ever said or written something and then spent hrs thinking about how you came across

[mmru02]

Over the last few months I have written and spoken to people and then looked back on what I have said and wondered what other people thought about me and how I came across.

Does everyone do that? or iz I just a freak lol

a very handsome freak, not brad pitt u understand but tom cruise defo... a very haggered tom cruise ha ha

[Clive]

I do that too. Think lots of people do!

I always do that!

[kastra]

Yeah, it's a big problem for me too, I actually get it worse online because you can go back & read exactly what you 'said'.

[Harriet]

Yeah I always over-analyse things after I've written/said them. Like kastra said, it's always worse online, and it usually takes me ages to write the simplest of things because I'm always deleting stuff and re-writing it.

[Stu24]

All the time I'm always worried off offending someone or looking like an idiot

[AAAli]

I used to do this alot, but the more experience I get the less this happens to me.

[just-me-Amie]

u knw wot?! i think that is a big part of avin social anxeity/phobia we always over analyzin our selfs in wotever we say, wotever we do.... & so on! if we out sumwhere & say sumit then get nervous & makes us feel alil stupid, later on that night we will prob lay in bed thinkin it over & over again & tellin ourself that we was soooo stupid in sayin that & how every1 will think bad of us etc... its part of the vicious circle that gets talk about when u go for CBT its like the person we av prob or mayb not said sumit bad 2 will av totally forgotten it but we think it all up ourself & make ur self feel bad for sumit that prob as been forgotten.
it is hard 2 get urself outta that thinkin pattern tho as u av lived with it for so long but CBT helps with that 2
i use 2 do this so much & it wud stop me goin 2 that places or talk 2 that person where i fort i did sumit stupid or said sumit stupid so i wudnt av 2 face it "just incase" it was spoken about {even tho it 100% prob wudnt b} again avoidance is another big prob with avin SA.
at the point i am now i dnt really care wot ppl think of me or wot i say because i am me & thats all i can b & if they dnt like me thats fine not every1 is gonna like me or agree with i say & thats cool its life

[Arfed]

I used to, and while I usually read over my posts and correct minor things after posting, I let myself forget about the content of the post and not worry about it, so long as I'm happy with the intentions behind writing the post (and try to apply that attitude when reading other peoples posts as well).

If people misinterpret me, I correct/rephrase what I (or the other person) said in a new post, as a correction to the previous one; it always helps to try and minimize the ways in which you can be misinterpreted though.

If I don't post anything blatantly offensive/ignorant etc. (which I wouldn't do intentionally though sometimes happens on a bad day), then I can't think of a reason why anyone would judge me as 'stupid' or anything negative like that; if someone does think of me that way, for little or no reason, that's their problem and not something for me to worry about.

I view it as unhealthy to worry about stuff like that, since you can't know exactly what people think unless they say something to you, even then you have to determine whether or not their's any merit to their opinion; it's always good to be responsive to criticism, so long as you can take something useful from it (e.g. knowledge about how you come across and a way to improve that), but you also need to know/learn when to discard and ignore unfair judgments (which isn't always easy, as separating criticism/judgments can be tricky at times).

[moss]

It's hard not to do it, especially online where so much of the nuance and inflection is lost. I too waste a lot of time pre-screening what I say as well before it even comes out, and somehow it still manages to look dumb, or to aggressive, or too nice...

[Wonderboyo]

Every sodding day! Text messages are the worst for that sort of thing.

[mmru02]

Originally Posted by Arfed

I view it as unhealthy to worry about stuff like that, since you can't know exactly what people think unless they say something to you, even then you have to determine whether or not their's any merit to their opinion; it's always good to be responsive to criticism, so long as you can take something useful from it (e.g. knowledge about how you come across and a way to improve that), but you also need to know/learn when to discard and ignore unfair judgments (which isn't always easy, as separating criticism/judgments can be tricky at times).

I have to agree with everything you say here but I still find myself thinking that I have gone a step too far when writing and speaking sometimes. In fact I know what you say is true but I still do it... Doh

Originally Posted by Wonderboyo

Every sodding day! Text messages are the worst for that sort of thing.

the only advantage I have to you here is that I am bloody awful at txting and don't write more than a few words per text

Originally Posted by Lamb

I'm trying to be more positive but it's hard as I am a born pessimist

me too

[piesJoy]

yep.

[s0me_guy]

Quite often. More so online as it's harder for people to detect whether you're being sarcy/joking around or not, and I sometimes worry afterwards if they understood me okay. Depends on the person to.

[hippnk]

For me it's a constant worry. I will write something over and over again till I think its perfect. Then I'll leave it for a while just to mull on it before reading and editting again. For this forum and a blog I force myself to write 'live' and post and not look again. But it still worries me that those that read it will hate me.

Even now I wonder if I will press the button to post this one.

[teng65]

I tend to use humour as a defence mechanism too much and worry that something I think is funny has offended someone.

I have just been away for Easter and met loads of new people and since I got back have been replaying in my mind everthing I said and worrying what other people thought.

As for posting on line I also spend ages rewritting things and still when I go back and read it after posting, I think I am going to be judged and worry about the consequences.

[mmru02]

Originally Posted by teng65

I tend to use humour as a defence mechanism too much and worry that something I think is funny has offended someone.

I do that too but I also add sarcasm to the mix and that is never good

[Suse]

All the time.....

[Amber Fyre]

I used to. Now if I catch myself doing it I just tell myself to stop being so silly and make myself think about something else. But it depends on what it is that I said and especially to who..

[Grousey]

all the time, something i said months ago still bugs me!

[indiegirl1980]

I'm convinced that I open my mouth and rubbish comes out.

[mmru02]

Originally Posted by indiegirl1980

I'm convinced that I open my mouth and rubbish comes out.

Originally Posted by Grousey

all the time, something i said months ago still bugs me!

Originally Posted by Guilin

I do a lot, it's almost worse on the internet.

I think I'm guilty of all of the above he he

[Undecided]

I worry a lot about how stuff I've written online comes across. There's many times I've typed out a reply to a thread on here and re-read it several times before deleting it(hence my low post count)

When I e-mail people I'm conscious of saying the wrong thing or offending someone. I find that I usually use smilies so that they can understand the tone it was meant in.