete waste of a life, wish I new about sa from a younger age feel I've missed out on everything

Reading this I thought you must be at least 103. But when I looked at your visitor page I saw that you were a young man. There is so much you can do to start helping yourself. Have you been to your GP? What have you tried so far?

[Flowerbomb]

Nobody should hate xmas really, it lasts for 2 days and that's all.

[buttonlane]

Originally Posted by benny79

I hate this time of year suicide seems so appealing, alone a depressed for another year, my life is a complete waste of a life, wish I new about sa from a younger age feel I've missed out on everything

I feel the same way about my life currently but I dont neccessarily 'hate' Christmas. I just think it can be a sad, very lonely time if your on your own and have no one. It can also be a hurtful reminder to the situation I/you find ourselves in.

Theirs things I like about it and dont. If I had kids Id celebrate it for them, a chance for a good knees up and get together with family (even though you cant stand each other ) but in reality, its aload of bs. Christmas is like mass hypnosis, where everyone has to go along celebrating something without a real logical reason why, without questioning it and something alot of people dont even believe in or worship any way. (Christ) Its the time of year where young folk think they should just 'get stuff'. Its mindless.

I get that its traditional to put up decorations and send cards buy presents, but their is no real meaning behind it anymore and its an EXPENSIVE tradition.

Christmas is an illusion, IT DOESNT REALLY EXIST!

[J-D]

i hate xmas because i dont get any cards and its just a reminder of how lonely i am. last year i sent about 20 cards and got none back that just shows how none of them give a damn about me and how i have no true real friends. it must be about 20 years since i last got a xmas present - apart from the odd £10 or £20 in my xmas card from my parents of which i would probably know what it is as they got it in asda with the rest of the shopping.

to save myself from looking like a loner in front of parents i have retained old xmas cards of past people i knew from uni and occasionally use them to show i got cards from someone.

[buttonlane]

^ That is sad....hope things are better for you this year. Sometimes its nice to know that people are thinking of you, a simple card can mean alot to folk like us.
It is the thought that counts for someone withan SA or depression.

Ill send you a bloody card..you wait and see.

[mind_drift]

The biggest challenge for me at Christmas is pretending to be enjoying myself/happy when inside my heart is darkness. I spent it by myself last year, but that wasn't an enjoyable alternative - so I'll have to grin and bear it

[Nat88]

I tend to pretend Christmas doesn't really exist. I find it stressful buying everyone presents, not because of the money involved but because I want to make sure they really like their gifts. Other than that, I don't put up decorations or have a special dinner and just tend to spend the day either with my dog or with my mum if she decides not to visit grandkids/other family. I'm not too keen on company anyway so I don't get lonely. But regardless, it's a short (if expensive!) holiday and it will soon be over . Maybe the future Christmases will be happier and more people-filled for us all. There's hope yet.

[-Simon-]

It's tough when people push xmas at you as a time for family, friends, sharing, partying etc. when you know that's not what you'll be doing. Decide for yourself whether you want to acknowledge xmas or not, although it's quite hard to ignore it, then decide what it means for you. I've got kids, well they're getting on a bit now, so present-giving is inevitable and I like making them happy. If I'm honest though, the main thing I'm looking forward to is a few days off work with an excuse to eat and drink too much while slobbing out in front of the telly (mostly on my own). I wouldn't do that if it weren't for xmas, so - yay baby jesus!

[Clockface]

I don't get excited about christmas, it just feels like another day to me. Often during December I get anxious and fed up, even depressed! I've got a meal and party (separate events) at work coming up and of course I'm dreading them because I'm likely to be an outcast while everyone else is enjoying themselves and effortlessly getting on with each other as if they were one big group of close friends (is that possible between 100 or so people??). I'm going along as I don't want to not go and then be seen as boring and weird, and then subsequently not get invited out to future events and friday drinks. I missed a couple of xmas parties in my old job, which just confirmed people's (inaccurate) view of me as being weird.

However in this instance I'm hoping I can offer hope to other SA folk by feeling the fear and doing it anyway, but in my case I'm predicting already that I'm going to come away from it feeling even more disliked and wondering how I can ever make new friends.

I understand how others on this thread feel. I'm gonna feel kinda lonely too, which is a feeling you can get even when you are around people if you have SA.

[Saponara_Immobile]

I don't really like christmas but I do ok avoiding it in general up until the day or day before. I'm currently debating whether I should go and see my folks though, as last couple of years have been pretty bad with the last one me walking out and leaving cos I couldn't cope being around my Dad, and the one before me getting grief for not saying much. It'll just be the three of us like it has been for a few years now I think as brother lives abroad. I saw them a couple of months ago and my mum says it is fine if I don't visit, but I'm sure she'd rather me be there even though as a family we're not exactly big on xmas.

I'm not really bothered at the thought of being alone on christmas day, cos I've done it once before in the past (had no choice that time) and it was fine really cos as long as you don't turn the telly on you don't notice it much and it's just like any other boring day. I just don't know what to do, in terms of visiting parents or not and that decision is stressing me out quite a bit.

My flatmate is quite annoyingly into christmas though, and is putting decorations up so I won't be able to avoid it completely.

[tal10]

I must agree, Christmas is even more awful than the rest of the year, the prospect of having to emerge from hiding and being forced to communicate with people is stomach churningly awful.....the fella who invented it should be crucified! Be positive if you can, 3 weeks and it will all be over......'till the next time!

[Generation Erm]

As much as i dislike the phoniness of christmas in addition to fighting the old black dog and sad i always try to make an effort for my nephew. i find the day itself especially exhausting and need to escape after dinner for some me time in the wilderness with basil, a hip flask of fine whiskey and a pipe. i feel blessed to share those moments cos they don't last forever.