Stood up for myself

bluebottle · #1 14th June 2007, 13:23

Last weekend, I went to a friend's place and we all prepared food together in a crowded kitchen. There was 5 of us. When the food was finished, one of the girls attacked me for not helping enough with the preparations. I admit that I dislike overcrowded kitchens and it's hard for me when tasks are unclear, I never know when to ask for more work, I don't want to get in anyone's way, etc. However, I did help and there were times when that girl's husband just sat down doing nothing, and no one commented on it.

Anyway, that girl went at me in a totally uncalled-for tone, calling me childish, and causing a seething rage in me. I sat down to lunch fuming and I kept on thinking that I needed to say something to her, but I was reluctant to because I didn't want to spoil the gathering. In the end, after we had finished eating, I made a sarcastic comment about not helping enough and offered to wash the dishes (I did mean to wash them), so she went at me again and this time I struck back. I told her several times that there was no need to speak to me in that tone and even when she kept up her rude behaviour, I stood my ground. Later, in front of the house, we had another discussion where she flung several unfair accusations at me and I still didn't back down. In the end she even smiled at me again and addressed me in a more moderate tone, although she never said sorry, but neither did I!

This is a big achievement for me as I have been known for years as a person who lets people walk all over her. I would have done anything to avoid a fight, now I actively entered one when someone treated me wrong. I didn't even spend a lot of time thinking about whether she might have been right, as I would have in the past. She might have been right about the fact I could have helped more, however she was wrong about her tone and arrogant manner. I am so glad I managed to tell her that.

Ross PK · #2 14th June 2007, 13:32

Well done, that's great.

ShyDoll · #3 14th June 2007, 17:26

That girl sounds nasty =( i despise when people assume just because we're not getting involved with something that we're like lazy.

Well done bluebottle!

W!llow · #4 14th June 2007, 18:10

Well Done Bluebottle.

I don't think you were rude at all, just standing up for yourself, thats great.

shok · #5 14th June 2007, 21:29

Well done Bluebottle !

Its difficult with SA to face these types of ppl and situation's so give your self credit for doing and not let her gettign away with it.
I'm sure lots of ppl with SA can identify with this kind of situation.

I still avoid getting into arguments of any kind but there has been some rare situations where i have kept my ground like you did and it felt really good.

So well again and try to do it more often !!

- shaukat

Orchid · #6 15th June 2007, 00:23

So pleased for you Bluebottle!

I must admit I mostly let negative comments wash over me, but occasionally I'll bite back and the feeling afterwards is great!

Jules07 · #7 15th June 2007, 09:35

Nice one bluebottle.

sounds like the person was very out of order.

it really shocks me how people can be unnecessarily mean when people are feeling weak and defenceless. they just get a kick out of asserting themselves, and dont think how terrible it makes the other person feel.

people used to push me around and diss me when i had SA. now i feel happier and more confident, and some of them want to be my friend, but i wont forget how they treated me when i was weaker, so they can go whistle for it.

you gotta stand up for yourself in this world. if you bottle in the humiliation you just get stomach ache.

bluebottle · #8 15th June 2007, 11:30

Thanks guys, for all your supportive comments. They were most appraciated.

You're a terrific bunch of people.

ShyDoll, you've made a very good point, it's so unfair when people call us lazy.

Jules: Good on ya for not letting people get away with treating you badly. It's an ugly trait in someone to treat a supposedly weaker person like rubbish.