does the shops make your SA worse?

[Everleigh]

i thought id post this seperately, as its sorta a seperate issue altho not really. just wondering if other people hate the shops????? i feel i am being watched, that people are looking at me. the more people it is, the more crowded.........the more uptight i get. i hate this feeling, it makes me neck so tense and i clench my teeth. i feel so self conscious. ne1 else get this???????????thanks

[Vickie]

Not in food shops, but in clothes shops I do.

I go to Harvey Nicks ocassionaly because they sell alot of the fashio lines that I like, but it is very upmarket there and I always feel like a bit of a bumpkin scruff when I am there and that everyone is judging me.

Any kind of shop used to PETRIFY me, but I found a mechanism for stamping that out a bit.

[Everleigh]

Originally Posted by Vickie

Any kind of shop used to PETRIFY me, but I found a mechanism for stamping that out a bit.

what mechanism???where can i get one? lol....nah seriously!!

[Andy]

I feel like people are watching me in shops too. I also think the security guards and cameras are watching me too. I never really go shopping by myself because of this.

Interesting thread because although I absolutely LOVE shopping, I do sometimes struggle with it, it does make my Anxieties so much worse especially if the shops are so packed.

It is not uncommon for people to feel anxiety in these situations though and I really think it's also got something to do with the lighting, I remember when I used to go shopping in New Look for example, the lighting in there just made me feel faint/light headed.

From my understanding, I think there are two issues with lighting that's used. The first is longer term, that in bright daylight we produce more serotonin, and in dim (especially artificial) light serotonin levels are reduced.

I think the other more immediate effect with fluorescents is the flicker, which is usually impercetpible, but is picked up unconsciously. This flickering movement, especially in peripheral vision could be associated with something moving and being a threat - akin to being in a jungle and being aware of an unusual movement of leaves. This combined with a number of people, in a place with no natural light may trigger anxiety.

The flickering will repeatedly fire off the reorientation response, which would also explain the fatigue and problems with concentration that many people experience under fluorescent lights. So really, there's so many things to consider why sometimes shopping makes us feel uncomfortable. The darker the shop the better for me !

[StarHaze]

I hate shops

[talisman]

If I'm on my own I hate them, especially small ones.

[Rob1977]

Yes it is a big problem for me but the bigger and busier the better as far as i'm concerned,it is small shops or less busy shops where you get asked if you need help that is hate most.

[teng65]

Walking around shopping centres, I feel as if the security cameras are following me.
When I walk into a bid depatment store and there are no other customers and 4 or 5 sale people ready to pounce.

[GinInTeacups]

I used to get really paranoid the security guards think i'm there thieving which they always seem to whenever I wear my leather jacket for some reason?!

But I did sort of snap out of it over time, I just tell myself that i'm a customer and they should be pleased to have me in there spending my (albeit it not so hard earned) money

[PurpleCloud]

Anything that involves leaving my house makes my anxiety worse! And going to the shops especially i dont find easy. Its not so bad when im with someone else, not that i have anyone to go with these days... But when im on my own i feel very self concious. If a shop is really busy i'll feel overwhelmed and will want to find the nearest exit. If a shop is really quiet and theres barely any people i feel like the people working there are more likely to be looking at me and judging me. Just cant win really lol

[Sea]

Originally Posted by Vickie

Not in food shops, but in clothes shops I do.

I'm exactly the same. In almost all city centre shops I struggle big-time with self-consciousness and anxiety, and clothes shops are the worst. I hardly ever go shopping and when I do its usually early morning on a week day when only grannies are out and about, lol.
But I am pretty much 100% fine in supermarkets. I think the difference with supermarkets is that everyone is busy looking at shelves and stuff, and I don't feel like they are paying me much attention. The only time I get anxious in supermarkets is at the checkout, when there are queues and people start staring out of boredom. I don't go on the self-service checkouts because of that feeling of being watched and judged, and I always mess it up :/

[ClaireLou]

Very much so, especially busy supermarkets and town/city centres. I always feel that people are staring and judging me. Everyone seems so beautiful and gorgeous and then there is me who is far from the above. :rolleyes:

[ClaireLou]

Originally Posted by SeaW

I'm exactly the same. In almost all city centre shops I struggle big-time with self-consciousness and anxiety, and clothes shops are the worst. I hardly ever go shopping and when I do its usually early morning on a week day when only grannies are out and about, lol.
But I am pretty much 100% fine in supermarkets. I think the difference with supermarkets is that everyone is busy looking at shelves and stuff, and I don't feel like they are paying me much attention. The only time I get anxious in supermarkets is at the checkout, when there are queues and people start staring out of boredom. I don't go on the self-service checkouts because of that feeling of being watched and judged, and I always mess it up :/

Snap. I can relate to you.

Supermarkets - at the checkout that's when my anxiety reaches it's height.

Clothes shops - big no no. Shop online most of the time. Can't deal with fashionble people around me!

[Midnight_Mayhem]

Me too! Although i prefer to use the self service checkouts because there are no checkout assistants to watch me or talk to me. I also panic if i search everywhere in the shop and can't find what i'm looking for.

[stef]

I hate going anywhere there is people. I feel EXTREMELY self-conscious. The more tense I get, the more people stare, which in turn makes me even more stressed etc.

It is a never ending, self-perpetuating, cycle.

[Fяαηкιє]

Yer wen i go shoppin in local places i just hurry up an get what i want incase i bump into someone an have to talk to them. I find my face sort of drops aswell an i tense up i just cant wait to get the hell out of there. But i like shoppin an buyin new an interestin things but the SA definately ruins it

[citizen_erased]

Originally Posted by Deepest Blue

Interesting thread because although I absolutely LOVE shopping, I do sometimes struggle with it, it does make my Anxieties so much worse especially if the shops are so packed.

I could've written that myself.

[Everleigh]

thanks for the replies. my gosh i can't believe how much of this i can relate too, i really feel i am the only one who is like this, so its reassuring in a sense to kno there are other ppl out there as when i go out, i really feel everyone else looks so normal except for me. i just feel soooooooo awkward.

I also find queues the worst as people do stare and i often feel so much pressure to quickly stuff the change into my purse, along with the receipt and get the hell outa there as i feel im holding everyone up.

i also much prefer going on monday mornings when everyones at work, and its mainly grannies.

stef- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
''I hate going anywhere there is people. I feel EXTREMELY self-conscious. The more tense I get, the more people stare, which in turn makes me even more stressed etc.''

exactly the same here. it becomes this never ending cycle, and the more irritated i get, the more i feel everyone is looking at me. sometimes innocent people give me a glance and i feel like yelling at them to stop looking at me cos i get so stressed out

i can't believe some people actually work in retail full time, out in crowded shops or in restaurants............that would drive me nuts constantly being out on display.

[A-Maze-Ing]

.

[ThoughtfulGuy]

Originally Posted by Deepest Blue

Interesting thread because although I absolutely LOVE shopping, I do sometimes struggle with it, it does make my Anxieties so much worse especially if the shops are so packed.

It is not uncommon for people to feel anxiety in these situations though and I really think it's also got something to do with the lighting, I remember when I used to go shopping in New Look for example, the lighting in there just made me feel faint/light headed.

From my understanding, I think there are two issues with lighting that's used. The first is longer term, that in bright daylight we produce more serotonin, and in dim (especially artificial) light serotonin levels are reduced.

I think the other more immediate effect with fluorescents is the flicker, which is usually impercetpible, but is picked up unconsciously. This flickering movement, especially in peripheral vision could be associated with something moving and being a threat - akin to being in a jungle and being aware of an unusual movement of leaves. This combined with a number of people, in a place with no natural light may trigger anxiety.

The flickering will repeatedly fire off the reorientation response, which would also explain the fatigue and problems with concentration that many people experience under fluorescent lights. So really, there's so many things to consider why sometimes shopping makes us feel uncomfortable. The darker the shop the better for me !

Interesting theory.

The flicker rate of fluorescent lights can give rise to headaches and eye strain but whether they actually contribute to greater discomfort for the SA sufferer, that's a bit questionable.

Altho flourescent light, by it's very nature, is a stark, clinical unforgiving light. Unconsciously, there are many associations with fluroescent light - Hospitals, Dentists, Stressful work environments - these associations are not positive ones. So perhaps, being in a shop (An enclosed environ), coupled with harsh artificial lighting (fluoresecent tubes), not to mention other people around and the paranoia some people may feel with the security cameras... all can contribute to making shopping a truly ghastly experience.

[crimsonking]

it's the checkout. that's the killer. if there's people behind me i just start burning up, i feel like a total dick and it takes a while to get over it. for me it's the smaller the shop the better. i'm ok with newsagents/offlicense. haven't shopped at supermarket for years. another bad one is walking along a street when there's traffic queuing and feeling like they're all looking at you. not as bad if i'm on the phone or running. but i do neither of those things. so it's baaaad.

[W!llow]

I used to be really sa in shops. Generally I am o.k now. Individuals can make a shop unpleasant like if someone is really staring or you sense a bitchy air but generally I am not bothered anymore. Sometimes if I bump into someone I know who I haven't seen for a while in a shop it feels a lot worse though, more claustrophobic. It depends a lot on how I'm feeling that day too. What I find sometimes happens with me, is I build a friendlier relationship with the shop assistant sometimes by asking how they are etc but when I am having a bad day I will feel avoidant because I know I can no longer just go in as an invisible customer. This is one of the ways I am a contradiction. I used to be very sensitive to the noise and lighting of supermarkets too. When I am tired I can still find them a bit of an ordeal but no where near as much as I used to. If I see someone I know unexpectedly in a supermarket I do tend to flood with anxiety. Its strange I can handle taking something back to a shop but I find it hard bumping into people I know. Well that's not true I do handle it actually but I do get the sudden flood of anxiety when I'm trying to talk and be friendly and afterwards agonise whether I seemed unfriendly blah de blah.

[AW]

Not usually. Normally I love shopping, but normally I'm with other people. However the other day I went on my own. Major panic attack in the Topshop changing rooms (thankfully there was the curtain to hide behind). All of a sudden I was trying on clothes and it just seem all too much handle. Horrible feeling. Then I had to go pay for my stuff (red face and everything), Urgh however I was pleased I forced myself into the queue and didnt just leave. I was fine in the rest of the shops that day once I'd calmed down, I think it was all the good-looking people and the packed shop with brights lights and really loud music that freaked me out. Which is weird because I shop in there all the time, must have been because I was by myself.

That was about a month ago, then yesterday in a massive Tesco (where I don't usualy shop as they're so big) I got a bit flustered when they told me to go use one of those self checkout things. I also hate the weeklly food shop in my local supermarket as I always end up bumping into someone I know and then have to tell them how much I haven't achieved since we last spoke.

[Frank]

dont any of you shop online for home delivery?

[BlackSwan]

Only when I'm clothes shopping. I don't mind shopping at all, except when I'm looking at clothes, I feel very self conscious.

[Lone Dog]

der... what do you think!? Who writes these questions!?

Yes, the checkout is the worst bit, especially when they ask you if you are collecting vouchers for childrens' computers, if you have a loyalty card, if you have your own bag etc etc. It takes ages - just let me pay for my things!

I do get quite a few things off the internet, though not food, but you can, one of the neighbours has food delivered by the supermarket. When I was seeing the therapist she did ask if I avoided shops, and went when they were nearly empty, etc, but I've never done that, though apparently it's quite common.

[BlackSwan]

Originally Posted by Lone Dog

the therapist she did ask if I avoided shops, and went when they were nearly empty, etc, but I've never done that, though apparently it's quite common.

I often try to go at times when its quieter. I don't think thats an SA thing though, it just feels more comfortable and pleasant to shop when there aren't as many people around.

[Lone Dog]

Originally Posted by crimsonking

it's the checkout. that's the killer. if there's people behind me i just start burning up, i feel like a total dick and it takes a while to get over it. for me it's the smaller the shop the better. i'm ok with newsagents/offlicense. haven't shopped at supermarket for years. another bad one is walking along a street when there's traffic queuing and feeling like they're all looking at you. not as bad if i'm on the phone or running. but i do neither of those things. so it's baaaad.

Oh, I hate it when you get to a traffic light and it's red, and all the cars are stopped there and you are walking past, in the direction they are coming from, i.e. facing them!

[Lone Dog]

Originally Posted by BlackSwan

I often try to go at times when its quieter. I don't think thats an SA thing though, it just feels more comfortable and pleasant to shop when there aren't as many people around.

Yes, I'm sure non-sa people do that too.