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The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
If you are feeling suicidal, please read this: http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=37514
I thought I would create a thread which is specifically designed to create a space for those who are susceptible to suicidal tendencies, who are able to talk openly about their experiences with suicide, whether they be attempts or thoughts of suicide, and create a support place for those suffering from any problems relating to suicide. I know what it is like to be suicidal - I have seriously attempted suicide twice, once when I was 12, and the other time this year. I know how isolating and lonely it can be when one experiences these feelings at the very end of the spectrum of despair and depression, so I hope this thread can serve as a support system and safety net, to those who are susceptible to these feelings. I'm not sure how popular this will be, but I hope it can serve some use to people, and create a supportive and welcoming environment to people who wish to talk about a serious topic - suicide - whatever their specific problem may be. Whilst posting, please try and post according to the rules of the forum: Quote:
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#2
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Re: The Suicide Thread
I have fleeting moments where it crosses my mind. Normally as a means to escape suffering. On a scale of 1 being in an absolute black hole and 5 being fufilled, satisfied and happy I would be in the 2-3 realm. I would never do it and I think i'm intelligent enough to know when i'm spiraling downwards to speak up and ask for help.
places like this forum serve a good purpose as an outlet for people to come and connect with others who understand what they are going through and can mean a lot for those who feel like they have nothing or nowhere to go. |
#3
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Suicide isn't easy.
You could end up being in a vegetative state or dying horribly. The worst case is being "locked in", being 100% paralyzed and living 30 years of hell. Life has to seriously suck to begin to consider risking the above like being stuck on Mars alone or similar. |
#4
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
My first suicide attempt at 18 was the worst. Between 1975-84 I had several other attempts. Whether I wanted to die or they were extreme cries for help is debatable.
I know I often wonder whether life is worth living but the fear of death and what may be beyond life holds me back. I also do not have the drive and motivation to commit suicide. Ironically I do not think that when you are most depressed is the most likely time you'll attempt/commit suicide. I think that comes when you are depressed but still have the drive and motivation to act on your thoughts. They say that suicides often happen when people's depression has lifted enough to be discharged from hospital but has not gone away. The combination of residual depression and increased drive and motivation can be deadly. |
#5
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Appreciate all the posts so far. Very interesting, and has given me things to think about. I shall reply in more detail when I have more time.
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#6
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Interesting idea for a thread,hopefully it can help (if it helps even one person then it`s a roaring success).
I haven`t much to add except a (probably stupid) suggestion- would it be an idea to link the stickied thread entitled `Feeling Suicidal? read this first` in this one,maybe in the first post? I know it`s stickied at the top of the forum already but some people may miss it,especially if they view by the New Posts button,and it could be a helpful resource for anyone feeling that way when they search out this thread. Just a thought |
#7
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Interesing topic. Hope it stays healthy.
I've made an attempt on my life as well. And recently. Not going to go into details ofc, but I planned it about 2 weeks in advance. Even quit my job thinking it would remove some of the embarrassment of it, since so few would notice I'd be gone. I'd been very depressed before and said to myself I was suicidal many times. Probably more in self-depreciating bravado than anything else. But this time it felt different. Like there was something final to it, that it would never go away. It felt like I was right to do what I was doing. So I carried out my plan to it's end... but didn't do it 'right' and so here I am. As for what it has done to me now? If anything it has served to me a unnecessarily drastic reassessment of myself. I've cut out the shite I had around me, and decided to get some proper help from a professional. My psych lady is varying in usefulness, but it's worth the effort to try. I'm still a little freaked out by it. I did it so coldly, if someone saw me during that time they'd have not suspected a thing (I imagine). I have no idea if I'd ever think of doing it again. The only thing which upsets me about it is my family. They don't know about it and never will. I couldn't give a shit about myself or anyone else any more. But they don't deserve me giving up like that. I think if there is anything you desire in life then there is something to work for and to keep going. I'd never encourage anyone to even consider it. It's never too late to try again and restart your life. |
#8
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#9
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
interesting piece on BBC website on getting help and assistance when feeling suicidal
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#10
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Suicide, I don't know what this word means to me any more, I get word's chucked at me all the time do they really mean anything or are they all stemming from one kind of problem. I've had my fair share of tries over my life time, since the age of 16 I have been taking over doses regularly I am now 29 and must be well over 14 tries of various way's. I am not proud of it. I never will be.
Does it ever go from my mind? That's the question I ask myself a lot, I am not so sure now. I have got so used to hearing it, now it's part of me naturally but in an unnatural self taught way. I always think things will be better off without me, because I have taught myself this over the year's I have made myself believe that. Maybe it's because I try to make it easier on myself that if I did do it my last moments would be thinking about how everyone is better off. ("Everyone is better off without me, everyone is happier with me not here.") I would like to live normally without the constant threats I put towards people, about how I am going to do this and that. But am I really going to do it? Another question I ask myself, Sometimes I use it as a way to tell people how bad I feel because I don't know any other way I can tell people, I am trying to fight the threats and the urges to fight against not saying it, deep down I just want to feel better and sometimes I see no option to say something like that just to get it out there that if I did do something then I have told people and it wasn't a you never told me thing. I am never trying to make another person feel bad I would never want another person to feel bad because of me saying it, but I can understand why people would get upset and find it triggering. "Will this time be the time?" Everytime I start drinking heavily inside my own head.. Am I thinking that because I want to do it, or am I thinking I just want help and this is the only way I can seem to get help sometimes because the mental health services are that crap around here that this can be the only way it can be done. In my head I don't know how to live with the "Normal" day to day thought's thinking that way makes me feel anxious and scared, but being suicidal also has me feeling that way, but, it also gives me a plan to get out of it if I wanted to. Thing's seem painful, I can't cope a lot of the time but I am still here and that must mean something.. I think. I don't know the word suicidal anymore because it's just a part of my life, when I wish it wasn't. |
#11
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Re: The Suicide Thread
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#12
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#13
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#14
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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Regarding your other point. I don't fear death, because I don't think there is anything beyond life. It's the fear of what I will leave behind which mainly prevents me from acting on my thoughts. |
#15
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#16
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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I`m glad I made a helpful suggestion for once re: the sticky link,this is a noteworthy occasion indeed! |
#17
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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Was kind of you to ask though,ty |
#18
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I also apologise.
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#19
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I do have these feelings, but I don't think they are that strong. Well they pass with time. But other people cannot deal with my moods and you do lose friends when you are so down. On Friday, my chat room friend (ex-friend probably) got angry with me and she had been wonderful to me previously. So later in the evening I was sitting down watching television and I had this most awfully numb feeling. I did not know what was happening. I thought I might be having some kinds of breakdown.
I feel ill and down at the moment, but better than on Friday evening. Hopefully that was my lowest point. Well unless I take up limbo dancing! Sorry for going on about myself, but it is the only topic that I am an expert in. |
#20
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#21
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I haven't attempted suicide yet but I know there is a high chance of that happening sooner or later. When you live in isolation and lose touch with any sense of hope for the future things can become very hard. I understand that as time goes on I will only get worse. tbh I am not too sure why I am writing this, but I feel like this a path I have to walk alone. I know what I have to do but I feel like I am biding my time waiting for a miracle The pain and fear is so overwhelming now but I am used to it now. sorry but super scared but also tired and frustrated. my options are running thin and my suicidal thoughts are becoming stronger and stronger. But at least even i had somewhere to vent.
I urge all those contemplating suicide to get the help you deserve. The best advice I can offer is if you feel even in the slightest way suicidal you need to address it when it starts. And if you have gotten to a stage where you are making a plan to commit scuicide that you seek help immediately Gd luck and hope all those who suffer from mental health issues can find the solutions and be as happy and fulfilled as you can be. |
#22
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
^ Thanks for the post silent. I hope you get the help you need and I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this too.
On another note to all here: in your experience, has someone ever said something to you which actually made you feel better? I've often found that the things people say to me in order to make me feel better, either make me feel worse, or just the same. I think mostly it's because I feel more alienated when people try and be nice, because often it demonstrates that they don't understand what it's like to be depressed in the first place. |
#23
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I think my motivation is too low for suicide, I phoned samaritans last week and hung up the phone since I had no clue what to say. I was out getting food and I felt like doing it, I'm not exactly the type to talk to random people about my issues over the phone.
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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#25
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I found out fairly recently that Samaritans have drop in centres for anyone who does need to or wants to chat to someone face to face rather than on the phone.
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
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I don't think anything anyone can say could make me feel better. |
#27
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
I don't know why I'm bothering to get further help with my depression. It can't get better. It never will get better. I really do know that, no matter what anybody says. I think I always wanted to because there was a semblance of hope that it could, but that's just wishful thinking. It's far too severe to even improve, and it never has. All of the symptoms are immutable. The anhedonia, the severe low mood - they're part of me.
A family member committed suicide the other day. Of course it runs in the family. I wish things could have been different, but it can't. I remember a time when I was happy: Primary school. I can at least say that I had a taste of joy during my life, and I am grateful for that, I really am. I think it's time for me to stop bullshitting though. I'm going to the doctors sometime this week, because I'm a fool. I obviously haven't learned my lesson yet - a lesson which has taken me years to learn, and which I am only just finally comprehending, and agreeing with. |
#28
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
^^Sorry you feel this way SuBo. Why not seek help if you have nothing left to lose? It's got to be worth trying to do something before taking the most permanent, irreversable action. It's not inevitable if you don't do it. Please talk to someone in the hope that it will do some good.
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#29
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
SuBo, it sounds like you've been through a very difficult time recently. If your feeling desperate please use one of the helplines, they're there to help.
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#30
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Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning
Thanks for all the responses. I appreciate it
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