How many different people do you speak to in an average day?

[Moksha]

I mean

1) Face to face (not online)

2) Having a proper conversation, by which I mean longer than a minute. In other words, not just nodding and saying "good morning" or asking for a latte in Starbucks.

[anxiouslondoner]

Typically none. As in less than one a day on average.
Today I will probably speak to nobody except the Sainsbury's delivery driver, and that will be a category 2 non-conversation, no doubt, just filling time while I bag my groceries.

[Dougella]

Speak out loud to? One, the person I live with.

[Rmw86]

I probably have a handful of conversations a day because of my work and being self employed ive just had to get used to it especially with paying customers. Its probably more meaningful conversations with people that actually interest me is something I don't get too often. I can talk for ages with people (something I couldn't say 10years ago) but in general end up either getting bored and saying something that doesn't go down well (normally the truth) I think I've learnt over time although I get anxious in certain situations when It comes to talking I can do it and now tell myself if I can't I probably don't want to and thats ok and dont beat myself up about it.

Talking online definitely got me to somehow do it offline.

[gregarious_introvert]

Originally Posted by anxiouslondoner

a category 2 non-conversation

AL, we need a list of the conversation (and non-conversation) categories and definitions!

For me, it depends on the day: today, it will be none (as I'm at home, preparing for my trip tomorrow) but tomorrow, it could be anything from none to maybe five or six. I suppose an average (considering that I'm at home about one third of my time, out alone another third and in potential social situations the other third) would be two or three - but how meaningful these might be is another variable in itself.

[Tembo]

If I’m at work, I will be talking to about 4-5 different people about work related things. On my breaks, I may have a small non-work related conversation with 1-2 people.

When I’m not at work, I’ll just be talking to 1 person, unless I’m meeting a friend or two, so that may increase to 2-3.

[Dougella]

^ Does your mother not hug you? (You don't have to answer if that's too much of a personal question.)

[Moksha]

I mentioned in another thread that my SA has massively improved over the last few years, and that I'm doing a course in sport fitness. Anyway, yesterday we had to attend a sporting event and treat the competitors. I'm 44, and yesterday I had conversations (I mean proper, face to face conversations that lasted several minutes) with at least 20 different people, most of whom I'd never met before. That's more than I've had in my life (during a single day I mean). Normally, I can go a week in which I only speak to one person. Sometimes I can go three months in which I only speak to two different people.

Right now I'm sort of stunned by it all. I'm weirdly pleased, even elated, but also flat and sad at the same time. I could cry for all those wasted years. Yesterday, I actually got pleasure from just being around other people - talking, making jokes, etc. Why couldn't this change have happened when I was 24 instead of 44

[AuroraSky]

I talk to 3-4 people a day on voice online, which I really value. In person I very rarely see anyone I know, but I do see support workers twice a week (I help contribute to the cost) which I am sure is very valuable too. With my mental health problems it would be easy for me to slide and neglect self-care and such if I was totally on my own.

[Indigo_]

Usually one, the person I live with. Some days it's two. If we visit my partner's parents then up to five in total.

[SpectralOwls]

The only time I ever hold an in-person conversation is at work right now. It's rare that customers talk to me that long, but I have a coworker that loves talking with me. I'm more of the listener though in every conversation, which is fine. I hate talking. XD Whenever I do say something though, it seems groundbreaking to her. It makes me laugh thinking about it.

I guess I have been adopted by another extroverted coworker as well. We hang out on rare occasions.

... I think that's the only way I can have in-person convos. If an extrovert adopts me. LOL!

[Dougella]

^^ Your baby counts as a person too though don't they?!

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Moksha

I mentioned in another thread that my SA has massively improved over the last few years, and that I'm doing a course in sport fitness. Anyway, yesterday we had to attend a sporting event and treat the competitors. I'm 44, and yesterday I had conversations (I mean proper, face to face conversations that lasted several minutes) with at least 20 different people, most of whom I'd never met before. That's more than I've had in my life (during a single day I mean). Normally, I can go a week in which I only speak to one person. Sometimes I can go three months in which I only speak to two different people.

Right now I'm sort of stunned by it all. I'm weirdly pleased, even elated, but also flat and sad at the same time. I could cry for all those wasted years. Yesterday, I actually got pleasure from just being around other people - talking, making jokes, etc. Why couldn't this change have happened when I was 24 instead of 44

That's great though and maybe it just hasn't been the right time up until now.

[Chess&Junkfood]

Outside of work and family, not many. I do speak to my friend a few times a month. Who I have known for over 20 years. I did have more friends in my 20's, but we all just drifted apart. I keep meaning to make more friends, but what with not feeling my best at times, it can be a challenge to put myself out there.


That being said, I like the sound of SpectralOwls idea of being adopted by an extrovert. Where I think I would make for a worthy candidate! What with being a good listener. As well as being polite and courteous. I'm even house trained! Well, more or less! So if you are interested in starting up this business idea SpectralOwls, then count me in! I've even come up with a great tagline for your potential business idea:


An Introvert is for life, not just for Christmas


Anyway


I better get to work on my house training.

[gregarious_introvert]

Originally Posted by Moksha

Why couldn't this change have happened when I was 24 instead of 44

As Dougella says, maybe it wasn't the right time until now - on the positive side, you've arrived at this stage a decade earlier than I did and you still have a lot of time in your life to enjoy it.

Those earlier years weren't wasted, they were making you the person you are now - and perhaps you will appreciate what you have now all the more for them.

[SpectralOwls]

@Chess&Junkfood - LOL! I love that!

You'll be my first customer then, with a discount even!

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^ Your baby counts as a person too though don't they?!

Well, she doesn't talk back, so I don't have conversations with her I mostly talk to her and she hits me or tries to pull my hair out

[Tonkin]

Outside of the house, either 1 (usually different people from a small selection) or 0, depending on my schedule.

Even then, that 1 is usually through circumstance rather than any plans that have been made.

If that circumstance changed, then it would be 0.

Day to day I don't really mind. But when I stop to think about it, it's pretty bleak.

Another interesting question might be, how many people do you meet up with and speak to for purely social reasons? Not work, shops, school run, etc. Actually arrange to meet up for a chat or do something social.

[limey123]

1 or 2 most days, if we're not counting online or phone calls.

[Consolida]

3 a day, face to face: My husband, my son and my mother.
In some ways my life has become rather insular, if that's the right word. It would be nice to have some female friends to chat with but the sort of people that I feel comfortable with and that would like someone like me have been extremely hard, if not impossible, to come by.

[MissKatie]

At home, one, my housemate
At work maybe three or four.

It's not even anxiety based anymore, I just don't want to talk to people lol

[Marco]

Outside of work and apart from my wife, I rarely get into proper conversation with anyone. Occasionally I do with my neighbour, who is friendly and easy to talk to, but very few others. I usually rely on someone else initiating and leading the conversation which, rather sadly, makes it difficult for me to engage with other quiet people like myself.

[blancmange]

Only my Mum or Dad, so one. Sometimes there will be a hello from neighbours, gym people or dog walkers, but that's not daily.

[Sunrise]

Because of the job I do quite a few, probably about 20-30 on an average day? Possibly even more that that. Although it's almost always inane chit-chat that doesn't lead anywhere, often with strangers or people who I don't really know at all, and I can't say I really gain much from it. It never leads anywhere or results in friendship or any sort of real connection with anyone. I think when it comes to conversation quality is definitely more important that quantity.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Indigo_

Well, she doesn't talk back, so I don't have conversations with her I mostly talk to her and she hits me or tries to pull my hair out

I'm sure that means she is trying to communicate

[Indigo_]

^ She does wave at me now too

[choirgirl]

1 if you're not including the phone. Yes, I do need to get a job outside the house.