The Truth about Introverts...

[Wisher]

I just read this post by an introvert, I imagine a few people on here may find it interesting. I know extroverts have SA too, but I think a lot of introverts often feel that this is in some way linked to SA. I liked this because it's quite positive about being an introvert.

http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

[TommyGun]

Thanks for posting this Wisher,makes me feel a bit better about myself.

Myth #10 ***8211; Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.God I hate when people try to "bring me out of my shell"

[Fluppy]

That link is postaculariffic! Positively interesting, thanks for sharing.
I agree with alot of it and disagree with some of it and totally relate to it.

It made me smile a bit but i still dislike myself.

[Duke of Prunes]

There are too many people who automatically associate SA with introversion without even considering the possibility that their anxiety is hiding their true personality.

SA is so much more frustrating as an extrovert, when the very environments that you need in order to feel content also make you painfully uncomfortable.

[Luke78]

A great read thanks. I've got The Introvert Advantage somewhere, I think I'll go dig it out and reread it.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by Duke of Prunes

There are too many people who automatically associate SA with introversion without even considering the possibility that their anxiety is hiding their true personality.

SA is so much more frustrating as an extrovert, when the very environments that you need in order to feel content also make you painfully uncomfortable.

Yep. I'm not an introvert at all. Many people confuse avoidance with introversion. I probably did that myself in the past too. But with hindsight I can now see that my withdrawal was always about avoidance of severe anxiety, not about introversion.

I agree about the frustration aspect. My frustration was always made much deeper simply because I actually wanted to be doing the things that caused me the greatest anxiety. Such as be around people. Be good at a job. Be sociable when I chose to be. Have friendships and relationships etc.

[Tom123]

Myth #1 ***8211; Introverts don***8217;t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don***8217;t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won***8217;t shut up for days.

I bloody hate this, so much. This sort of thing has stopped me, going up to girls strengthening friendships, even PMing people on here! This is probably the only thing about my personality that I really want to improve upon, I want to attain the gift of small talk.

[Tom123]

Originally Posted by PaloAlto

I find I can only make small talk if I've got an active life/social life, someone mentioned this on here the other day. I do admire those with 'the gift of the gab'.

Quite!

Person - 'So what have you been upto lately'
Me - 'Ermm well, not much really. Still haven't got a job'
Person - 'Ah well, it's hard out there at the moment'
Me - 'yep'.

Fin.

[Toxic]

small talk confuses me

i dont know how people can talk for hours..without..actually..talking about anything?

im bloody terrible...get me in a shop and if its empty ill play on my phone when its being cashed up at the till because i fear i may get sucked into a random conversation which ill just kill instantly

perhaps im such a boring bastard that i just have nothing to make small talk about ...talk to me about geeky stuff and i can go on for hours..anything else and its time to kill the conversation awkwardly (im getting worse in shops ive noticed this today...now im avoiding people who greet on the door by going in when someone else does and walk beside them..christ)

interesting read though!

[Grinder]

Originally Posted by Benfica

Yep. I'm not an introvert at all. Many people confuse avoidance with introversion. I probably did that myself in the past too. But with hindsight I can now see that my withdrawal was always about avoidance of severe anxiety, not about introversion.

I agree about the frustration aspect. My frustration was always made much deeper simply because I actually wanted to be doing the things that caused me the greatest anxiety. Such as be around people. Be good at a job. Be sociable when I chose to be. Have friendships and relationships etc.

Ditto. I'm not introverted by nature or happy in the company of people that are. I often find that I am frustrating myself for having to 'settle' for less when I want so much more of a connection. It's refreshing to hear this from someone else. I do notice, however, that masked extraversion is not mimicked by the large majority of people I have encountered on this forum who don't appear to me to really have that battle going on. I see a lot of quite naturally quiet, introverted people with anxiety, and not much else. In otherwords, I suppose that I reckon if you were to take the anxiety away, you would still be left with a reclusive/withdrawn personality type, albeit without anxiety as a complication, for most of the people on here. This is possibly an unkind generalisation; I'm not entirely sure.

I'm pretty much a fence sitter I suppose. Besides the anxiety I share very little in common with many of the people on here who seem to belong to a different creed. The odd exceptions make it worth while coming here. I've made a best mate through this forum, and there's always the off chance I'll make more. But I'll never be part of this community. Sometimes feel as though I'm seen as different and therefore misunderstood as I have a pretty unique set of problems. Maybe my self esteem, self worth is not low enough to feel content here?

[Spilt_Auras]

I'm extremely introverted and I enjoyed reading the article as it really reminded me of how glorious it is to see the world as I do, and to all the people whose posts contain "I wish I could have this trait or that", just accept who you are.

[W!llow]

I do think that link is good and it's nice to hear positives for the introverted nature, but when reading through it I didn't agree with it all. You know when people are one thing and feel they have to make that look superior to another thing, like curvy against naturally slim people etc when people have to slate one thing to make themselves feel better. Having said that as there is so much out there making people feel it is only acceptable to be extroverted it doesn't hurt probably to have a biased one the other way.

[schneebeli]

^ yes I picked up on that defiant lilt to the article. It's fair enough to boost esteem for the introverts, but when it starts to sound resentful or defiant, the battle's already lost. We have to learn how to fit with the existing real world as we won't change it. A lot of that sounds like it was taken from Highly Sensitive Person books, but perhaps that's understandable if introversion is related to being more sensitive. I'm definitely introverted but still need regular human contact at a low level. After a few days alone, I feel decidedly lonely and will resort to going to a cafe or something just to be out among people. Constant contact with people 8 hours a day is too much though.

[Wisher]

ah, wow, am glad I posted and some people have found it helpful.

I once read something by Dorothy Rowe, in which she discussed introverted extroverts and extroverted introverts, lol, that is people who seem extrovert can actually be introverts but they've managed to develop social skills to get by in the outside world so that people don't think of them as being introvert. And, some extroverts may be seen as introverted when actually they really feel the need for human company. It was very interesting, made me question whether I might actually be an extrovert when I'd always thought of myself as introverted. An example of an introverted extrovert would be someone everyone sees as quiet but perhaps has a rich fantasy life in which they are very popular, or someone who perhaps calls their books 'friends' ....

[humphrey]

That about sums me up perfectly. Especially about talking on a subject you're interested in. Thats me to a tee. I have never done small talk.

[Biggie14]

Originally Posted by W!llow

I do think that link is good and it's nice to hear positives for the introverted nature, but when reading through it I didn't agree with it all. You know when people are one thing and feel they have to make that look superior to another thing, like curvy against naturally slim people etc when people have to slate one thing to make themselves feel better. Having said that as there is so much out there making people feel it is only acceptable to be extroverted it doesn't hurt probably to have a biased one the other way.

I agree. That article described me to a T, but I didn't like the way it seemed to attempt to take the moral high ground. It's comparable to non-drinkers/smokers flaunting their abstinence and making sure drinkers and smokers know of their disdain towards them. Everyone, both introverts and extroverts, need to accept each other for what they are, then the world would be a more comfortable place.

[my little shell]

thanks for that article it made some interesting points,although i agree it did come across as quite arrogant at times

[iTz0kt0Bu]

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

I'm not sure about the part where it says "If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down." If I was in a loud place with people I get on with I wouldn't shut down but I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or I am the way I am cause of years of shyness and lack of socialising, I think I am an introvert though.

Originally Posted by Duke of Prunes

SA is so much more frustrating as an extrovert, when the very environments that you need in order to feel content also make you painfully uncomfortable.

I agree, at college I wish I had people I could really socialise with and I feel lonely in College, especially on free periods as I don't have anyone to speak too. Shyness makes me uncomfortable around some people that I would like to know.