tell lies - Page 12

Mr. Spaceman · #**331** 11th April 2018, 00:38

Sometimes when I'm bored, I will scroll through the members list and randomly select some long abandoned account with like 6 posts from 2009, and I will write something abusive on their visitor message board. It gives me a little thrill I mean who's ever going to know hehehe

This of course is the Tell Lies thread, I'd never actually do anything so silly and immature no way, ask anyone who knows me.

Kevin Hodge · #**332** 11th April 2018, 12:19

^ lol

sometimes i feel like my only friend is the city i live in

Kevin Hodge · #**333** 11th April 2018, 21:54

i broke my back

anxiouslondoner · #**334** 11th April 2018, 22:41

I love life

Kevin Hodge · #**335** 11th April 2018, 22:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by anxiouslondoner

I love life

/lie mode off

i keep getting youtube videos i'm watching interrupted by some environmental message/advert about reducing waste...it starts off by saying something like "we all want to save the planet", and in my frustration i find myself shouting "NO I DON'T I HOPE IT GETS ENGULFED WITH FLAMES AND HARD RADIATION" and by the time i click to skip the ad, i feel a bit sad about my utterances :|

anyways hope that life becomes more lovable soon, and now that i have said that, only NOW can i switch lie mode back ON

/lie mode enabled

i like turtles

Kevin Hodge · #**336** 17th April 2018, 22:07

i can't decide whether or not i am ready for this jelly

Mr. Nobody · #**337** 15th May 2018, 12:57

I've never done my dishes in the bath

Sunshine Recorder · #**338** 15th May 2018, 21:17

I once set a world record in indoor hang gliding.

anxiouslondoner · #**339** 15th May 2018, 21:35

Jeremy Corbyn resurrected my hamster.

anxiouslondoner · #**340** 15th May 2018, 22:01

I have a snowglobe on my desk, inside which the entire cast of Dad's Army are hiding, miniaturised and in cryogenic suspension, waiting to be summoned back to save England.

Sunshine Recorder · #**341** 15th May 2018, 22:40

I once won a homebrew beer brewing competition, except it wasn't beer. It was my wee.

Mr. Spaceman · #**342** 16th May 2018, 00:09

I had my first period today

anxiouslondoner · #**343** 16th May 2018, 00:12

I used to be the pope of Kidderminster. Not many people realise that Kidderminster has its own pope, this is because of a schism with the Catholic Church in 1405 over the rule "thou shalt not wear a sombrero on Thursdays"
I got the job from an ad in the paper, thought it was a paper round. Ended up having to do mass and three exorcisms before I noticed something was wrong. I resigned but they let me keep the hat as a souvenir.

Kevin Hodge · #**344** 16th May 2018, 11:59

i love the nhs and feel a warm, wet, tingly, somewhat tight yet quivering sense of nationalistic pride whenever i think of it

Kevin Hodge · #**345** 16th May 2018, 22:19

me and gandalf
in the bushes

...

he made me feel like a girl

Franz of Franzylvania · #**346** 24th May 2018, 21:41

They call me tit arse because I split the atom.

Franz of Franzylvania · #**347** 24th May 2018, 21:43

^ that's pure conjecture

Kevin Hodge · #**348** 25th May 2018, 10:27

My favourite body part is the tit arse

Kevin Hodge · #**349** 25th May 2018, 10:28

Oh and also i do not find my avatar appetising at all times

Sunshine Recorder · #**350** 27th May 2018, 12:45

I just bought myself a flying Mitsubishi Lancer.

Vienna · #**351** 27th May 2018, 18:26

I've just won 50 million on the lottery and I want to share it with everyone. My phone number is 07549557438967 and if you can do an impression of geldolf saying ' give us your money!' you're in with a share

Sunshine Recorder · #**352** 31st May 2018, 18:24

I have slept with over ten thousand women.

Pink*Lady · #**353** 31st May 2018, 20:00

I taught Theresa May to do her gurning face.

Sunshine Recorder · #**354** 1st June 2018, 17:23

I just registered for the naked Twister tournament at the UK Games Expo.

Sunshine Recorder · #**355** 7th June 2018, 21:34

I lost in a spot-the-differences tournament to Stevie Wonder.

Franz of Franzylvania · #**356** 8th June 2018, 22:00

My fat, sluggish worm needs worm-loving.

Raven. · #**357** 12th August 2018, 00:38

I died. No, really, I did die. Like proper death and stuff. But now I'm alive again.

anxiouslondoner · #**358** 16th August 2018, 07:03

I'm a carefree cardboard penguin called Raul.

Kevin Hodge · #**359** 30th August 2018, 00:01

before the permian extinction event, england covered almost half the globe

Sunshine Recorder · #**360** 20th October 2018, 23:54

Because of my malleable vocal talent, I have been approached by 20th Century Fox Records to provide 'remastered' vocals for Barry White's back catalogue.