SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > Social Anxiety Discussions > Room with a View
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Closed Thread  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10th June 2005, 01:18
vibracobra
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default feeling much better

havent posted for a few months...

obviously things like this take time, you cannot and may not ever be cured completely, anxiety IS normal in certain doses, imagine a life where you were never anxious?

well about 5 months ago i was working full time, average admin job, hated it, all with people my age (19/20) who were immersed in popular culture, and therefore somebody like myself, who you could say has an 'alternative view of life' had no common ground to share with my workmates, i never spoke, people started doing the '"you're so quiet!!!" thing when they were around me. i had it in my head that i was almost a different species and could not communicate well with the other beings. and that the solution to this was to find a 'translator'....a quick fix, something that let me knew everything about what others were thinking and what they really meant when they spoke.

but i've realised something over the past few months, i know this language that the others speak, i didnt need a translator, all i needed to do was realise that everyone on this world speaks the same language, but that some forget and need to revise.

ok, confusing metaphors aside, everyone who beats SA always says 'there is more than enough power to succeed in ourselves' blah blah blah, and you sit there and think 'yeah, it's all good for you, but what about me?! i'm different! none of what you describe is relevant to me!'"

the way forward really is sometimes, to bite your lip and do something about it, whatever little step you can think of, that you always end up talking yourself out of doing. i say do it!

nothing drastic has happened, i have had no big revelations, i'm still single and happy about that.

i always thought that i had to act as others do to gain respect. i was spineless. i would never argue a point with my friends, even if i desperately wanted to. i would agree even if i really didnt.

IF YOU JUST AGREE WITH OTHERS TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, AND THINK THAT MAKING THEM HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR NEEDS MEANS THAT THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU, THEN YOU DONT HAVE A PERSONALITY OF YOUR OWN. AND HOW ARE YOU EVER GOING TO BE HAPPY IF YOU ARENT BEING YOURSELF? YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY, BEING YOURSELF IS JUST PERFECT.

it occured to me that i was living everyone elses life, because i was too scared to have one myself....thats why i would always hate people asking me questions, i didnt think i had a life, because my life was actually just other people.
i've started to get a life, so to speak, or rather just take pride in what i do and stop comparing my life to others.....we all die alone, you have control of your actions. you allow yourself to feel anxiety, even if you dont think so, there is somebody inside you, that was lost long ago you might have forgotten them, but there still there.

that person is the real you. try and find them again.

i'm the happiest ive been in such a long time.

if anyone wants to talk feel free to add me to msn

sandinyoureyes@hotmail.co.uk

or myspace - http://www.myspace.com/sandinyoureyes

love to you all! we're all really nice people, its time to show others that and feel proud about it!

chris xx(Emote: smileyellow)
  #2  
Old 10th June 2005, 09:27
pboy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: feeling much better

Quote:
Quote: vibracobra at [unixtime


the way forward really is sometimes, to bite your lip and do something about it, whatever little step you can think of, that you always end up talking yourself out of doing. i say do it!

IF YOU JUST AGREE WITH OTHERS TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, AND THINK THAT MAKING THEM HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR NEEDS MEANS THAT THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU, THEN YOU DONT HAVE A PERSONALITY OF YOUR OWN. AND HOW ARE YOU EVER GOING TO BE HAPPY IF YOU ARENT BEING YOURSELF? YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY, BEING YOURSELF IS JUST PERFECT.
Well done (Emote: pirate) I agree with both of those statements, to move forward you have to do something, no matter how small the change may be. It all adds up eventually.
Also I agree that you shouldn't agree (lol) with others to make them happy. It's something I've been guilty of cos I thought it was the only way to fit in, but I try not do that anymore.

Thanks for sharing with us (Emote: smile)
  #3  
Old 10th June 2005, 14:11
AdamUK
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: feeling much better

good post mate, im glad your finding yourself (Emote: smile).
  #4  
Old 10th June 2005, 17:41
Artificial__Ant
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: feeling much better

That's an brilliant post. (Emote: smile)

I'm in (but not for much longer!) the exact same position, a mediocre office admin job, although I'm 22 and I've been here for 4 years. For the first 2 years this job was really painfull - I stuck out like a sore thumb as being shy, very nervous and probably quite distant. It was trying so hard to fit in that was causing the most pain, but I only realised that much later.

The office contains mostly mid-30's males and the usual topics of conversation are football, cars and girls. It was really hard being so quiet and trying to steer clear of conversations involving any of these things that I knew nothing about - especially sexual experiences with girls, it seems that if you don't have much of a clue in that area, like I didn't, that you're considered different or inferior, so dodging questions on girlfriends and pulling quickly became my specialty. I used to go home every night worse than before I went in, depressed and confused as to why I was so different and didn't seem to fit in at all.

Gradually I've found my voice though and have spoken out more about various things, argued my case (which has often involved my lack pulling experiences and being vegetarian) on many occasions when usually I'd have kept quiet, yet felt worse for doing so. It's definitely a positive thing to be proud of your individuality, be true to yourself and be firm in what you believe, rather than become muted by conformity and the fear that, if you don't conform, you'll be considered weird or different - I think that if being weird or different is actually being your true self, then that's the only way to be.

I'm glad you've realised such important things at an early age! It's the one thing you have to really cling hold of, that there is a content and proud person inside each of us that will always be there and nothing can take away.
  #5  
Old 12th June 2005, 20:10
introverted_guy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: feeling much better

IF YOU JUST AGREE WITH OTHERS TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, AND THINK THAT MAKING THEM HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR NEEDS MEANS THAT THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU, THEN YOU DONT HAVE A PERSONALITY OF YOUR OWN. AND HOW ARE YOU EVER GOING TO BE HAPPY IF YOU ARENT BEING YOURSELF? YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY, BEING YOURSELF IS JUST PERFECT.

Yes, that's so true. I have been guilty of doing that too.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:09.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.