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#1
4th October 2017, 22:38
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Failing
Hey guys.
Well this is going to be a bit of a long rant.. I'm feeling so low at the moment. Today I dropped out of college 4 weeks in - i tell myself and my parents that I didn't enjoy the subjects I was doing and the work - but a big part of it I know is my social anxiety. Every one else is getting comfortable in the class and although they're nice enough I'm so paranoid about what they think of me that I just cant focus and feel like they're judging me. When I get the "you're really quiet aren't you?" I don't know why it still hurts so much I mean its obvious you don't have to point out  . It's like being back at school again  That sounds so pathetic. I cant even talk to anyone about how I really feel because i'm ashamed of it. All my so called 'friends' barely bother anymore anyway since I started college, but maybe I pushed them away because that's what I do. I've had SA for as long as I can remember but I have come on so much, but all of a sudden its like im back to the beginning. The real me is screaming to get out locked inside of this socially awkward, cold exterior. I come across cold and unfriendly but I dont want to be like that..Depression is creeping back in. I feel so pathetic and like I have no purpose in life. I'm also finding it really hard to get a job which doesn't help my anxiety but I get it people don't want to employ someone with no qualifications or good work and life experience. Sorry for the rant, and for being THAT negative guy. I guess I just needed to vent as its not something I feel I can talk about. 
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#2
5th October 2017, 11:36
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Re: Failing
You don't sound pathetic and there's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not your choice to have social anxiety.
 I think if it's starting to have a big impact on your life it's time to talk to your GP. I suggest writing down everything the SA stops you doing and taking that along with you. It took me ages to see my GP but I did get some help. Regarding the college course, I'm wondering if you could ask if your admission could be deferred? Is there a college counselling service you could contact?
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#3
5th October 2017, 13:28
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Re: Failing
I'd agree with Aelwyn's good advice,. maybe seek out student counselling services and try and re-join the course,..
college/university should really be more about academia, so don't let this recurring bout of SA take away all your hopes for college,. it may be just a blip. Quote:
it can be an introduction,. a means of helping you to talk, to engage with people,. I know it's a bit cack-handed but it can be used as an icebreaker of sorts, I guess you'll know exactly how it was used and in what context, but if I saw someone who I felt would benefit from being chatted to, or helped to come out of their shell a bit, it could start with saying something along those lines? having said that,.. I'd certainly rather be known as being a quiet person, rather than a loud person,.. loud people can be SO objectionable and annoying sometimes.
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