Attempted Suicide

[Lucidity]

Why is it that if you attempt suicide and are not succesful, people always say or think that you're attention seeking!
Is everyone really so self indulgent that they assume you must have done it for self gain, or attention?

The worlds gone mad and I dont want any part of it

[Johnni]

Unfortunately some do it to seek attention and thus people assume those that really wanted to end it were acting the same. The same goes for those with depression, LOTS of people say they are suffering from depression but are not and are alright in like a weeks time So when someone is really suffering from depression they may be told to snap out of it or expected to get over it soon cos others have who claimed to be suffering it.

[W!llow]

As Charlaine says even if somebody did attempt suicide more as a cry for help rather than with the real intent to kill themselves it just shows they have a problem and they need help.
I think sometimes people feel guilt and they don't like it so it is easier to label the person 'attention seeker'. The fact that it is a very warped way of 'getting attention' and the person obviously isn't well seems to be brushed aside.
If they had a successful suicide on their hands their feelings would be completely different of course but then the person might get the 'selfish' label (used in the blame sense).
I think often it has a lot to do with guilt (even if not valid) that makes people say these things because maybe they feel/felt powerless to help and they can't cope with how they feel so it's easier to blame the person. Obviously some people just don't understand too but there are people that do.

[diplodocus]

Unfortunately everybody gets lumped in together but it does make you wonder when someone has made previous attempts but then uses the same method that was previously unsuccessful. Maybe subconsciously they don't actually want to die or perhaps even consciously, then that would lead people to conclude it was a cry for help rather than a serious attempt at ending their life.

I do think it is interesting in for example the US that although women are 3 times more likely to attempt suicide, men between 3 to 10 times more likely to be successful. Some medical professionals believe that this is because males are more likely to use more violent means whilst females primarily use less severe methods like overdosing on medication. This trend is followed throughout the western world. By contrast in countries like China women actually have a higher rate of successful suicides. This is believed to be due to the availability of a highly toxic pesticides that are used in up to 60% of all suicides there and lower standards of effective medical treatment for poisoning.

[Aelwyn]

If a person attempts suicide to gain attention then I think that person should still be given lots of care, love and support because attempting suicide to gain attention is still a serious matter, and absolutely no one should call that person 'attention seeking'. No one for whatever reason, attempts suicide lightly.

I agree with Charlaine on this, and think it is very harsh to call a suicide attempt simply attention-seeking.

By the way there is a sticky thread at the start of the Social Anxiety Room about having suicidal thoughts, it might be helpful to you.

[Matt101]

How can you get attention when you're dead? That's something I've never understood about that way of thinking, if you want attention then you'd want to be alive to enjoy it would you not. People who say that have obviously never been suicidal.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

The thing I dislike about the ''attention seeking'' tag is it's generally said in an accusatory and dismissive manner. As though, if it is ''just attention seeking'' it is of little importance and can be glossed over. Maybe this is a nice cop-out for others who feel they can't or don't want to actually look at the problem and assist us with it.

To me, even if the attempt was not genuinely meant to kill, it is evidence of some real issues going on for the person concerned. It is evidence of real distress. Lets face it, how many happy, contented, grounded and emotionally stable people attempt suicide, whether successful or not?

Even if we go with the ''attention seeking'' tag but without the accusatory and dismissive tone for a moment. What are the actions of the person attempting to draw attention to? Well it's generally to their inner pain, turmoil, aguish, problems etc. The actions point to the person having difficulties they are struggling to cope with.

So whether the person 100% intended to end their life, or they were attempting to draw attention to their pain and suffering, they still deserve understanding, care and support. What we have is a troubled human being. And that is all that should matter.

To be honest, I think most people are way out of their depth when it comes to what to do or say to a person who attempts suicide, regardless of whether it was a serious attempt to end their lives or a cry for the help they need to carry on living. I suspect for many, being able to gloss it over as ''attention-seeking'' so in other words, not serious, it means they can sort of justify burying their heads in the sand. But this can leave a very troubled person feeling ignored and dismissed and their issues trivialised.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by ruthieroo

And don't see much difference between someone who attempts suicide as a 'cry for help', someone who does it because they actually want to end things or someone who is just contemplating it, there is obviously something seriously wrong in all cases, and all should be treated as serious and given the help that they need.

I can see what you are saying and yes they are all very serious, however I'd pay more attention if I had to choose to the one who made the most serious attempt because they are most likely to attempt it again and be successful.

Studies have shown that if the person tried and failed to kill themselves by hanging or other violent means then they are very likely to make and be successful on the next attempt. I don't mean that the person who took some sleeping pills should be ignored I just mean that the person who tried to jump off the bridge should be prioritised.

[firemonkey]

http://www.papyrus-uk.org/ (prevention of young suicide)
http://www.thecalmzone.net/ (young male suicide)
http://www.maytree.org.uk/ (respite for those in suicidal crisis)

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by ruthieroo

Yeah, i agree with you up to a point, someone who is about to throw themselves off a bridge should obviously be given immediate priority over someone who is only contemplating suicide, but think it's a really grey area because none of us ever know for sure what is going on in someone else's mind. Guess on face of it you'd think someone who has made previous attempts should be prioritised, but what about the person who may only be thinking about it, then something happens that pushes them over the edge, they make one attempt and are successful? I guess people who have made previous attempts but have failed are prioritised because their need for help has been made more visible to others, but there's plenty people out there who keep it to themselves and do not receive the help they need but end up being the ones who are most successful. Think it's hard to prioritise under those circumstances when you don't know what is going on in someone's mind and how serious or not they are and alot of people hide it really well too which i find quite scary, i personally find those types of people more worrying that those who make more visible, obvious attempts. But that's just my opinion.

p.s hope that made sense, know what i'm trying to say, not sure if i explained it very well tho

I believe I understand what you are saying and I agree. It's not possible to know what's going on in someones head. What I was trying to say but probably not explaining that clearly is that if someone uses a violent method and fails they are more likely to attempt suicide again (around 55%) and suceed than those using non-violent methods. The percentage of successful suicide attempts that occur within 1 year of the first attempt for people using violent methods is a shocking 87%! Clearly they are a very high risk group! That's what I meant by being given priority.

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/726228

[firemonkey]

http://www.suicidepreventtriangle.or...Chap5_Criteria

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

This is a deeply sensitive topic and leaves a lump in my throat at times when I hear the word "suicide", anyway...

I understand the OP's views, I've had two feeble suicide attempts in my teens, once when I was at boarding school and the second about 4 years later some months after I received my GSCE exam results, they were not a cry for help nor attention at all more like a need to escape from reality and a permanent solution to end emotional and mental pain, some people say people who commit suicide are selfish, well maybe it's true depending on the individual and if they have children and a partner for example but I feel suicide for the majority is not a cry for help but a cry to escape and for the end to come instantaneously, it takes a lot of courage.

I'm now 36 and can not deny that yes I still have had days when I want to end it all, in the past I have fantasized about travelling to a foreign land and disposing of myself unnoticed and wanting no media attention whatsoever, how people say it's attention seeking I find baffling and ignorant of mental health problems. Anyway, now as an adult I would hate to hurt my parents and relatives by taking my own life, I'm determined to at least try and enjoy life best to my abilities nowadays, I feel fortunate enough to have a roof over my head, food, freedom to express my opinions and the mod cons in some respects.

Mods/Admins - Feel free to delete or modify this post at your discretion, I'm not advocating suicide at all, just sharing briefly my experiences and thoughts (slightly alcohol induced I confess though *booourp*).

[firemonkey]

My first and worst suicide attempt was at boarding school. I can remember being very emotionless and mechanical about the whole process.

[W!llow]

There are so many different personality types, reasons, I wouldn't say it is never done as 'attention seeking' (wanting people to take note of their pain, the fact they are not alright, they need help rather than wanting to die) thing to attempt suicide, but the use of the the expression is unhelpful and usually a way just to take lightly what has happened, making the person sound like a child having a tantrum.