Decreasing self belief

[firemonkey]

The older I get the less certain I get about my ability to cope with or do things.

[Professor Willow]

^ I have begun to feel like that, admittedly I'm only 30, but my self belief or confidence is considerably lower now than it ever has been, I used to feel able to cope with change a lot better and had some enthusiasm but now I just doubt myself all the time, nothing is worth trying because it won't work out, that sort of mind set.

[Ben1981]

Same problem for me. I'm not happy with the way my life is and need to change a lot of things to make it better. I have ideas how to improve but lack the confidence to actually go through with anything.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

It's odd how this works isn't it, because the older we get the more evidence we have that we do actually cope, do things and get through them. Yet despite that, we can actually feel less able rather than more.

[Hayman]

I'm 31 and I can truthfully say that in many ways, my confidence is about as low as it's been since my mid-teens. I feel like a child in an adult's body and what doesn't help is the way people have stigmatised me over the years – and continue to do so to this day.

In short, I’m struggling to cope with myself and how life has panned out for me – despite my best efforts. It seems I’m utterly powerless to stop myself from eventually becoming nothing but a lonely old man who no one knows. I can’t make friends to save my life and people who communicate with me take me the wrong way or joke about me (hence where a lot of my Social Anxiety developed from). As a result of not having these basics, none of the usual windows of opportunity to progress beyond that have ever materialised for me. It's left me with little or no motivation, no confidence (with people telling me to somehow "be" confident out of thin air ) and regular spells of depression. Seeing how others of my age and and behave goes genuinely make me feel three inches tall. I nothing in common with anyone of my age and haven't since the days of High School.

I honestly don't have an answer to this. Believe me, I’m searching for one and since turning 30, I've done considerably more in order to try and find a way of fast-tracking my life and bringing it reasonably in-line with others of my age. Sadly, all the evidence simply points to me getting further and further behind by the month – never mind the year… In return, my self-esteem, which is practically non-existent, must now be in negative figures…

I have tried, really tried, to turn things around for myself in recent years and especially over the last twelve to eighteen months. I've done things that I wouldn’t have even considered doing five years ago and yet, nothing has actually moved me forwards in life. I'm still stuck at the 'starting line' as such and at my age, you already kind-of know those years of chances and opportunity have already gone. The sad thing is that I never had those chances other people had…which is what lead me to being diagnosed with depression three times during my 20's alone…

I know pretty much exactly what it would take to notably improve myself. I feel I've done more legwork over a considerably longer period of time than others also, to achieve those goals. Nothing ever happens though – and this is why I feel I'm just not cut-out to get anywhere in life. There's no indication of anything ever changing either.

I need a major boost in confidence and, despite what others say, I cannot possibly do this alone. I'm tired of having spent much of my life feeling as if I'm swimming against the tide – with others telling me to swim harder – whilst I look across to see the tide is flowing in the correct direction for those barking the instructions…

[Cheshire Cat]

Same here. Getting older has brought with it the classic, 'I learned to stop caring so much' attitude that is so often reported by late 30+ somethings as a bonus, but I experience it as demotivation and increased hopelessness, rather than freedom.

[firemonkey]

I think for me it's an increasing awareness of my own limitations, and the fact that a less than holistic psychiatric service has missed/overlooked a lot of stuff over the years. The lack of help and support for comorbid issues is alarming.