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#1
22nd April 2006, 19:50
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Going off the rails at 40 - Where next?
Going through a very odd phase at the moment. Its almost as if I am trying to take stock of my life. Basically i feel unhappy and trapped by my work and homelife - just need to get away
 My attitude now is "What the hell - Im going to live a bit" and forget the consequences. Ive been off work sick now for weeks but just cant face going back to that situation. My self esteem is at a pretty low ebb. Part of me wants to revisit my twenties, go out have some fun - get drunk even. I seem to have spent my whole life worrying about what other people think. Ive been reliable kind and generous, but Ive lately got to the stage where I feel I've been taken advantage or used by alot of people. My selfless attitude has got me nowhere. I just feel that its time to do something for me and go out and enjoy myself for once before its too late and i end up as some miserable lonely recluse. My partner doeasnt help the situation, happy to stay in and not socialise. I am so bored by my life I just seem to exist or survive. My attitude now is "Why not live fast and die young" what have I got to lose and to be honest I just dont care anymore. I dont even care if I get into debt over this If I can just live a little before I die.  Am I going completely mad? Can anyone identify with how I am feeling? What will the consequences be - I just feel like I want to rebel 
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#2
29th April 2006, 18:52
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Totally mate, will be 37 in the summer and am too fed up with existing rather than living. I've always been pretty conservative with what little money has trickled through my fingers, but in the last month or two I've got to the point of thinking bollogs to that, you only get one life and I don't want to look back with any more regrets than I already have about a wasted life.
I've never done a days climbing in my life but want to do Everest base camp in the next 18 months - anyone else interested? (£1,500 all in)  as well as some other mountain climbing closer to home. First I've got to buy my first ever pair of climbing boots etc. etc.Sod the consequences, live the dream
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#3
29th April 2006, 19:04
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
I can totally relate to you mate and i myself had the same attitude and went on a mad on for about 6years and ended up losing alot and now have no friend,s what so ever.
I suppose if you are going on a mad 1 for the right reasons then it does,nt really matter, but just to try and make yourself feel better it did,nt work for me and in fact made things worse!! For me the people around me knew it was all an act and thay just ran a mile. Sorry to be nagative mate but i,m 36 and the 6 of that part was wasted doing what you wanna do. I still have problems but have over the last couple of years been learning myself a bit of music production and its hard work but a focus helps??? |
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#5
4th June 2006, 13:55
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Hey greenman
i can totally identify with what you are saying. i had a stress related nervous breakdown due to work and a few other major life events coming along at the same time. Right now I have to decide whether to go back to sensible very well paid job (which I've been signed off from on half pay for 6 months GUILT) or b*gger off and do something more exciting instead. I am trying new things and it's exciting but a bit scary. I managed to wangle myself the possibility of working in a photographer's art gallery off a random stranger yesterday. I just don't do things like that normally. But like you I think well so what for the consequences later down the line. It's exciting but scary!!! I might even consider the Everest base camp lol!! I am rapidly approaching 30, which I think has a lot to do with it. I also read a story in the Herald about two young women who had suffered from suicidal depression and anxiety. When they got a bit better they travelled round the world together. Yay, I fancy doing that. Right, I'm off to hand in my notice!! (maybe :D ). |
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#6
5th June 2006, 03:06
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next?
Quote:
luckily enough i will always have a roof over my head,so screw the rest,debt so what,whats the worst,credit rating i,m pissing myself  now this is my position as an individual so it may not suit everyone.my anxiety has destroyed my best years,so i,m an enemy of conformity.anyone want to do something daft,like climb everest,or set up an anxiety commune in india i,m up for it.let me know and i,ll try my damnedest to make it happen.:D |
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#7
5th June 2006, 03:27
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Quote:
count me in sir real, come on folk respond,we are a long time dead. viva sa-uk |
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#9
13th June 2006, 03:57
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
my god,is there is no life after 40 with anxiety for some folk,or i have read it wrong.i hope most people are coping comfortably with it,and they no longer need to post.
r.i.p. over forties.i hope life is treating you well . |
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#10
14th June 2006, 11:43
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Life isn't over at forty. The first half of mine was crap. I spent 17 years hiding away from the world. Now at forty lifes getting a whole lot better for me. Never say die. Never give up. No matter how old you are. As for the age thing, we are not a number, we are people.
Bye for now, I'm moving to a new flat today. New flat, new life, new begining.
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#12
14th June 2006, 21:08
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Quote:
 You wouldn't believe how lovely and posh looking the flat is. I think I need someone to pinch me to wake me up. Its too good for the likes of me guv. Its right on the edge of Peterborough near Flag Fen. Which reminds me.............. I must check on my piece of wood from the walkway of Flag Fen to see if its crumbled.:D |
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#14
15th June 2006, 17:16
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next?
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Greenman, just seen your post so maybe too late -- perhaps you're already frittering away your savings at a blackjack table in Vegas? There's more than a hint at self-destructive behaviour in your post. Don't throw baby out with the bathwater -- you won't thank yourself when the urge subsides best, Phil |
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#15
16th July 2006, 14:39
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
Some of these getaway ideas sound great esp Everest- keep me posted. Btw- I hear where you are coming from but I don't know if it's possible to turn on your heels this way and it turn out the way you would like it to. Take care and keep us posted on how things turn out :-)
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#16
29th July 2006, 15:29
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
I hope your wish comes true and you get the chance to make Everest base camp Greenman. How long does it take to get there, and are you going to hang around on the top of tower blocks before hand to try and get your body used to the altitude?
It's never too late. I'm in my forties but in the last year or so, I've taken the bull by the horns as it were, and decided to indulge myself in the things I enjoy most. It's probably a mid-life crisis, but it's a great fun going through it. |
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#17
29th July 2006, 15:57
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
I thought that life began at 40.
My 30s have felt like one long mid-life crisis. It's when you realise that you aren't gonna die young, however fast you lived. I'm only 34 and I can't wait for the next 6 years to pass, so I'll be forty and life can begin. Now I hear that I'll still be going off the rails.  
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#18
31st October 2006, 04:53
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
There's more than a hint at self-destructive behaviour in your post. Don't throw baby out with the bathwater -- you won't thank yourself when the urge subsides
I was thinking the same..nothing wrong with trying out new things but keep your foundation!
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#19
16th November 2006, 11:00
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Re: Going off the rails at 40 - Where next
I'm amost 40 myself and started doing the nutter after my mum passed away in my arms 2 years ago, that was it - now I live in Beijing and lived let's say dangerously - the high that you get when you do nutty things seems to be addictive and you want to keep on with that behaviour that's the only problem, after that then life gets really boring, I mean going back to your old life -- but its true you live once so maybe you could let your hair down.
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