Lack of Freedom

[Formershyguy]

Living with my mum its so hard to go out when I want, either a night out or a day out because I have to look after her because she's really ill right now. It was only a few weeks ago she had to call an ambulance as she had terrible pain in her stomach.

But even before this I felt restricted because she would text me to tell me to come home soon because she gets lonely. She is more of an extrovert and me being an introvert I like my own company and just prefer to being in a crowd but that doesn't mean to say I don't crave human contact.

My sister has gone on holiday for a week. But I can't even have a day to myself! In the past my mum would use emotional blackmail to make me stay at home. Last weekend I went out for the day and I felt bad as she was still ill but I going mad stuck at home all week. I work from home all week then after work I just watch some youtube videos or Netflix but have now started going to the gym again.

But i might spend an hour at the gym, thats it. Thats nothing and I love going to the gym. But if I tell her I have a date, because occasionally I might be lucky enough to have one she tells me not to come home too late.

I feel like I'm living in a Prison! I'm 45 and I should have had a busy social life. Many people my age have already travelled the world and had families. Although I have no intention of getting married or having kids. But I wopuld like to go out more and have more freedom. I think I'm entitled but I feel guilty leaving her alone.

Right now she is so ill it could take ages before she is better and now I have to look after her.

I'm too scared to move out because I'm terrified I won't be able to pay all my bills. And I know my mum won't be around forever so I will have to somehow manage all the bills on my own. I don't think I could every live with a stranger!

Right now its hard even having the freedom to have a couple of hours to myself unless I'm working.

Also I'm temping at this company and I was hoping it would end soon so I could have my free time back. I know I shouldn't complain too much as I know we're living in this economic crisis. But I just love having free time. What I normally do is I'll lie to her saying that its my final week when it isn't so I can just have some time for myself. Sounds absolutely pathetic and ridiculous but thats how I live!

[Mr. Nobody]

You don't mention your mum's age, but personal/family long-term unpaid carers can sometimes get what is called respite care,
This is where the person you are caring for gets a temporary placement in a care home environment, to give you "respite" and a chance to get some space and time to yourself.