How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Silent Treatment]

^ hope it resolves itself positively

[Mikei]

Somewhat gleeful at getting my washing in off the clothes line just before the rain starts...

[Tim.82]

^^^SA and depression can put a negative spin on things and make you think the worst. But if you have inadvertently upset someone, I hope it's something that you can remedy easily

[Northern Natterer]

Originally Posted by Tiger_Lily

I'm so sorry for your loss

Thanks Tiger Lily

D1662 - it is very easy to overthink things and think you've upset someone even when you haven't. Any chance of you speaking to them? Hope it works out for you.

[Professor Willow]

Originally Posted by Silent Treatment

^ hope it resolves itself positively

Originally Posted by Tim.82

^^^SA and depression can put a negative spin on things and make you think the worst. But if you have inadvertently upset someone, I hope it's something that you can remedy easily

Originally Posted by Northern Natterer

Thanks Tiger Lily

D1662 - it is very easy to overthink things and think you've upset someone even when you haven't. Any chance of you speaking to them? Hope it works out for you.

Thanks for the support folks

Guess what, I was being a paranoid idiot again
My friend is fine and probably wonders what all the fuss was about, how the hell do I stop this, it really will cost me a friendship one day if I'm not careful.
I still can't get over how much I freaked out, I was very nearly sick!
That's definitely not normal.

[Tim.82]

^I'm glad everything's okay with your friend. It's just one of the joys of SA and depression, overthinking everything

[Silent Treatment]

^^great news..it's strange how these thinking patterns keep repeating themselves even though we're aware that what we're thinking is quite probably false..hope you can relax a bit now.

[Dandelion10]

Went to see my best friend in hospital today, his sister came with me.

He is no longer breathing and the pneumonia infection hasn't reduced but he was half awake and I spoke to him. I was trying to sound strong, telling him things he would want to know about.

I knew he could hear me because he was smiling and trying to work his mouth to speak but couldn't quite speak.

He turned his head and looked at me and smiled as best as he could.

I've only known him going on 4 years but I saw him nearly everyday, we were very close. I kissed him on the forehead and said good bye. I didn't want to let go of his hand.

His sister said that whatever happens is for the best and I think she's right, he was just drinking everyday and couldn't do much or go many places.

[Professor Willow]

^ I really hope things improve for your friend Dandelion
Can't imagine how painful this must be for you.

[Dandelion10]

Thanks I just keep talking sense to myself like 'this is the situation, you can cope' and like his sister says, whatever happens is meant to happen.

I'm just glad he knew I was there for him today.

Everything reminds me of him as well but it will get easier.

[Mo34]

^


-----------

I just texted one of the girls where I volunteer asking if tomorrow is on as I hadn't been emailed the plan as usual etc.. It is but she's doing her first solo stint and is bricking it. So now i'm nervous in case she needs support
Tonight's bedtime chant for tomorrow - I must not be sa, I must not be sa, I must not be...

[Dandelion10]

Thankyou hun x

[Fluorescent Grey]

I've been struggling with self loathing. It's stupid and over the top but I do think that I am no good as a human being. I'm trying to be more sociable but that thought is always there. No-one is going to like me because I'm a stupid, worthless, uncaring piece of crap. So hey! Let's be friends. I don't deserve friends. It's rubbish but it's always there. I'm a nice person god damn it, but I think I'm a ****ing disease. And this does make it difficult to make friends. Why would anyone who is worth liking want to know someone like me? It's so ****ing stupid. People don't seem to dislike me but I think that they should because blah blah blah, something I did when I was 10 years old. You know, recently I've tried to talk to someone who felt suicidal, had a go at someone who said they hated women, and tried to tell someone why they shouldn't hate themself (Yes, yes. Easier to give advice than take it.). I don't say any of this as some round about way to big up myself and show what a great person I am, and I'm not fishing for pity. I probably wouldn't believe you if you said I don't sound too bad. But who's going to say such a thing to a piece of crap like me anyway? Blah blah blah. It's so damn stupid. And I hate myself for giving in to my stupid self loathing thoughts. Which doesn't help. I don't want to hurt anyone unless they're hurting someone else. That's good isn't it? I'm no genius but I'm not as dumb as I tell myself I am. Not everyone appreciates my weird sense of humour but some do. There you go! You aren't a bad person. Maybe some people will be glad to know you. God no! You're a ****ing worthless piece of crap and no-one will ever love you because you don't deserve love or friendship. And this goes on and on and on.

[Toxic]

somewhat deflated

Thats another weekend pissed away

and now back to that place....again

[Fluorescent Grey]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ I like you because you like Fugazi.

I've got this epic problem.

[girlinterrupted]

A bit worried. I feel I should be more worried but part of the problem is I`m starting to feel numb again,more and more,which is normally a bad sign for me and can mean depression creeping back in. Plus have had a few instances of disassociation again lately,and the fun intrusive thoughts have been poking their head up.

I dunno,I feel pretty crap but used to it I guess? Gawd what a ramble. Tl;dr: who the hell knows.

[Mo34]

^^
Good luck for your MOT retest Flumpsy.

[Professor Willow]

Meh
Just realised my 31st birthday is less than two months away!
Better hope the postman gets a bigger van in time to deliver all the cards

[Silent Treatment]

Guilty..stayed in bed until 1 o'clock..had a downer of a morning and now i'm just bored..will force myself to go for a run I think,even though I don't feel like it..hate this wasted days feeling.

[Pink*Lady]

Sad

[Professor Willow]

@Darth Sidious
@winter*
@Pink*Lady

Hope you are all feeling better soon

[Pandapop]

So colddddddddddddddddddd
Want my bed now.

[Finn2187]

Originally Posted by Pink*Lady

Sad

why sad Pinky? has something happened?

[Dandelion10]

After two weeks of intensive care the doctors have said there's nothing more they can do. My friend is now under sedation until all his family can see him and then he will be let go.

Today I spent time with my mum and sister, I cried as much as I needed, I was happy that I got to say goodbye and that he smiled when I kissed his forehead.

Some people don't get the chance to say goodbye.

Now I am just waiting for the call and reaching out to people, I would usually be alone but this time it's better to be among people.

My sister said that people choose their time to go and I think he didn't expect this illness but now he is ready.

[purplerose]

^^ I'm really sorry to hear about your friend
I'm glad you got to say goodbye.

[Professor Willow]

^^^ So sorry to hear that Dandelion
At least you said goodbye
Thinking of you

[Dandelion10]

Thankyou

I'm going to grieve in a healthy way, maybe move back home for a while.

Really appreciate your support on here guys, it means a lot XXX

[Chimpy]

Really sorry to hear that Dandelion, look after yourself. x

[Dandelion10]

Thankyou hun, I will x

[Fantastical]

Sorry to hear that Dandelion. Thinking of you