School is the best days of your life. Really?

[Spideysenses]

I never understood the old codgers in the pub who would say that school is the best days of your life

[Dougella]

No, secondary school in particular was the worst time ever for me!

[LittleMissMouse]

Yes and no - I can see why people say that. There is no grown up stuff to worry about, it's not even on your radar that the car is due an mot, bills need paying, the garden is a mess and needs sorting, the fridge needs replacing, all that grown up tedium just isn't there.

And sixth form, that for me at least was the one time in my life that the thing about if you work hard you'll get what you want was actually true. It's the one time when the world is really your oyster in terms of making decisions about what you want to do with your life.

The rest of the school days though, yeah, certainly not the best days.

[Toxic]

Absolute Bollocks

Secondary school did me no favours, I was bullied for most of it and I feel I got the better end of the stick, there was a couple who even topped themselves.

I don't know though..maybe Uni? Uni days were probably the best. I didn't need to get a job because the student finance company kept giving me money (fair enough I'm paying it back now but) and half the terms I only had about 3hrs of lectures a week. I was literally an unemployed bum who could do whatever I wanted, getting paid more than jobseekers, I didn't need to sign on yet if anyone asked you could just tell them you were a student and they thought it was very interesting!

The rest of it can nob off.

[choirgirl]

Yes, same for me with sixth form. And knowing you'd soon be out of there, and people being more mature.

I actually had quite a laugh at school, some of the time, but dear me, it gave me such bad internalised lesbophobia. I was at a girls' school for secondary. I have mixed feelings about that. Good: probably harder to get outed, got better at social skills; bad; terrible internalised lesbophobia. I was lucky that I was under a certain amount of pressure to achieve, because the other messages from the culture weren't that helpful to me personally. Also I had loads of time for other stuff. Uni was better though. Wish I could go back and do it all a bit differently. Goddammit I miss the 90s.

Re students as unemployed bums - there were always people who had it in for students because of that. I cycled between being an unemployed bum and working said bum off. I didn't leave with any debt except a small overdraft. Goddammit, I miss the 90s.

[Amara 94]

In High School, most likely, maybe you aren't at your healthiest but you have more potential to be your healthiest as you have less body injuries, apparently build muscles much quicker than older adults and are reaching your peak appearance most times. So physically I think your teen years are probably your best.

However School doesn't allow too much freedom. Same can be said for a minimum wage 9 to 5 though, which is worse in certain ways. If you are bullied School certainly isn't the best time of your life. At least, I suppose, you have freedom from money so you don't have to worry about getting fired. I think school bullying can be bad but kids can also learn to stand up for their selves most times. School I think offers opportunity and some level of freedom but then if we don't take advantage of that it definitely isn't the best time of our lives. More so, if we are successful adults, that's most likely a better time than School.

[Percy]

School was the worst days of my life, not the best.

[Tembo]

School was a big pile of turd for me.

[firemonkey]

Public school in the early to mid 1970s was awful for me . I was subjected to severe verbal bullying, and was probably the most unpopular boy in the 400 year + history of the school . Not longer after starting there the social anxiety started. That was followed by increasing depression.

The last 2 years there I was in a state of unrelenting high anxiety. Acutely aware that I wasn't up to coping with the increased independence required for university life, but also not wanting to disappoint my parents . At the end of the next to last term I took an overdose . Not wanting to disappoint my parents I went back for what should have the A level term . I lasted about a week before going to the school sanatorium and from there being transferred to Severalls hospital near Colchester. That was my 1st psych admission in May 1975, but I'd been a psychiatric outpatient since autumn 1973.

For some undoubtedly warped reason I follow the school on Twitter, and will congratulate students if I read that they've done well at something.

[Marco]

I used to have fond memories of primary school, which seemed relatively anxiety free days for me. However, now I believe that it was during that period of my life the seeds of my social anxiety were sown.

[gregarious_introvert]

I really don't want to say this (there is a first time for everything!) but I agree with TD,P - the adage is about school days, not school itself; I agree also that childhood is a time of discovery and wonder, it's the time when we learn the most - and with very few responsibilities. I can understand why, for many people, it would be the best time of their lives.

For me, however, school days were the worst of my life: it wasn't so much the relentless bullying, but the social exclusion and the intense loneliness. Life, with the exception of a few blips here and there, has been getting continuously better ever since school and there is still joy to be had in new discoveries, I am finally filled with excitement about what each day will bring, about the future. Of course, much of this is the result of having shaken the spectre of depression (even though, right now, I'm struggling with my mood at times, it's a long way from depression because I know the reasons behind my feelings - and the things I do are making me happy, it's the loneliness when I'm not doing anything which is the issue) and being in control of my anxieties, able to embrace life and meet the world on my terms.

I suppose that, if I'd been able to live the way I am now thirty years ago, I'd probably be feeling jaded by now, but as things stand, everything I do just gives me a zest to do more, for as long as my health and energy will allow. For the first time in my life, I'm not going to sleep not wanting to wake. My school days may have been the worst of my life, but that has enabled me to look to the future with excited eyes and do what I can to make the most of every day.

[joklend]

That axiom annoyed me at the time but now I'm in my 30s I can see the truth in it. I agree with TDP.

I mean... school is such a hypersocial environment and I suffered the negative impacts of that but also the positives. Most of the closest friendships I've ever had were as a child and teenager. Now people are just faces that pass by and leave.

[limey123]

I coped ok with secondary school, but sixth form where I changed to a very different type of schooling (i.e. public school) was awful for me. I just couldn't cope (I didn't know way back then of course that I was autistic). Great for my grades - despite my comp background I got better A-levels than nearly all these public schoolboys, but I still have nightmares about the other aspects. I never fitted in and was almost universally hated.

Sadly one thing you realise quickly about adult life is that much of the bullying and cliqueyness and nastiness continues into it.

[MissKatie]

I found my formative years very very difficult

I didn't have to worry about being made homeless or not having enough money to eat or being unable to get a job because I find interviews impossible because I want to sell ME to an interviewer and not some BS corporate drone that they actually want.

So in that respect it was great lol
We were poor and it was at time a struggle but whilst we never went on regular holidays and often only had bread on a Sunday, I never went hungry and was loved.

[choirgirl]

Oh I see, yes, then I agree. Hard to separate school from it though. I had most of my moments of clarity in the school holidays, so hard not to think of the role of school in things.

Yes, I suppose so, but I think it is dependent on having a good enough childhood. And it depends on how good one's adulthood is, but I think it's common even for people with happy lives to lose something from childhood, the lack of responsibility, the sense of wonder and just being, learning and growing without conscious effort. Ofc when you are a child you think as an adult you can do what you want. But then you don't, or can't, and you've lost the chilldhood stuff as well. I suppose each era has its potential joys and costs. The other thing from childhood and adolescence that is good enough, is the ability of bury the bad stuff at a subterranean level, so it doesn't mess up your ability to grow up and enjoy things, but then it lies in wait in adulthood and can cause a right old mess.

[Sunrise]

Anyone who says their school years were the best days of their life must live a very boring, uneventful existence. Do you think someone like David Attenborough would say that his school years were the best days of his life? I can't help but think he would say that there's the odd thing he's experienced since he left school that he's found much more interesting, enjoyable and rewarding.

As a metaphor for enjoying the innocence of childhood and not having all the responsibilities and other stresses of adulthood then I suppose I agree. However if anyone literally feels like their greatest achievements in life happened during their time at school then they can't have done much as an adult. Imagine the sense of regret you would feel if you were on your deathbed aged 95 and your most vivid memory was that time Mr Jenkins gave you detention for doodling all over the cover of your maths book.

[KellyUK]

As someone who didn't have friends at school, those days certainly weren't the best days of my life. You really need to be part of a good friendship group to enjoy parts of your time at school and no bullying teachers, which thankfully I didn't have (though I remember one French teacher throwing a board rubber across the room in frustration once because the class were either playing up too much or many of the pupils hadn't done their homework.

Didn't like doing homework either, wasn't motivated enough. Thankfully I did get decent grades, though not great.

[KellyUK]

Originally Posted by DiamonD

I'm in two minds when it comes to that particular saying. I always remember older people saying "School days are the best days of your life" and used to think "Oh get lost" but now i'm older i see what they mean.

I don't at all mean that School was the best time of my life because i had a huge phobia of it which i felt was never acknowledged or even recognised by my School. Still to this day i'm extremely angry and bitter about it as i 100% think that is the main reason why i'm so f***ed up today and i do blame it for ruining my whole life. But i do remember apart from School i was relatively happy, had friends in the street to hang out and laugh with. Everything in life is aimed at you when you are young so there was so much music around i loved and lots of TV shows and movies. There always seemed to be something to do.

Fast forward 30 years and now what is there to do? I can't remember the last time i was happy. Music is generic, auto tuned crap. 90% of TV is utter tripe and i have no interest in watching "Modern" movies, unless they're Christmas themed of course

So i do kind of understand the saying a little more now. The years when you are in School are probably the best years of your life. Speaking only for myself i have to say my life never got any better after School finished.

I totally get this. Whilst I was unhappy and anxious at school, I was at least content at home when I wasn't getting into trouble for being naughty.

As a child you're often less aware of how awful the world can be, you have no responsibilities in terms of having to earn a living and life in general can seem magical - Christmas time and watching great movies etc. All that is missing in adulthood and you really need great family and friends to get you through life, which some of us don't have. I have a decent relationship with my parents but that's it really and I'm dreading the time when they're no longer here.

[choirgirl]

^^^I have led a very boring, uneventful existence and I've never been able to answer the 'what is your greatest achievement' question. I've always loved the idea of having a calling in life, that would keep you going through the hard times, compensate you for other disappointments and lead you to having interesting adventures, but I don't. I've just become more boring.