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#1
9th June 2010, 01:00
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bad jokes
eggys lookin' you! only yokin!
joe kings looking you! what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk or an ant whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff whats brown and sticky? a brown stick what do you call 2 liverpool supporters driving off a cliff? a waste.. u can fit 5 in a car |
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#2
9th June 2010, 15:49
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Re: bad jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. Why is a man's penis like a Rubix cube? Because the longer he plays with it the harder it gets. |
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#4
9th June 2010, 18:04
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Re: bad jokes
Quote:
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#6
9th June 2010, 18:22
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Re: bad jokes
What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson. My personal favourite lame joke is... Man goes into a pet shop and asks to buy a wasp. Assistant says ''we don't sell wasps''. Man - ''Well you've got one in the window''. |
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#7
9th June 2010, 22:45
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Re: bad jokes
What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
They are both full of cockneys trying to get out. How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway? Depends how thin you slice them. Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury. |
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#8
9th June 2010, 23:16
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Re: bad jokes
Quote:
I actually heard it first, said as I wrote it, by Vocalist Robert Smith of The Cure when they were live on stage at Birmingham NEC in 1992. 
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#9
9th June 2010, 23:18
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Re: bad jokes
Quote:
 
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#11
9th June 2010, 23:47
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Re: bad jokes
This bloke decides to throw a party and invites lots of people,
telling them to bring their friends too. On the invitation he puts: "Fancy dress party - come as a human emotion." On the night of the party the first guest arrives and he opens the door to see a bloke covered in green paint with the words N and V painted on his chest. "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" the hosts asks. "I'm green with envy," the guy answers. "Brilliant, come on in and have a drink," replies the host. A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink bodystocking with a feather boa wrapped round her most intimate parts. "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" he asks. "I'm tickled pink." "I love it, come on in and join the party." A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time and the host opens the door to see two black Jamaican guys, stark-bollock naked, one with his penis stuck in a bowl of custard and other with his penis stuck in a pear. The host is really shocked and says, "**** me, you could get arrested out on the street like that. What the hell are you supposed to be?" The first guy replies (in a strong West Indian accent), "Well, I'm ****ing disgusted and my friend here has come in despair." |
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#12
9th June 2010, 23:52
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Re: bad jokes
^
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#15
10th June 2010, 19:10
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Re: bad jokes
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What's the difference between a weasle and a stoat? A weasle is weasily recognisable and a stoat is stoatally different. A chap is camping in the remote woods and a large lumberjack comes up to him and say "Hi, I am having a party at my cabin and wondered if you would like to come?" The chap say "No its OK". The lumberjack says "but there will be loads of great food", the chap still say no. The lumberjack says "but there will be loads of great drink" and the chap still says no. The lumberjack says "but there will be loads of great sex". The chap thinks and says "OK, but as I am camping I don't have anything special to wear." The lumberjack says "Wear what you like it'll be just the two of us." |
