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  #91  
Old 31st December 2015, 03:07
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ I would miss you
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  #92  
Old 31st December 2015, 23:46
Cheshire Cat Cheshire Cat is offline
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Going through a very tough time myself. As midnight approaches, I'm so darn disappointed in myself. This wasn't part of my game plan. The constant fear makes me so tired. I feel so alone.

But I wish everybody a happy new year, you don't deserve to feel like you have no value. You all have tremendous courage and my love and light and hope to everybody on these boards. Xxx
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  #93  
Old 1st January 2016, 00:21
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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^ I hope 2016 brings better things for you Cheshire Cat Try not to be too disappointed in yourself, it isn't possible to control everything that happens.
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  #94  
Old 1st January 2016, 02:13
Tembo Tembo is online now
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I hope 2016 brings all of you on here a happier life.

2016 will be the year I combat depression and stop having suicidal thoughts.
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  #95  
Old 1st January 2016, 10:09
LonelyBoy LonelyBoy is offline
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What shall 2016 bring?

I'm happier already because I have problems writing the number 5. Like OCD problems and it always looks crap. True, it has improved over 365 days, but I detest 5. Good riddance to 5.
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  #96  
Old 1st January 2016, 14:45
Cheshire Cat Cheshire Cat is offline
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Thanks HelloSunshine. I am visiting a friend to celebrate their birthday today, so I'm trying not to let the New Year blues overwhelm me, and keep active.

My new year's thought for everybody is this:

"We should be weary, not of those who push us, put us through hell, make us feel afraid, encourage and challenge us, but rather weary of those who sympathise and care a little too much, and never help us to see what we're capable of. There are times when both are valuable allies, but the day we realise that the boogie man offers the key to our salvation is the first day of a new life."
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  #97  
Old 1st January 2016, 17:05
LonelyBoy LonelyBoy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna.
I actually thought the same thing! I hate the way I write the number 5 and I'm glad I won't have to do it as often.

Wouldn't say I was any happier because of it though. I'm still wishing I could just go to sleep and not wake up again. Every morning I'm disappointed.
I'm just glad I'll be dead and buried before (long after humankind has left the Earth it cannibalised and inhabited a new planet in which it had to change the date format) it's 55-55-5555. I just hope the nanobots that consume humanity don't resurrect the dead's heads and just keep our heads alive in formaldehyde jars in order to study and examine the contents of our skulls. I'm so glad that's not possible yet or, if they must keep my head in a jar for eternity in order to study my head, they invent something better than formaldehyde to preserve me.
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  #98  
Old 2nd January 2016, 12:56
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Everyone would not be better off without you, especially your family. Have you been able to speak to your husband about how you're feeling?
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  #99  
Old 2nd January 2016, 12:58
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Thank you HS.

Yes I have and he's been absolutely lovely about it but I've not been a very good wife lately (understatement of the century) and so I just keep telling myself he would be better off with someone else too.
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  #100  
Old 2nd January 2016, 13:02
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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I'm glad you've been able to talk to him about it. He married you because he loves you. No matter how badly you think you've been doing as a wife recently he wouldn't be better off with anyone else
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  #101  
Old 2nd January 2016, 13:04
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Thank you. That's really lovely of you.
I appreciate you replying.
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  #102  
Old 2nd January 2016, 13:07
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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Hope things pick up again soon
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  #103  
Old 2nd January 2016, 17:22
shadowonthewall shadowonthewall is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I am suicidal, but the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the government see fit to trap people in this life who do not want to be here. The societal debate concerning bodily sovereignty is moving at a glacial pace and people are happy for the fact that they are not owners of their body.I'm far more interested in that discussion than the particulars of why I am suicidal. I think that it's an absolute disgrace that people should have to resort to hanging themselves or jumping in front of a train. It's an even worse disgrace that they can be locked up against their will for having attempted suicide or being thought to be in 'danger' of attempting suicide. It's an evil form of slavery and should go the way that forced labour did, but for now, most people feel happy to have slavery alive and well in our society.
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  #104  
Old 3rd January 2016, 00:40
Tembo Tembo is online now
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ That's sad to hear. There have been occasions where I've gone to a station, and not to get on a train...just to sit on a bench and think. Thankfully I haven't done that for a while. Don't think I could put my family through anything though, and not just my family, but also the train driver (and their family). Some drivers have had to get a new job because it affects them so badly. Anyway Legion, I hope you never psych yourself up to do it. The one thing that gives me hope is that everything could change. We could maybe have months, years or even decades of suicidal thoughts, but it could all change and we'll be glad we never ended our lives.

I should say, that even though I have these thoughts (less than I used to thankfully), I doubt I could actually go through with anything.
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  #105  
Old 5th January 2016, 13:51
Ronnie_Pickering Ronnie_Pickering is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

suicide thoughts. Job searching/making choices for the future always does it to me.
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  #106  
Old 5th January 2016, 14:40
CliffHanger CliffHanger is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by Legion
Every so often I go and watch the trains at the station. That's how I'd do it.

When I was younger I would try to psych myself up to do it, but I didn't have the balls.
It's not that you didn't have the balls to end it all, it's that you had the balls to choose life. Well done. Focus on that.
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  #107  
Old 5th January 2016, 17:15
shadowonthewall shadowonthewall is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by CliffHanger
It's not that you didn't have the balls to end it all, it's that you had the balls to choose life. Well done. Focus on that.
That might be the case for the person that you're quoting, but I can tell you from personal experience that when I have the opportunity to commit suicide and don't, I am not tapping into some kind of hitherto untapped reserve of courage. I am refraining from killing myself because human beings have evolved to have a powerful instinctual aversion to death and that is what is influencing my (in)actions at the time.
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  #108  
Old 6th January 2016, 16:06
CliffHanger CliffHanger is offline
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^ Ok, in your case, and perhaps the op's, that may be true but I also think that it takes a huge amount of courage for some to continue living and fighting rather than giving in. There are perhaps millions of people right now that have had a lifetime of mental illness yet continue to live and fight. I refuse to believe that all of those people are still here solely because they 'didn't have the balls' to end it. It takes courage to choose life in the face of an enemy that lives within them colouring their thoughts, clouding their judgement and intent on making the world as dark, confusing and scary as possible. I salute them all.
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  #109  
Old 6th January 2016, 18:00
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Sorry you're feeling like that, Luna I can relate to it though. I feel like it's more of a failure on my part that I can't take that level of control of things, can't be that brave and decisive, rather than being strong for resisting the thoughts and urges. I gingerly walk to the edge sometimes to look down, but I'm not sure I have it in me to throw myself off.

It isn't that I like the idea of dying, it's that life feels like a frustrating mess of tangled wires that don't even seem to be attached to anything of use. The idea of cutting them all free and dumping them often seems more attractive than having to figure out how to tidy them up and and figure out what they're even good for.
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  #110  
Old 9th January 2016, 08:37
shadowonthewall shadowonthewall is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by CliffHanger
^ Ok, in your case, and perhaps the op's, that may be true but I also think that it takes a huge amount of courage for some to continue living and fighting rather than giving in. There are perhaps millions of people right now that have had a lifetime of mental illness yet continue to live and fight. I refuse to believe that all of those people are still here solely because they 'didn't have the balls' to end it. It takes courage to choose life in the face of an enemy that lives within them colouring their thoughts, clouding their judgement and intent on making the world as dark, confusing and scary as possible. I salute them all.
Well, there's no way of knowing how many people are 'brave' to continue and how many are abject cowards. If someone makes a conscious decision to continue living because their suicide would devastate their family/loved ones, then I have respect for that.

I think that it's a false dichotomy to say that one option is always 'the brave' one and the other is always 'cowardly. It takes a different type of bravery to end it all than to continue to fight against the obstacles that lay ahead.

I'd also like to point out that not everyone who is suicidal does have clouded judgement. I think it's very important to realise this, because 'people who are suicidal can't think straight' tends to be used as the main excuse to deny *everyone* the right to make decisions concerning their own body (thereby making slaves out of us all).
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  #111  
Old 24th February 2016, 21:00
Ronnie_Pickering Ronnie_Pickering is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

https://shulamitw.wordpress.com/2014...ling-yourself/
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  #112  
Old 24th February 2016, 23:21
ynwa247 ynwa247 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I don't want to kill myself, but I go to bed hoping I won't wake up every morning. If I had the motivation for seppku then maybe I'd have motivation to to fail so drastically in life.
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  #113  
Old 25th February 2016, 20:29
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jjoe
I don't want to kill myself, but I go to bed hoping I won't wake up every morning.
I've been going to bed recently hoping that I'll just die in my sleep. I'm not going to kill myself either but there are times when I feel it'd be preferable to end up in some sort of accident where I'm killed. Pretty horrible stuff reading that back, but it's how I feel, and I'm going to be honest. I spend so much of my day putting on a brave face and pushing myself to keep going that I'm not keeping up the pretense here.
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  #114  
Old 25th February 2016, 20:51
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
I've been going to bed recently hoping that I'll just die in my sleep. I'm not going to kill myself either but there are times when I feel it'd be preferable to end up in some sort of accident where I'm killed. Pretty horrible stuff reading that back, but it's how I feel, and I'm going to be honest. I spend so much of my day putting on a brave face and pushing myself to keep going that I'm not keeping up the pretense here.
Very sorry to hear this Sunshine. I've certainly been there before. I hope it passes soon.
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  #115  
Old 25th February 2016, 20:53
Indigo_ Indigo_ is offline
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^ Thank you
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  #116  
Old 26th February 2016, 00:42
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I hope everyone who feels the need to post on this thread feels better

I really think that most of my life is spent attempting to repel suicidal feelings - something that I have acted on numerous times in the past.
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  #117  
Old 11th March 2016, 19:00
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I'm really struggling with SH and suicidal thoughts today. My head is all over the place.
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  #118  
Old 11th March 2016, 19:01
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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^ Dimples
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  #119  
Old 14th March 2016, 17:44
ynwa247 ynwa247 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skitz
Achtually if there was one pill which i knew would kill me instantly then i would take it. So tired of my mind
maybe if i had access to a gun all my life i'd have pulled the trigger when really annoyed

who knows really :^)
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  #120  
Old 14th March 2016, 18:45
Tembo Tembo is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimplesxo
I'm really struggling with SH and suicidal thoughts today. My head is all over the place.
Hope you're feeling better this week
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