The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

[Avalon]

^ My heart goes out to you Kooky Monster
Please don't blame yourself for any of this, it's NOT your fault that your cats have reacted in this way, although I know that won't make the situation any easier for you to cope with.

I have a half completed PM for you that has been sitting around for the last 2 weeks but I'm ashamed to say that I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff. I've certainly been thinking about you though and hope so very much that this cat situation has a happy ending for you and them x

[Avalon]

@ Pink Lady, I'm so sorry that you are struggling at work. Some of the people sound awful. You deserve a medal for getting up and going in each day. I hope that you will be able to find yourself a better work environment

[3stacks]

I don't know how to fix my life other than ending it really. I have no grades or qualifications, not much of a social life, no romantic hopes (I've literally never had any) obviously lol, depression that doesn't go away, nothing to look forward to, severe social anxiety. It's probably too late to deal with any of these things.

[Dougella]

^ You're still very young (I know it never helps to hear this!) There's so much potential for things to change and get better in your life. As I've said before people here have made amazing progress and done things they never thought they would in their 20s, 30s, 40s and even beyond that. I'm in a place in my 30s that I couldn't have imagined in my early 20s and my depression is so much better.
I wish I could tell you exactly when things will get better for you! But you don't have to try to fix everything all at once, everything starts with very small steps. It's never too late.

[limey123]

^ What Dougella said.

I was despairing between the ages of approx 18-25, after that, things started to get better. Now I'm in my mid-40s and glad I didn't do something rash when younger. I know this seems less helpful for you right now, but things really can get better.

Start with baby steps and gradually tackle your worries, you can do this! Start with the things that are bothering you the most. Get all the support you can while doing this.

[Dougella]

^ I think it's underestimated just how bad those late teens/early twenties years can be for some people, things can just feel so hopeless. And social media doesn't help either when it gives the i ptession that everyone's gettjng on with life and knows what they're doing (when in fact most people don't have a clue at all.)

[Counterpoint]

For 3stacks

https://youtu.be/_o80Q4pLvTE

[3stacks]

I appreciate all the advice and support!

[AireleeBray]

hope things start looking better very soon 3stacks

[3stacks]

^ Thank you.

[3stacks]

Lmao that would be terrible

[3stacks]

You can sing all choruses

[Scott83]

Originally Posted by 3stacks

I don't know how to fix my life other than ending it really. I have no grades or qualifications, not much of a social life, no romantic hopes (I've literally never had any) obviously lol, depression that doesn't go away, nothing to look forward to, severe social anxiety. It's probably too late to deal with any of these things.

Sometimes you need to hit a low point in order to help you overcome things, makes you realise that you shouldn't be afraid of life. If you really do have nothing to live for then you have nothing to fear from trying new adventures, talking to people you fancy, etc.

I'm not saying it's easy, far from it. But from someone who has been there with suicide I can tell you it isn't the answer.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by tanya97

I'll PM Dougella and see if she'd drop a verse on a track or two, shes wise and full of wisdom

Thank you, but I really can't rap! Or sing or anything else lol.

[Utopia]

^ Well if it's any help, I've not bullied you. Try to be trusting of people, they don't all have ulterior motives.

[Merritt]

I'm completely ****ing sick of all this shit.

[Avalon]

^ Me too

[Dougella]

^ Your life is by no means finished with

[Utopia]

I've found dwelling on others lives is of no help, they are not you, they are not in the exact same situation with the same problems - life is really complex. It is just stupid to beat yourself up about the lives of others that you can see on Facebook - remember that the word is vast and only about a third of the world population is even on Facebook - you are probably still doing better than most of the world in many respects. I know life can be great so don't stop yourself building genuine self esteem through healthy means. The human mind and body is felxible and can be worked on; if you are overweight, unfit, a rubbish artist or whatever, if it is your passion just keep working at it and you will get better, and in doing so, your self esteem is lifted. There are things I will never be any good at, but there are many other latent talents or strengths that hadn't been nurtured. It is possible to gain self esteem through helping others, as well as bringing them down, people that bring others down are generally quite insecure themselves and the best hope they have to feel some sense of power or strength is to bring others down rather than lift themselves to a higher level - work on improving yourself rather than bringing others down - you don't get any guilt from doing this either.

[db838]

^thanks for that post Utopia, especially the first sentence. I've been feeling very down these past few weeks and almost not wanting to carry on any more. Sometimes I need to read a post like that to put things in perspective again.

[Consolida]

^ I'm sorry that you are really struggling
Are the mental health team aware that you are feeling suicidal Skittles?

[girlinterrupted]

I don't want to be here without him. I don't even know how to be,which is so effing dramatic I hate myself for posting it,but its true and I don't care how stupid anyone thinks it is.

I won't do anything because I have my elderly mum,she's the only person I have left in the world and would never want to leave her or hurt her. This hurts so bad tho,it doubles me up I can't breathe. I think I'm back to the original plan since my Dad died,that got potentially averted there for 13 years, that if my mum goes before me I'll just take a load of meds and leave.

I feel very alone even tho I know I'm so so lucky to have my mum after losing the rest of my (very small to start with) family,but it's as if I'm only tethered to the world by the tiniest single thread now,a wisp. I keep watching her if she dozes off to see if she's breathing. I'm so scared.

It wasn't supposed to be like this

[girlinterrupted]

^Ty,yes,she's the best mum in the world,but she's also very sad herself,not too well,74 and exhausted after looking after me for 43 years already and now the last days of me being hysterical. I don't want to worry her any more than I have to but she's all I have so...I dunno.

Also,ty for the hug you need them too Please tc of yourself too.

[girlinterrupted]

I won't do anything,I can't leave her on her own. I shall just be unbearably sad.

It's my back up plan though,for after.

[Consolida]

@ girlinterrupted - I'm so sorry that you are having to suffer the terrible pain of losing someone who was so dear to you. Words can't express how sad I feel for you

It's good to hear that your mum is a source of support and comfort to you at the moment and please post on the forum as much as you want if it helps you, in some small way, to cope with the unbearable grief.

We are all thinking about you GI xx

[Withy]

@girlinterrupted - I'm so terribly sorry about Ozzy.

I remember him when he first joined SAUK aged about 17. He had a good heart, was very knowledgeable about a lot of subjects, and you were his best friend.

I'm very saddened by this. His vulnerability always worried me.

As Consolida says, we're all thinking about you. ♥

[Dougella]

^ What about people you do know, or people in very similar situations to ones you've been in? Or animals? Do you find it easier to care then?

When you're suffering with depression it's very difficult to have energy for anything, that's not your fault.



Also why are you concerned about popularity? And why is getting Christmas messages from two people a bad thing in your eyes? For many people that would be a very positive thing.

[Dougella]

^ You don't sound like a self-centred twat. Not everyone is the same, caring about strangers is often difficult anyway and like you say with cats it's hard to witness suffering.


I think most people, no matter how popular they might seem, have only one or two really close friends who they could call in the middle of the night in an emergency etc. Yes it can be nice to have lots of aquiantaces and socialise a lot of you enjoy that, but it's not the most important thing.

[Dougella]

^ No it's not a bad thing to wish for. I'm not sure that most people are as social as you're I shining (although, being here what would I know!)



What matters is what would actually make you happy, not what other people seem to be doing.

[Counterpoint]

Hope you are hanging in there roro 1990

This Christmas is not easy for me either. I have made a determined effort not to get moody, sulky and withdrawn this holiday, and it has been interesting observing the feelings that arise as a result. It has brought to the surface how invisible, inconsequential and meaningless I feel. So I clearly do the self-pity melodramatics to give a form to my feelings. Without the drama of hating and beating myself up, there is this empty nothing in my head. Not much to chat to people about. Nothing going on in my life. My girlfriend (now ex) was very chatty and friendly and brought and my chatty self, but being alone again I realise how much this came from her. Alone I should resolve to learn to love myself again and celebrate being single and all the terrific opportunities that brings, but I have no desire to anymore. Social anxiety follows me everywhere and in many ways I feel I’ve thrown in the towel to it.