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Children and CBT
Anybody have any experience with children and CBT?
Our son Max has been in school for two years now and has not said a single word. He has Selective Mutism (the inability to speak in certain social situations, most often school settings, because of severe anxiety). It's supposed to be an early manifestation of SA. He was accepted into a research project at UCLA (University of California at Los Angeles) Medical Center. http://www.npi.ucla.edu/caap/ We spent 5 hours there on Wednesday being interviewed and filling out questionnaires and now he'll go once a week for CBT sessions. I have no experience with CBT. Can anyone see this being of benefit to a 6-year-old? I have my doubts but we'll try anything. I'm very worried about his future. I was always able to speak at school even though I was always the shyest in all my classes. He's a chatterbox at home and I wasn't sure he was really conscious of the problem until one day we were walking to the park and he said, "Daddy, when you were a little boy, did you talk at school?" I told him I did, that I was shy, so I just talked a little bit. He said, "I can't talk at school." I told him he could start by saying "Hi" and "Goodbye" to the teacher. He just looked at me and said, "I can't." Just one more thing to be stressed about. Starfin |
#2
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Re: Children and CBT
Hi Starfin,
I'm sorry to hear that your son is experiencing anxiety at school. I'm sure it must be very worrying for you. Although I don't have any personal experience of children and CBT, your post struck a chord with me as my 2 1/2 year old son is also very shy and seems to already be showing a few signs of social anxiety at his playgroup. I know I shouldn't be worrying at such an early stage but of course, like any parent, I do!! I was also extremely shy at school and barely uttered a word unless constantly prompted by the teacher. I remember a new teacher asking me my name infront of the class and the other kids informing her that I didn't talk. I felt so humiliated and ashamed. Like your son, I never stopped talking at home but at school I was too scared to say a single word. I imagine these days I might have been diagnosed as suffering with a form of selective mutism, but back then it wasn't recognised as an anxiety disorder, and I was labelled an 'attention seeker', and told that I would be better off in a school for 'backward' children. Thank god these anxiety disorders are better understood today, and there is SO much more information and help available!! I really do believe my life might have turned out a million times different if I'd had a parent who really understood me, and the opportunity of some early CBT. The conversation you had with your son while walking in the park must have been heartbreaking for you, but it's great that he has you to share his fears with, someone that truly understands. There must be so many children who don't have this. Although my knowledge of selective mutism and CBT is non-existent, from all the information I've come across, studies indicate that the earlier a child is treated for selective mutism, the quicker the response to treatment, and the better the overall prognosis, so I personally don't see why CBT wouldn't be of enormous benefit to a 6 year old. I certainly don't think that it could do any harm, and the research program your son has been accepted by sounds great. I think one of the most important things is that a child doesn't feel pressurised into speaking or feel that there is something 'wrong' with him, but for the therapy to be seen as something positive. I came across these mothers words about her daughter who has selective mutism: "We've always made our daughter's therapy positive and told her that she's so lucky to have someone help her with her feelings because most people never get that chance - it's so hard to figure feelings out and everyone can use some help with it! She just has an expert!" An excellent way of looking at things, eh? (Emote: smile) Oh... And If you haven't found this already, here's the link to a forum that looked like it might be kind of helpful?... http://www.childhoodanxietynetwork.o...b/bulletin/bb/ I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help, but I wish you the best of luck, and am sure that with so much support and understanding your son will be just fine. (Emote: smile) [1 edits; Last edit by Scottidog at 11:00:36 Sun Jun 26 2005] |
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Re: Children and CBT
Yeah CBT can be adapted for children Starrfin. From a research point of view it has been shown to be effective, so I’d say it could definitely help your son Max. I suppose another positive is that he is getting an early intervention, and I think this is really important as childhood work can be more preventative. Also I think adults can be more set in their ways, and we can be harder to change, things are still in flux during childhood. Oh just another quick point – it is great that he’s a ‘chatter-box’ at home, and I guess that shows that despite an inclination to be shy he has a really good home life, and his shyness doesn’t effect him in this context. I’m sure they will draw on that during his CBT. Anyhows, look, I hope it goes well. (Emote: pirate)
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#4
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Re: Children and CBT
I can't answer your question Starfin, but I've been told I didn't speak to another person outside my immediate family until I was 5 years old. I don't know how it changed but I suspect I had a very kind and patient and talented teacher in 1st grade-because I started speaking to the teacher in school, but still wouldn't talk to any other adults or children in school for a couple more years.
I hope CBT helps your son, Anne |
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Re: Children and CBT
Coincidentally I was talking to someone the other day who once was a selective mute like your son . Today he is normally adjusted, outgoing and does not suffer from Sa.
So I guess it can work out ok. |
#6
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Re: Children and CBT
Thanks everyone for your replies (Emote: smile)
Scottidog, Yeah, I feel the same way ... if CBT turns out to work for kids, I wonder if I would've turned out differently. Although I was able to talk a little at school, I was always very anxious. For a couple of years in elementary school I had a very bad facial tic ... my parents' attitude was just to ignore it until one day it went away (Emote: embarrassed) Of course, back then, that was probably the common approach. Max has for short times had minor facial tics and made nervous vocalizations such as constant throat clearing at times when he seems very stressed ... but the main thing is his SM. I hope you can keep your son in his playgroup. My wife tries to arrange as many one on one playdays for Max as possible and he often meets with two boys at the same time. He's the quiet one in that small group of three but it's a start for getting him used to groups, I guess. cj0hn0, I think you're right--if he has any kind of shot at a normal, non SA life--this will be it. I'd be even more worried if he didn't talk at home. I've read of some kids like that. I'm not expecting miracles ... I know even if the CBT works he'll probably always be seen as being shy. But I think being within a normal range of shy is a good thing! (Emote: smileyellow) Not like the aggressive mean spirited lefty you are in your political posts (Emote: biggrin) Gosh, it'll be harder to call you a looney lefty from now on ... but I'll try! (Emote: beerchug) anne, We've met with the lady who'll be his teacher in the fall and we just love her. She seems so nurturing and we've heard nothing but good things about her. Another teacher sounds very harsh (don't want her) and the other two are kind of loud goofball guys who are probably good for outgoing kids but who would intimidate and embarrass Max with their approach and behavior. Doesn't hurt that this new teacher looks like Barbie, either. Max could be headed for his first crush. I know I've got a crush on her ... she's so nice I was really blushing while talking to her ... even though the amount of xanax I took beforehand should've put me in a coma! hardy, The father of a girl in our youngest daughter's class didn't talk for his first year in school. He was at our daughter's birthday party with his daughter and because I was looking so SA, I guess, with kids and parents all around, my wife told me to just go talk with him because "he's just like you." We started talking and found out we went to all the same schools ... elemenatry through UCLA university (I dropped out after the first year there, he became a medical doctor). He said he had a very nurturing first grade teacher who helped him to talk at the end of the year. He's still very shy ... but he's a medical doctor now at UCLA. He said he's pretyy much okay one-on-one but almost becomes SM even now in groups and meetings. Gotta go to work. Thanks again everybody (Emote: smile) Starfin |