Self flagellation

[firemonkey]

I think I am acutely aware of my deficiencies and struggle to see any positive points beyond being caring and loyal. For all the false bravado, that's occasionally on display, I very much see myself as inferior though not a bad person. While self flagellating myself it's hard to hang on to the fact that others are far from perfect themselves and that we are all capable of putting our foot in our mouth at times.

[Dougella]

Personally I think that being caring and loyal are some of the most important qualities someone can have.

[Appear]

I can identify with this at the moment. I find it hard not to see myself as a bad person too though - I can be so shitty in so many ways. Sometimes I think it's positive thing to have some awareness of it, though it doesn't seem to actually help me change things.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Caring and loyal? Well, that's fantastic and puts you head and shoulders above so many people as far as I'm concerned. What a brilliant foundation to build upon.

I know where you are coming from though. I used to be quite the expert at beating myself up and seeing only the worst aspects of myself. Where does that get us, though? What does it achieve? What cost does it have on us? Is it really worth that cost?

We all mess up though. None of us a perfect. Nowhere near, in fact. 'Self-awareness' where we only see the good in ourselves or only the bad in ourselves is not self-awareness at all. True self-awareness sees the whole. If we are open to seeing the whole then we can get a more balanced picture. We can develop those aspects we value and work on those aspects we don't care for so much. We all have both sides and a lot of grey inbetween.

You always come across as a very decent human being, so maybe you could allow yourself to see the whole of yourself and maybe give yourself a break. There is much in there to value and respect. Of course, you'll mess up at times. You'll put your foot in your mouth. But so will I and so will everyone else on this site. So will everyone out there in the wider world too.

A little self-compassion can go a long way. We really could do with treating ourselves as we would treat other people at times. I mean we would not berate anyone we care for because they are imperfect, would we? Would we really be as harsh on anyone we care about as we are to ourselves? So, a little bit of self-care can go a long way.