#1
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Conversation
Who else struggles with this? Conversation wise I am very much a follower,not a leader, and really struggle to initiate conversations.
Sometimes it's easier for me to chat than at other times. It can be hard knowing what to say. People will often ask what you have been doing as a conversation starter and that stumps me. The reason it stumps me? I don't do much to stimulate a conversation from such a question. I am,in essence, a very boring person . My life revolves around eat,drink,sleep, internet and tv and not much else. |
#2
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Re: Conversation
I struggle with this too if I don't know people, and I'm terrible at feigning interest in what someone's saying if I'm either bored or just don't want to talk. I particularly hate open-ended questions because I feel like I'm being pressurised into divulging more than I'd like to, especially if I have no interest in continuing the conversation. Most people love it when someone wants to get to know them because it makes them feel validated, but I can only feel that way if I have a genuine connection with them, and that's rare.
Last year I met a distant relative (who is Australian) for the first time and I was dreading it because I was told she was very outgoing so was worried about being bombarded. We hit it off though, and she kind of took me under her wing and she'll be visiting again in a couple of years. |
#3
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Re: Conversation
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Verbal communication is the biggest struggle for me. Coz of getting tongue-tied, blushing, feeling put on the spot or the centre of attention, revealing info about myself... I often give short answers, which doesn't really help the other person to continue the conversation. Firemonkey, do you really believe you're a boring person? I think many people would describe themselves that way, but everyone's unique in their own way - which actually can be really interesting when seen from another's POV. |
#4
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Re: Conversation
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Firstly there is a lot more to you than that you are always researching things and learning new things. Secondly, I think anxiety makes us set the bar far too high for how clever or witty we need to be. Most people's conversations if you overhear them, are very, very simple. |
#5
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Re: Conversation
I'm very reticent in conversation. People say I don't let them in. I suspect it is because when I was growing up I was mocked and bullied by my family and at school for my geeky interests so I learned to give very little away. I also don't have much curiosity about others which makes it hard to find questions to ask.
Also -people often talk about things like job uncertainty or politics etc, which can sometimes be anxiety triggers for me. So I especially try to avoid 'glass half empty' people like my next door neighbour the doom merchant! |
#6
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Re: Conversation
I'm terrible at speaking to people i don't know, or don't know very well. I even struggle with members of my own family. I feel more at ease in the company of someone who does all the talking, as I'm happy to just nod or go along with it and not say much.
I don't have anything interesting to say to be honest as i feel very empty inside and have done for years. I can do "work talk" when explaining things to people, but in a social environment i just can't speak to people. One of my worst scenarios is being at a party (horrendous enough) and being introduced to someone then left with them and having to try to make small talk. Ugh. Someone in my family always asks me what i've been doing when i see them and what's new with me. I feel like i should be giving them a really exciting answer instead of my usual reply; oh just working. I wonder if there will ever be a social anxiety app where you can get suggestions of interesting topics while you're stuck in front of someone trying to think of what to say?! |
#7
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Re: Conversation
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