The allure of small towns/villages

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Do people with SA experience this. That they find small towns/villages more appealling than bigger towns & cities?

I live in a medium sized town and it agitates me. But you find to live in smaller towns, they are more heavily demanded, and therefore you can pay a premium to live there.

[AuroraSky]

Sometimes I think it might be nice to live somewhere small-ish or medium sized beside the water, which might encourage me to walk more. Places like Helensburgh or Saltcoats. But in practical terms I paid a lot to put in carpets and bed frame here and it would cost a lot to get all my stuff moved to a new housing association place, even if they were willing to move me - and I can't think why they would give me priority, given that I have a place now so aren't at risk of homelessness. Practically speaking, my current place makes the most sense especially with GP, pharmacy, small supermarkets, cafes a stone throw away. And if I needed specialist treatment for my bipolar or my diabetes or something else as I get older, it would just be a couple of miles away in my big city of Glasgow whereas if I was somewhere small it might be 20+ miles away and me with no car.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Fair enough, I guess then you can take trips to places beside the water. So then you have the best of both worlds.

[Dougella]

I live in a small town and I do like it. I get very overwhelmed in bigger towns and cities, it's too busy and there's too much going on.
On the other hand I used to live in a very small village that didn't even have a shop, and with no car that was very isolating and pretty inconvenient.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

I agree I was thinking yesterday if a place has no supermarket, (or shop), it's just far too small a place.

[Tembo]

I feel I’m the opposite. My SA isn’t so bad in busy large places, because I disappear into the crowds and don’t feel as noticeable.
Although maybe I’d feel differently if I actually lived in London in a £2000 a month box room in a rough part of the city.

I feel I’d either like to live in a really isolated place, or a really busy place. I’m not sure I like the in between so much, which seems wierd.

I live in a medium sized town, and when walking about I recognise people and find that a little bit anxiety provoking. Was that the guy who saw me have that unhinged rant once? Was that the lady who saw me falling around drunk once? Was that the bloke that stared at me when I had a panic attack? Did that person from work just see me? That kind of thing.

[Spuggy]

It can be a big help.

I live in a village with little activity and no shops or pubs (although both are available within a 15 min walk) and with plenty of greenspace and quiet walks from my doorstep.

I do find it peaceful but very helpful too. Sometimes just a walk around the garden listening to the birds or even just the wind can somehow settle the mind.

It does work for me.

[BFG_]

I grew up in a small village it was rubbish and when I had to go get a job in the real world I was totally unprepared for people from a different background to me. It's like they were ferral wild animals.

[Dougella]

^ Where did you go to school? I still went to school in a large town (had to get a bus for an hour, that wasn't fun) so it wasn't that I wasn't used to being around different kinds of people.

[BFG_]

^small village school then snobby secondary school full of posh twats. Not much of a starting point when your first jobs on a building site.

[limey123]

I've lived in villages and I've lived in capital cities. Villages are more charming but I preferred the relative anonymity of the city (not to mention the greater cultural offerings).

[biscuits]

Living near a city is the best for me because there is so much to do - socially and individually.

[Moksha]

What small towns and villages? You'd have to search pretty hard to find a sleepy/peaceful hideaway. Most of the villages around here have had awful new estates added on to them. And the little village lanes now cope with the traffic of an A-road. I live in a village on the edge of a market town. Frankly, I'd get more peace in the centre of Manchester. All I hear night and day is the screaming of car engines and explosions from stupid modified exhausts. The little village my grandparents lived in is now more like a small town.

[Dougella]

^ I think you must live in a very busy area. There are loads of small towns and villages, where I live now and where I used to live in a couple of different counties.

[Hayman]

It can be a bit of a double-edged sword for me, this one...

I live in a mid-sized town and whilst I don't particularly like it or it's people, it serves my basic needs reasonably well.

My brother recently moved to a small village in Suffolk and on the whole, it looks lovely and exactly the sort of place where I could picture myself living. It's large enough to have it's own small supermarket-type of place, a few cafes and pubs... However, it lacks a railway station which I think in this day and age is becoming a relatively basic necessity again. The nearest station is almost five miles away - so not exactly within walking distance unless you're fit and have lots of spare time.

From a Social Anxiety perspective, I also ran across another less-thought-of problem when I visited him a month or so ago... I had three random strangers say "Good Morning" to me, simply when passing me by. I appreciate this is merely being polite and of course I returned the gesture, but I'm really not comfortable in doing so. I just want to mind my own business. It's not something I've ever faced in the mid-sized town I live in. I'm just a 'nobody' and I quite like that.

[Dougella]

^ Oh definitely in smaller towns and villages if you go for a walk anywhere, especially in a park or by the river or whatever people will say "good morning" as they go past.

[Rocket Spud]

Whilst i appreciate the desire to ghost through life, it's no hardship to return a 'good whatever' to people in passing. In 99% of cases no more is said, it's a no strings attached situation. You make it sound like assault. I understand the reluctance and hesitance when it's something you don't usually experience (especially from an SA pov) but you soon get used to it - much like any social aspect, do it enough and you'll be fine.

[Tembo]

I lived in a small village for about a year or so. I did say hello or good morning to people in passing, and most of the time they gave back a confused reply, or didn’t reply at all. Maybe it’s because I’m in the Saaaff East?

I must say I do like it when strangers acknowledge me. It makes me slightly less alienated.

I’ve noticed it’s mostly older people who say hello. Is it because they are from a different generation when people actually spoke to each other, or is it just that people generally become more community minded in older age?

[Jen.]

I live in a village, but it's not too isolated since it merges into a couple of towns and is only a few miles outside the city. The only time people say good morning in the street is if it's before 7am or has been snowing. People (always older) do say good morning around the nature reserve, but only at weekends. I don't think anyone ever says good afternoon though. It seems like stranger acknowledgement only happens until 12pm.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

I don't think it's necessary a SA thing that a person is not keen to receive, or give acknowledgement passing another. I think it's just a people thing, some people are ok with it, some prefer to be more private. The other day I had a great one. This guy who I would call 'well-to-do', he looked like someone quite significant, who didn't want to exchange hi's as he walked briskly but he made an open accommodating gesture (with his hands) that someone had said hi but with the assertion he was on a purpose of his own. Wish I had the social skills to pull that off. But it's a true point it's is by nature only a very light encounter.

[T]

I'm quite lucky i guess i live in a medium size village and on the doorstep is a big city, i don't mind where i live to be fair, if i do go out i don't mind bumping into people i know these days guess i need abit of social interact these days!

[Mr. Nobody]

They both offer something, but I'm in a small village and I've always liked the fact that I can walk for only about 4 or 5 minutes and I'm straight out into open countryside with views of lochs, hills and mountains,

I have a car, so I can usually get into the big city in under half an hour if I need to, for a concert, or a film or something?

So, I suppose I have the best of both worlds,

It's really quiet here in the viquite too, so I'm probably a bit spoiled?