How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?

[chippy75]

I totally know how you feel, crapdave. I'm 32 also and although i have a few friends, they are all settled down and have moved on with their lives and so, I probably see them just once or twice a year now.

I'm no oil painting but I'm not repulsive either. However, this whole SA thing has really held me back during my teens and twenties when I should have been going out loads, having relationships and basically enjoying the normal, everyday things my friends (and sisters) have.

I do worry about my future in that sense. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with remaining single, if that is your choice, but I would love to be able to settle down and have children. Trouble is, I can't see me getting those things in the near future.

I know it shouldn't but being 32 and single makes me even more self-concious and like I'm being judged, which doesn't help with the whole SA thing.

[jontyboyoh]

Originally Posted by chippy75

I totally know how you feel, crapdave. I'm 32 also and although i have a few friends, they are all settled down and have moved on with their lives and so, I probably see them just once or twice a year now.

I'm no oil painting but I'm not repulsive either. However, this whole SA thing has really held me back during my teens and twenties when I should have been going out loads, having relationships and basically enjoying the normal, everyday things my friends (and sisters) have.

I do worry about my future in that sense. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with remaining single, if that is your choice, but I would love to be able to settle down and have children. Trouble is, I can't see me getting those things in the near future.

I know it shouldn't but being 32 and single makes me even more self-concious and like I'm being judged, which doesn't help with the whole SA thing.

Yeah, I've often thought that stuff like this gets worse with age, but I try not to think this, since it tends to make me more depressed.

[crapdave]

Originally Posted by chippy75

I know it shouldn't but being 32 and single makes me even more self-concious and like I'm being judged, which doesn't help with the whole SA thing.

Yes, it kind of feeds on itself doesn't it? For me it also affects things like, for instance, looking for another job, because the people I work with at the moment don't mention it. wheras elsewhere people might start asking questions.

[jontyboyoh]

God....... Recently, I've even found it difficult to have friends that I can open up to.......Gud at first, but so very intense once I've exposed myself.......Esp the opposite sex...........Feel so raw and tender.........God!!!!

[jontyboyoh]

Just thought I'd unearth this beauty for the New Year, for no other reason but to indulge myself! haha!

Come on.....surely its the largest responded to thread of all time?......Maybe Channel 4 should do one of their 4-hour countdowns!

Wooooooohooooooo!

[statico]

Can't believe it was a year ago when this thread was created. Time sure does fly!

[jontyboyoh]

Originally Posted by statico

Can't believe it was a year ago when this thread was created. Time sure does fly!

Yeah, I know its a yr ago; never mind that.......Just congratulate me for bringin it back! lol

[penny pitstop]

i've not closed the door to having a b/f. i'm still hoping to find someone on here, anybody want me, pm me please! lol

[hardy]

I think you should never close the door .
What worked for me and should work for many of you was learning to stop looking for that special person. the thought that "this could be THE one" can be what screws up your chances.
If she /he IS the one let it creep up on you gently . Suppress the tendency to HOPE at the beginning of any new relationship/friendship. Decide it is no big deal if it works or not there REALLY are more fish in the sea . perhaps most important of all realise that many , probably most relationships don't work so a "failed" relationship is not really a comment on your general desiarabilty.

Obviously dont be so laid back that it looks like youre totally uninterested though!

[Kath]

Jontyboyoh Dont give up. I think you look gorgeous and have lovely kind eyes! You will find someone, they always come when you are not looking so hang on in there! Forget about your bad experiences we have all had them and can learn from them so next time you are in a relationship it will be better.

[jontyboyoh]

Originally Posted by Kath

Jontyboyoh Dont give up. I think you look gorgeous and have lovely kind eyes! You will find someone, they always come when you are not looking so hang on in there! Forget about your bad experiences we have all had them and can learn from them so next time you are in a relationship it will be better.

haha......I'm blushing now.....You're the second person who's commented on me looks today.......:embarass: ........Thank U missy.......Wot u doin Saturday? lol

[Kath]

Trust me if I wasnt already taken for id take you up on that !!

[Rick Sanchez]

Originally Posted by hardy

I think you should never close the door .
What worked for me and should work for many of you was learning to stop looking for that special person. the thought that "this could be THE one" can be what screws up your chances.
If she /he IS the one let it creep up on you gently . Suppress the tendency to HOPE at the beginning of any new relationship/friendship. Decide it is no big deal if it works or not there REALLY are more fish in the sea . perhaps most important of all realise that many , probably most relationships don't work so a "failed" relationship is not really a comment on your general desiarabilty.

Obviously dont be so laid back that it looks like youre totally uninterested though!

That's about the right attitude to have, really. Though it's not just SA people that get lost in dreams of finding the one. There is no 'one' in my opinion - just different intensities of attraction.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I'm not sure how I can ever have a relationship, lacking experience in all departments, If I were to have one it wouldn't last.

Plus I'm sure my SA, depression and superficial insecurities make me involuntary shallow when it comes to finding a potential partner.

[IRIS]

I don't feel ready for one at the mo. Me and my ex split up and a big factor was my traits which went along with my mental illness and perhaps a bit of shift work problems, sleeping at the wrong times, oversleeping , drinking too much. I once asked him about marriage and kids as all our friends had gone down that road. He said I was too unstable to marry and I couldn't even look after my rats, let alone a child! I am still the same and doubt I'll find anyone to put up with me on a regular basis. Also , I am 6 years older than when I met my ex, I am almost 30 and certainly look it, I am not the wrinkless, celluliteless young whipper-snapper that accosted my ex in a club! I have totally no confidence with my body and with men these days, I have been on a few dates last year but I just had no confidence in myself, and didn't like them much anyway. SO, I don't think a relationship is imminent but I would never say never, I hope to feel ready at some point.

[T]

Nah i've left it ajar the door and not looking for one, if it happens it happens i've been away for abit and thought about alot of things and 2008 is going to be a good year i can feel it in them bones of mine.

:hat:

[Darnay]

I need to be able to be able to make friends more easily first. When I have a circle of friends I'd consider looking for a relationship. At the moment I'm concentrating on SA - I've just started CBT.

[jontyboyoh]

Originally Posted by Kath

Trust me if I wasnt already taken for id take you up on that !!

Fcuken 'ell, I always attract those taken......lol

[mental note: find a hitman]

[The Lone Stranger]

The door is closed with a big padlock and a table jammed against it.

[hardy]

now advertise BFG!!

[Wheelie Bin Bird]

Woop, have fun!!