Co workers bringing up your SA!

[GoldFish]

I actually posted this story in another thread but this week i had three people go on about how "im shy" ...and im actually semi chatty to the people who i work directly with, but because i work casual in a HUGE restaurant there are loud arrogant chefs, also waiting staff and co-workers are everwhere, again its not the ideal place for somoene who has symptoms of social anxiety simply because its like walking through an asteroid belt of people for the entire time your there, but i figure that being used to that environment could help a little.

just two nights ago while i was working i had a girl who i chat to sometimes say "your so shy, why is that" ....my reaction "uh oh, how do i respond to that" .....then i say "its just a work thing, im not always loud here" ..etc ....its the best i could do in the heat of the moment

then she discusses it with the other guy who i work with in that section ...he says "aaaw are you shy?" ....and im just thinking "oh gawd my worst nightmare"

then her friend walks into our section and this guy i work with says to her "you know that goldfish(aka not revealing name) is shy right?" ...and she responds "yeah i remember you used to be so chatty when you started here, now this new guy has replaced you and is the chatty one" .......

the other girl walks in later and says to me "so your shy then?" and i jokingly respond "maybe you havent been paying attention" :D ...because i do make an effort with these people.

then the other girl walks in looks at me goes "awwwww" ...like im some helpless child and i respond "oh stop it, your starting to scare me" ....and she laughs.


conclusion: awkward! to say the least, i do talk im just not a non stop chatty person, i know they meant no harm and what they said isnt a lie at all, but its not something i was anticipating to happen, having 3 co-workers bring it up during work, anyway life goes on right, i sort of get the impression that shyness is a crime to some people and yet i think it depends how comfortable i am in a given environment, and i can honestly say that its not a comfortable environment for me, even when im positive im inwardly falling apart in an environment like that, its like working in a party environment, and ive never been wired for those situations, thats not to say i couldnt ever be comfortable there, but its taking a while for me to settle in, over a year and i feel like ive made no progress, i only work a couple of shifts a week to save money so i dont know alot of the people there as well as people who work full time

enough ranting from me, anyone else relate to what im saying?

[hardy]

In some ways its better than being totally ignored!
I think the best way to treat it is to give the attitude that "yeah I'm shy .so what about it?" some people are shy just as some have blue eyes and some not. KInd of laugh at them if they say its odd. However probably most people dont think its unusual so dont see negativity when its not actually there.

[crimson~raven]

I'm quite lucky Im the only women in my office and the guys here always make sure Im ok. I can be sometime extroverted have a laugh and a joke with every one but when things kick in with my head and I don't feel like talking no one teases me. I'm very greatful for that. I have had minor trouble in that past where by I couldnt talk to any one and actulay got fired from a temp job once because it was a small office of 3 women and I couldn't talk to any of them - ho hum.

ETA. goldfish btw it sounds to me like the girl who said aww may have ben flirting a lil (just my opinion) as in not that she thinks your a child its the kind of thing girls say sometimes x

[Kevin Hodge]

@ goldfish - ouch! to the max!

i think you handled that admirably well considering, well done!

i'm also inclined to think that if they can bring it up like that then they obviously don't think there's anything wrong with it.

if people at work ever said anything like that i'd say that i've got far too much work to do to take much time to talk - "unfortunately".

[Gattaca]

I can kind of relate.

I used to go out with office workers occasionally but after a while got bored of it. You spend all day with them, the last thing you want is to spend evenings with them too.

After turning down many invitations from them, of course I eventually got labelled with being a no lifer. One day I declared I was leaving work early to go to the cinema with a friend and a woman said loudly 'Wow you're actually going OUT!?'. There was this hushed silence and I just walked out. Silly cow.

You say to them " I DO go out, just not with you losers"

[scarlet_diva]

I think it's pretty tactless of them to go on about it like that, and in front of you, too. I'd never do that myself. But there you go; colleagues = love 'em, hate 'em, you still have to somehow put up with them, that's the prob. I think you're doing well there considering the situation, I think I would probably have gone off on one, by now lol, but I have a bit of a short fuse.
I know what you mean about more extroverted people acting like it's some crime or disease. :rolleyes:
In a way I can relate but mine is a v. big company so I'm not the only quiet one & don't stick out so much I think. Anyway you just hang in there and just ignore it or turn it into a joke like you did, which is actually the best way IMO to handle situations like these.